WALL-E Page #3

- It's that easy.

- Huh!

Now, due to the effects of microgravity,

you and your passengers

may have suffered some

slight bone loss.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

But I'm sure a few laps

around the ship's jogging track

will get you back in shape in no time.

We have a jogging track?

If you have any further questions,

just consult your operation manual.

See you back home real soon.

"Operate Manuel."

"Operate Manuel."

Uh...

Manuel, relay instructions.

Manuel?

Wow. Will you look at that?

CAPTAIN:
Let's see.

(MUMBLES DISMISSIVELY)

Huh?

EVE.

WALL-E!

(ELECTRIC WHINING)

(WARBLING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

EVE.

(WARBLING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

CAPTAIN:
Well, let's open her up.

"Step one.

Voice command, 'Confirm acquisition.'"

"Step one.

Voice command, 'Confirm acquisition.'"

CO MPUTER:
Confirm acquisition.

CAPTAIN:
Ooh!

Voice authorization required.

- Uh...

- CAPTAIN'S VOICE: Uh...

COMPUTER:
Accepted.

(BEEPING)

Ooh.

(EX CLAIMING)

- (STAMMERING) Where's the thingy?

- AUTO:
Plant.

Plant. Right. Right. Where is it?

Maybe we missed a step.

- Show me how you change...

- Plant.

- Show me how you change...

- Plant.

- CAPTAIN:
Okay.

- WALL-E.

WALL-E!

(WALL-E WARBLES)

- EVE?

- Plant!

CAPTAIN:
Why don't you

scan her to be sure?

(GASPS)

AUTO:
Contains no specimen.

Probe's memory is faulty.

- So then, we're not going to Earth?

- Negative.

I guess things go back to normal, huh?

Correct, Captain.

- Well, false alarm!

- COMPUTER:
False alarm.

- Well, false alarm!

- COMPUTER:
False alarm.

The probe must be defective.

(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)

GO-4, send her to the repair ward,

and have them run diagnostics on her.

Make sure she's not...

Ah!

WALL-E.

Have, uh, WALL-E cleaned.

WALL-E:
Yoo-hoo!

EVE.

(EXCLAIMS STERNLY)

(WALL-E MOANS)

Analyze.

COMPUTER:
Analysis.

Foreign contaminant.

Substance is a three-phase system

composed of various combinations

of naturally derived solids.

(YAWNS)

Subject is most commonly referred to

as soil, dirt, or earth.

"Earth"?

Hmm.

Define "earth."

Define "earth."

Earth, the surface of the world

as distinct from the sky or sea.

Wow.

Define "sea."

Sea, an expanse of salt water

that covers most of the Earth's surface

and surrounds its landmasses.

Foreign contaminant.

APPROACHING ROBOT: Whoa!

(SKIDDING)

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

(EXCLAIMS) EVE.

Whoa!

BEAUTICIAN-BOT:
Just a trim?

You look gorgeous.

(WALL-E EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)

(PROTESTING)

(STIFLING SNEEZE)

Fore!

Fore!

Fore!

(WHIRRING)

EVE!

(BLEEPING)

COMPUTER:
Clear, clear, clear.

(WARBLES)

(EX CLAIMS)

(EX CLAIMS)

(LAUGHING)

(CREAKING)

Whoa!

Ooh!

Whoa!

(PUT ON YO UR

SUNDAY CLOTHES PLAYING)

(PUT ON YO UR

SUNDAY CLOTHES PLAYING)

EVE! EVE!

Ah!

(GRUNTS)

WALL-E.

(EX CLAIMS)

(EVE EX CLAIMING IN ALARM)

(WALL-E GROANS)

(ALARM BUZZING)

WALL-E!

(ALL POWERING DOWN)

(CHATTERING INQUISITIVELY)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(WALL-E YELPS)

WALL-E!

(ALARM SOUNDING)

BEAUTICIAN-BOT:
Oh, my.

STEWARD-BOT:
Halt!

(SHUDDERING)

(EVE EX CLAIMS)

WALL-E!

COMPUTER:
Caution. Rogue robots.

Caution. Rogue robots.

Caution. Rogue robots.

(EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)

WALL-E!

(WEAPONS POWERING UP)

(EVE EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)

STEWARD-BOT:
Halt! Halt!

(EVE YELPS)

COMPUTER:
Caution. Rogue robots.

WALL-E!

(EXCLAIMS)

D- FIB:
Clear.

EVE:
Ooh!

Caution. Rogue robots.

Uh-oh.

EVE.

(ELEVATOR CHIMES)

(TAPPING ON PANEL)

(TAPPING ON PANEL)

(HESITANTLY) EVE?

