War, Inc. Page #3

It's hot in here. Let me get that for ya.

Krishmish, come over here.

This is Ms. Hegalhuzen, she's

writing a story about the show.

All right. Okay.

Ms. Babyyeah's ready for her run-through.

We've gotta go. My trade show's your trade show.

Come on, girls. Gather here.

You say you want to invade me, baby.

You say you want to enslave me, baby.

I want to blow you up.

You say you want to free me, baby.

BGut you cannot even see me, baby.

I want to blow you up.

I want to blow you sky high, high, go fly.

I want to blow.

You.

You want to occupy my heart and soul.

A black widow in a spider hole.

I want to blow you up.

I want to blow you up.

I want to blow you down if it's okay.

Mr. Hauser, how do you feel about

the image of Turaqi women...

My coat!

Cut!

So there's this reporter who really despises me.

I mean, she doesn't really despise me,

she despises what I represent.

I think if she knew the real me, she'd hate me even more.

I mean, don't you think?

I wasn't there. Does it really matter?

Actually, I think I just like the sound of her voice.

I could listen to her revile me for hours.

Do you think with her, the reporter

I mean, it's just about sex?

- What do you mean just?

- I don't know.

There's this Turaqi pop star. She

disturbs me and I can't figure out why.

Could you be attracted to her sexually?

No, are you crazy? She's just a little...

I'm not calling you in the

middle of the night, Mr. Hauser.

- I gotta go.

- Whatever.

You're a f***in' a**hole.

GuideStar!

This has to end for me, sir. I

want a different kind of life.

I want to get married, start a family.

Operation Chickenhawk never ends.

The ceaseless epic struggle to dominate...

the destiny of man obliges his noble

cares to continually purge the world...

of those who are evil-doers.

But that's not just working for me right now, sir.

A woman?

You and I, Hauser, are a part of a rug hook.

All these years I felt a special

bond. Don't you feel that?

No.

Well, you think about it.

If you still feel this way in a couple of days...

I already told you, sir.

- That'll be all.

- Yes, sir.

Marsha, this is kind of a bad time.

Hey! I wanted to give you the heads up.

A delivery should be there any second.

When, now?

Oh, sh*t.

Sir, I have your dry cleaning, sir!

Thank you. Thank you.

I need the ticket, sir.

- I have that somewhere.

- Yeah, I need that claim ticket, sir.

I think I put it... should be around here somewhere.

- You're talking about the claim ticket?

- It's around here somewhere.

- Sir, can you hurry?

- Yep.

Sir, I gotta have that ticket or...

No, no...

Oh, here it is.

- Sir, you have a nice day.

- Sure.

Yo, yo, yo, mother f***ers!

It's me.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Straight from the dry in Rammstein, Germany.

You can't believe these guys. 20

years ahead of the rest of the world.

And this cost the U.S. taxpayers, what?

Three, four grand?

Be nice. I'm really sorry about the jacket.

Okay.

Listen, would you like to get a Turaqi coffee?

I hear they make it great here.

Cardamom mace. The good kind.

I was just about to wash my hair.

It's a delicacy. Sweetened with pomegranate honey.

One cup?

Give me a minute.

What?

There's just something irresistible

about a Western woman speaking Turaqi.

Is that a recognized international phenomena?

No. It's a personal sensibility.

Look. I admit I don't actually

believe any of this stuff we say.

I mean, not in the sense that I

believe it to be actually true.

You talk too much. I want to ask you something.

Doesn't it hurt you to put yourself

in such a contorted moral position?

Can you tell me, for example,

one completely honest thing?

One.

This is Donny Loo's favorite juice.

It is rated at just under a quarter

million Scoville units.

When I find the demands of life to be challenging...

I take a wee drop.

The more challenging...

the higher the Scoville units.

- Let me.

- Be careful.

But the trick, you see...

that I've taught myself, is to

never allow my eyes to tear up.

One completely honest thing.

If you really knew me, you'd despise

me even more than you do.

No. I don't despise you.

I don't really care enough.

Marsha.

It's f***ing great. Michael Bay can blow me.

He can and he should.

- We do all of Yonica's videos.

- We're blowing up.

A bad choice of words.

Listen, guys, this has been great. Thank you.

I have another meeting. I have to run.

But I, I really enjoyed it.

Let us have some footage of the

wedding. We'll hook you up, dude.

Hey, we know everything that goes on in Turaqistan.

No place we cannot go, no one we

don't know, nothing we cannot do.

Okay.

Does one of you have a card? Whoever the leader is.

Here we go. The Jackpot.

Here, thank you. Thank you.

There you go. You have his, and he has yours.

- Yes.

- He's got yours.

- It's gonna be great.

- Bye-bye, guys.

Where's my package?

The shipment left the warehouse in Dubai 2 days ago.

We're tracking it.

Just get me a f***in' cobra, all right?

- A snake?

- Yeah. Chop-chop.

Come on, spit it out.

Is only me, Mr. Big.

Yonica. Hi.

Listen. Sorry about my reaction to

your song. I didn't mean to offend you.

No. I am sorry. I am so stupid to

not understand that you are woman.

Uh, sorry?

In Turaqi we have no word for this. Same as for a woman.

No, no, no. That's not it.

I predict most people. Why not you?

How my ass make you puke?

Bad babakanoosh or something.

I think you're lovely. Stunning, actually.

- Lovely?

- Yes.

You think attractive?

Yep. Definitely.

- Does her ass make you puke?

- Who? Who? Who?

That skinny b*tch reporter with the tape recorder.

No.

You're a tit man. Do you want massage?

Be a happy ending.

Does your father know that you talk this way?

- My father?

- Yeah.

I do not speak to him anymore.

But he sends me money for dancing

lessons and singing lessons.

I am with Ooq-Mi-Fay now.

And he wants for me to be big success.

Yonica rules. That is what he says to me.

- What about your mother?

- Dead.

I'm sorry.

For why? You did not kill her.

I don't think so.

Too much sorry. Too much.

Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you?

You are a f***ing a**hole, do you know that?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry". You're always sorry.

F*** you, Mr. Sorry. F*** you.

Yonica, don't go away mad.

Marsha?

Get me a dinner reservation tonight. Somewhere with soup.

So everything's OK? You're closing

some big deals at the trade show?

Is there an actual reason for this meeting?

I am not big on bullshit.

I'm your host. I want you to be

happy nd that everything is...

well and you're taken care of.

A beautiful woman.

There is something we can agree on after all, then.

Can you get me an introduction?

- She's a journalist.

- Who cares?

Sit. Don't eat all your soup.

Thank you.

So between your father's indictments,

were you still on the lacrosse team?

No. I actually blew out my f***in' knee. Hey, you.

Hey, we are doing an interview here.

Omar Sharif wants to meet you.

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