Walk of Shame Page #9

He does.

I got it.

Meghan, where the hell are you?

Yeah, I'm on my way. Listen, have

hair and makeup standing by.

They're ready.

They're ready. Get here.

And can you connect me

to an outside line?

Hey there, I saw your

ad on Swinging Singles.

Let me ask you something.

How can you be that hot,

that young, and that single?

Oh, sorry.

Got to go. Duty calls.

Lady, get out of the way!

Does the f***ing siren

not mean anything to you?

Meghan Miles, this is

Chopper Steve setting down.

Okay!

I got to go.

I got to do the news.

All right. Good luck!

No, you come!

I'm not good with helicopters.

Good luck, Meghan!

You're going

to be great! Kill it!

We love you, Meghan!

Whoo!

Christ on a piece of halibut.

What happened to you?

I need to get to the station.

This is crazy.

There was a girl in a yellow dress

out there who almost got killed.

Yeah, yeah.

That's nuts. Let's go.

Let's cut some sky.

Meghan!

We love you, Meghan!

Good luck, Meghan!

You're going to be great!

Read that news!

It's so exciting!

Cops, cops.

Cops, cops, cops.

Okay, let me do all the talking.

No, opposite, opposite.

Ma'am, did you see a woman in a

yellow dress get on that helicopter?

I saw Meghan Miles, undercover

investigator for KZLA,

get on a helicopter.

Wait, the woman we're

chasing is just a reporter?

Dear God, it's worse

than we ever imagined.

The hooker has

infiltrated the media,

where she's posing

as KZLA's Meghan Miles.

What do you mean,

she's infiltrated the media?

So, you're saying

that our best friend Meghan

is an undercover hooker?

It looks that way.

So, you have

an idiot friend, too?

Yeah, mine's by choice. I mean, you

got stuck with this guy, right?

We have her, let's move!

Oh, my God, honey!

There's too much to do.

Move. Come on, get on the chair.

Hurry up.

Triage.

Just do the upper line.

Okay.

- I got her. Let's go.

- Go, go, go.

This is the copy?

Ten seconds to air.

Come on.

Hi.

All right, this is going to be great.

It's up to me, right?

And now, here's

Meghan Miles with your news.

- In three, two, one.

- Perfect.

Right. All right. Get out!

Good evening, I'm Meghan Miles.

Our top story.

A woman authorities describe

as a bitter

and deranged prostitute

in a yellow dress is

rampaging through our city.

This hooker hoodlum's...

Hooker

hoodlum's... Um...

This working girl's

sinister spree

began with a dispute with

an immigrant cab driver

and would include

evading police,

distributing crack cocaine,

and possible

hate crimes.

Oh.

In other news...

You know, I know I'm only

supposed to read the news today.

But I

can't read this story

because I know

that it's not true.

Because this story's about me.

I am the Hooker Hoodlum.

Look. Look, it's me.

The yellow dress and the...

I'm the breaking story.

Yeah. I'm your

news at 5:
00.

Your...

Look at this. Huh?

The bad guy of the hour.

Shall we dig a little deeper?

"Hooker Hoodlum." Hmm.

Hooker. Yes.

I woke up in a stranger's bed.

A lovely, lovely stranger.

And I had to endure a

really weird, very long

walk of shame.

Look at these feet. This is how

much I walked, right here.

But I am not a hooker.

Which I have said repeatedly

all evening long.

Also, I'm not ashamed.

I shouldn't have called

it a walk of shame.

Not ashamed.

And I don't care what

people think anymore

because it is exhausting.

So, let's just let

the shame lie with everyone

who took one look

at a girl in a...

In this...

I mean, this is not, I agree,

the most conservative outfit,

but this should not automatically

make me a pariah or prey.

And besides... Meghan,

have you lost your mind?

The point is that

everything I did,

I did because I was

trying to get back here

so that I could

convince a few people

that I am someone

that I no longer am.

I am not safe or perfect.

And if I'm going to

tell you the news,

I should be

telling the real story

and not just

reading this dumb script.

Dan, I'm sorry.

You're the best.

You've been nothing

but the best to me.

And you're gonna

haul me out of here.

So, real quick,

I just need to say that,

Kyle, I never want

to see you again.

I know that for sure now.

I'm so glad I dumped her.

Kyle Mullen!

We traced your number

from a recovered

cell phone used by

a drug syndicate.

What are you talking about?

Rose and Denise, thank you more

for being my friends

and coming to get me.

We did good.

We crushed it.

Hey, is it too early for shots?

Hell to the no.

What are you still doing here?

And, um, new guy,

Gordon. Hey.

So, I'm a little bit crazy.

Also, you looked really

good in this dress.

I just remembered that part.

And one last thing.

A big shout out to my boys,

Scrilla, Hulk,

and especially Pookie.

Dang it!

What!

And to Little Skeezy or Skanky maybe.

And his uncle in chinos.

I'm sorry I don't

remember the rest, Pooks.

That's my b*tch from the news.

That's the news.

I'm Meghan Miles.

Be well or, you know, whatever.

Just...

Just be yourself.

I mean, just...

Okay. Thanks, Dan.

Good luck, Chuck.

Chuck, move to Meghan's chair.

I think we should

get out of here.

Yeah, maybe we should go.

Yeah, I think we should.

Meghan Miles,

you will be missed.

Good day, Los Angeles.

I'm Chuck Rogers.

That wasn't... You know what happened.

I'm not crazy.

No, what was crazy about...

Meghan.

Incredible.

Yeah. I'm really sorry.

You should hire Chang.

I mean, what an incredible idea

for an investigative series.

The girl in the yellow dress.

Right, but you know I didn't plan that.

It was just what happened.

Even better.

Like To Catch

a Predator meets...

Tyra Banks in a fat suit.

- Meets Undercover Millionaire.

- Yeah.

It's fresh.

Meghan, I know there's something

we can do together

at the network.

What are we talking about?

It's a reality show.

- I love it.

- Love it.

Reality.

Your call.

I need to think about it.

And get back to you.

Dan, here,

can get the ball rolling.

I just need a pair of shoes.

Maybe a sandwich?

Yeah, we need some shoes.

Some food, too. Definitely.

Maybe brush my teeth. Right?

No, no, you're fine.

Just do some hair fixing.

I got your back, Meghan.

Oh, boy.

So, what do you

have in mind for us?

You two are a package?

Yeah, I'm her producer.

How much to go away?

Hey, babe.

There he is. Arrest him.

Sir, we need you to stand up, put

your hands behind your back.

What are you talking about? Put

your cookies down. Let's go.

What are you doing, arresting me?

For what? Being too sexy?

Ow!

So, your place or mine?

Oh. Yeah. Um...

I'd love to show you mine. It's very empty.

But it has a bed.

Nice. How are we

going to get there?

Ooh. I have not

thought of that.

Maybe we should take that cab?

No, no.

No time for that.

No, it's not.

No cab? I never want

to see a cab again.

Okay.

We're going to walk. We can walk.

That's fine with me.

This will be more

of an adventure.

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