(POWERING UP)

Earth.

Earth.

Oh!

Ah.

Directive.

(EX CLAIMS)

(WARBLING)

WALL-E.

(STERNLY) WALL-E!

(ELEVATOR CHIMES)

Uh-oh.

(POWERING DOWN)

(EVE GASPS)

EVE:
Plant!

WALL-E.

- EVE.

- WALL-E!

(ESCAPE POD LAUNCHES)

(SCREAMING)

(BLEEPING)

(EX CLAIMS)

COMPUTER:
Cruising speed.

(CRASHING)

You are now free

to move about the cabin.

Huh?

(GROANING IN FRUSTRATION)

Oh!

(BEEPING)

Twenty seconds to self-destruct.

(GASPS)

Ten seconds to self-destruct.

(SHRIEKS)

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

(GRUNTING)

Three,

(SCREAMING)

Two...

(EXPLODES)

(WEAKLY) No. No.

EVE!

WALL-E!

(BUZZING)

Whoa!

(WARBLING)

WALL-E!

(WALL-E EXCLAIMING)

Oh!

EVE.

(EVE GIGGLES)

(WALL-E MUTTERING)

WALL-E.

EVE.

(GASPS) WALL-E!

(SHOUTS OUT IN JOY)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BUZZES)

(SIGHS GIDDILY)

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

(GIGGLES)

WALL-E.

(GIGGLES)

WALL-E:
Whee!

(EVE LAUGHING)

(WALL-E CHATTERING)

(EVE GIGGLING)

(BOTH EXCLAIMING HAPPILY)

Oh, so many stars.

Oh.

(GASPS IN SURPRISE)

- Hey! Hey! That's what's -his-name!

- Hey! What the...

- Look! Look at that.

- Huh? What?

Hey. I know that guy. It's, uh, WALL-E.

- Hey, WALL-E! It's your buddy John.

- Hi, WALL-E!

(GASPS)

Hi.

Hi.

CAPTAIN:
Define "hoedown."

COMPUTER:
Hoedown,

a social gathering

at which lively dancing

would take place.

Auto, Earth is amazing!

These are called "farms."

Humans would put seeds

in the ground, pour water on them,

and they grow food, like pizza.

AUTO:
Good night, Captain.

(GROANS)

(WHISPERING) Psst! Computer.

Define "dancing."

COMPUTER:
Dancing, a series of

movements involving two partners

where speed and rhythm

match harmoniously with music.

WALL-E:
Uh-huh. Uh...

(SWEETLY) EVE.

EVE:
Home.

(CRASHING)

(CHATTERING)

Uh-oh.

COMPUTER:
The lido deck is now

closing. The lido deck is now closing.

(MARY AND JOHN LAUGHING)

- JOHN:
Stop that.

- Make me.

I didn't know we had a pool.

LIFEGUARD-BOT:

No splashing. No diving.

- JOHN:
Oh, go on.

- (FIZZLING) No splashing. No...

(GASPS)

(BEEPING)

(IT ONLY TAKES

A MOMENT PLAYING)

(GASPS)

(SWEETLY) EVE.

# ... it only takes a moment #

Shh!

(MUSIC STOPS)

(EX CLAIMS ASSERTIVELY)

Directive.

(WHOOSHING)

CAPTAIN:
Prepare for landing.

(IMITATING DOCKING)

(IMITATES BRAKES CREAKING)

"We're here, everybody."

"Yay, Captain! Captain, we're home!

It's so beautiful!"

"No. It's nothing.

I was pleased to do this.

"It's all about you people.

It's not about me."

(RATTLING)

How?

How did you find it?

(SIGHING REVERENTLY)

We can go back home!

For the first time!

- What's it like now?

- Oh!

No, no, no. Don't tell me.

I want to see for myself.

Wait. That doesn't look like Earth.

Where's the blue sky?

(WALL-E EX CLAIMIN G)

Where's the grass?

(WALL-E EX CLAIMS)

# ... Sunday clothes

when you feel down and out #

I know that song.

# Strut down the street

and have your picture took #

They're, um,

dancing.

Yes, dancing.

# That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look #

# Beneath your parasol... #

You made it somehow, huh, little guy?

You didn't give up, did you?

(GASPS)

Okay, then. Come on.

(GASPS)

Wait a minute.

# ... when time runs out #

# That it only... #

(WALL-E S Q UAWKS)

Huh?

Huh?

EVE?

EVE!

EVE!

Uh-oh!

WALL-E.

(PRACTICING) EVE.

EVE.

EVE.

Pathetic.

EVE.

EVE!

Oh!

Huh?

Foreign contaminant.

(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)

There you go, little guy.

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