Walter Page #2

Well, I can't!

Living, dead,

what's the difference?

I told you, I can't

get a read...

A read, a read, right, whatever.

Uhh, make a guess.

I honestly don't care

where you send me,

just get me outta here.

Flip a goddamn coin!

It doesn't work that way.

Why not?

Because I have to know.

Who cares?

He does.

I have to be right,

that's how it works.

And how does that happen

with normal people

who aren't, you know, dead?

I just see them and I know.

You do all this

on a f***in' hunch?

I wouldn't expect you to

understand how I work.

There's certain... mysteries

that can't be explained.

Mysterious ways, right.

Godspeak for bullshit.

Can't feel anything.

You have any idea

what that's like?

I'm sorry, but I...

I still can't help you.

What's the harm

in trying, Walter?

I have work to do,

and anything that keeps me

from doing that work

is harmful, so please...

Go away.

Okay, I know I promised

not to talk about it...

I'm fine.

You don't look fine.

I told you we're

not talking about it.

Well, you have kind of

a plague-y look.

Plague-y?

Well, a pre-plague-y look,

but that's how it starts.

I don't have the plague.

Ohh, The plague.

As if there's only one.

Goodnight, Mom.

Okay, okay, okay.

This time I promise:

We will not talk about it.

You won't keep that promise.

How do you know?

Because you've broken it five

times since we started eating.

Well, then tell me!

Tell you what?

Whatever it is!

You're gay.

What?

Aren't you?

I'm not gay.

It's okay if you are.

But I'm not.

Well, you're something.

Something not gay!

The book said you'd say that.

And the book about

having a depressed son

said I would deny being

depressed if confronted,

and so did the one about

having an alcoholic son,

and a cutter,

and a crystal meth addict, and... Hey.

I mean, it makes the most sense.

And I want you to know that

I am totally okay with it.

Goodnight, Mom.

Walt!

I'm not sick, I'm not gay

and I'm not hungry.

Whatever's going on with you,

you have to talk about it.

If not with me,

then with somebody.

There must be good

therapists out there.

We can find one.

Walt?

Walt!

I'm not dead, Mom.

Just checking.

Karen?

Karen Benjamin?

No.

Oh, my Christ, is that you?

I haven't seen you in so...

Honey, hug!

Oh...

Oh, yeah, we're doin' it!

How are you?

I'm great.

I gotta tell you,

that office was never

the same after you left, mmm-mm.

Oh...

Really.

What have you been doing?

How's little Walter?

Oh, I guess he's not

so little anymore.

Gotta be in college

by now, right?

Yeah, college and...

girlfriend.

I mean, he's great.

We're... we're... we're great.

Oh, that's great!

Umm...

Wow!

Oh, well, you know,

we ran out of eggs.

Hey, Walter.

You want some popcorn?

I made it just for you.

Special.

With extra butter...

and bathroom doorknob feces.

Let me know how many eggs

you want for breakfast, Walt.

Wally?

Walter!

Walter.

Walter...

Don't be like that, Walter.

Go away!

That's all I'm trying

to do, buddy, go away.

Forever.

Leave me alone!

Not a chance.

Wanna snuggle?

Stop!

Stop! You have to stop!

You have...

Are you gone?

Is this destructive

ghost silence,

or "gone forever because you've

realized I can't help you"

silence?

Walt?

I'm... I'm fine!

Every... everything's fine.

I can hear you yelling in there.

You can go away now,

'cause everything's okay,

and I just need to start

getting ready now, so I...

Umm... I have

your clothes ready.

Thank you.

I'll just...

Everything's fine?

Oh, I forgot the battery.

What?

You asked me to get one

with a battery for a backup.

Right. Batteries.

It's important to be on time.

Well, everything's fine.

I need to get ready now.

I have a lot to do today, so...

Okay.

Does it help?

What?

If something's wrong with you,

if something isn't

making sense...

does it help to talk

to someone about it?

Yes.

I really need to start

getting ready now.

As soon as I'm done hugging you.

Walter Benjamin.

That's my name, yes.

That is your name.

Walter Gary Benjamin.

Ohh. You hiding bodies,

Walter Gary Benjamin?

Bodies?

You got a sort of serial killer

kind of name.

Anyone ever tell you that?

No.

Of course not, that's

a terrible thing to say!

So, what kind of crazy are you?

- I'm not crazy.

- Sure.

But since you're here,

might as well pretend

you're not completely

sane and normal

so that I can pretend

to make you less crazy.

You ever been in therapy before?

No.

Your mom said that

after your dad died,

she took you to at least

ten different therapists.

He wasn't my dad.

Who?

I didn't come here

to talk about him.

Well, who'd you come

to talk about?

Greg.

Greg.

He's a ghost.

Greg's a ghost.

Yes.

And that's who you came

to talk about?

Greg, the ghost?

Yeah.

I'm not supposed to see ghosts.

That was never...

There's a plan.

Of course there is.

But I can't really

get into that.

Greg needs to go.

Okay? He's not supposed

to be here, so...

there must be something

wrong with me, in my brain?

If you know how to fix this,

I need you to do it

as quickly as possible,

because it's starting to have

a very negative effect

on my work.

Could we go back

to Jim for a second?

I'd rather not.

Well, of course you wouldn't,

but I'm a doctor,

this is my office,

and I'm bigger than you,

so let's do it

my way for a second.

Is Jim a ghost too?

If I tell you, you have to

promise not to get angry.

Why would I get angry?

Because you're going to hell.

Tell me something I don't know.

You have the most beautiful

eyes, you should show those.

You should really show those,

they're really nice.

Thank you.

Damn, they'd look really

good for cameras...

That picks it up, and then

when you down the iris scope...

She's beautiful.

Yes, she is.

Gonna talk to her?

You don't exist

and I have work to do,

so I'd rather not have

this conversation.

Just say the word, and I'm gone.

Go!

That's not the word

I'm lookin' for.

Mine starts with an "H",

preferably two syllables,

but I'll take what I can get.

Go away!

Talk to her, and I will.

Really?

Not forever, O Chosen One.

You're not getting rid of me

'til you do your job.

But I'll give you

the afternoon off.

And all I have to do

is just... go... just...

Talk to her like

a person would, yeah.

But I don't think

you have the balls.

I've got plenty of...

balls.

Prove it.

Hi. What's going on?

Uhh, maybe if there's

some free time after

all the matinees start, I could

buy you some Junior Mints

or something. But you wouldn't

have to eat them with me,

they... they'd be a gift for you

to enjoy at your own leisure.

Umm, actually... all of us back

here kinda just...

borrow the candy that we want,

for free,

so we don't have

to pay for it. Shh.

I'm right here.

It's fine, he doesn't care.

See ya later.

"Maybe after the matinees start,

"I could buy you some

Junior Mints or something?"

That was f***ing beautiful, bro.

Really, I mean it.

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