Watch the Skies Page #8

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Stand down, seal six.

If we go in there hot, we'll humiliate her

for the rest of her high school days.

Let's just lay low.

Just taking in intel.

Look, there's that kid from Costco

with the big fat dick.

Walking around with his massive cock,

like he owns the joint.

That sh*t's just banging against

his kneecaps.

Twenty bucks that guy's dick dips

into the toilet when he takes a sh*t.

Whoo!

Hey, girl.

Uh-oh.

Dig that sh*t! Dig that sh*t.

Who's your daddy?

I'm her daddy, you piece of sh*t!

- Come to daddy's bedroom.

- Okay.

- It's the master bedroom.

- Ooh!

Let's move ass.

- Which way are we going?

- Down! Down!

Right this way, gentlemen.

Please, after you.

Thank you, Jamarcus.

it's a nice place you got here, Paul.

I like the paint.

Thank you, Evan Trautwig...

and allow me to pay you

a compliment in kind.

I see you out there, jogging...

and I often think to myself, "My God.

"What a perfect specimen."

Excuse me, two perfect specimens.

Gentlemen...

Say goodbye to the world as you know it.

More!

And say hello to paradise.

Welcome to the sanctuary

of the human spirit, gents...

because tonight is all about freedom...

and, some about boning.

I think we solved the battery mystery.

Come on in, boys.

The water is just right.

Yeah, the cinematography is unreal.

It's definitely going to win

Best Picture.

- Switch?

- Yeah.

This is disgusting.

It stinks in here.

Come on, I was wrong. Let's go.

Hey, do you mind

if I suck on your balls?

I'm going to see how this plays out.

I'm going.

Oh, here we go.

I'll get your name in due course.

Mr. McAllister.

Mandy, this is quite a gathering

you got cooking here.

I'm a little surprised.

It's a little late for the chess club

to be out.

What have we got here?

A little weed, a little tequila.

Where's the hard stuff, pussies?

- Are you guys twins?

- Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

I can't even tell you guys apart.

I'm kidding. Slow down.

You kids are out of your mind.

I feel like the three of us just met...

but I feel like I'm the triplet

in a weird way...

but in a sexual way.

Where do we take it from here?

I'm located about 45 minutes

south of here.

I live with my mom.

I'm not here to break up the party.

I want you kids to get hopped up,

but I'm looking for a Chelsea McAllister.

Anyone here know where she might be?

You guys know

who I'm talking about, right?

Maybe we should go back to the party?

No. I want to keep doing this.

Okay, I just think we're going

a little fast.

We're not. This is amazing.

We should keep moving

at this exact pace.

Maybe even a little bit faster.

Seriously, Jason, stop it.

Seriously, Chelsea, I don't want to.

- Chelsea?

- Dad?

- What are you doing here?

- What the hell?

Dude, get out of here.

- Let's just go.

- Are you okay?

You're ruining this.

Catch you later, Chels.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey!

Hey, jackass.

I'm talking to you, prick!

You think you're cute, you little f***!

Oh. my God!

Ouch!

That looks like a real gusher, Bob.

- Come here.

- Dad!

Dad!

Are you okay, Dad?

I'm okay, honey.

Just stung a little bit.

You don't f*** with Bob.

You show Bob respect.

Okay.

Bob's my special guy.

That's right.

That just happened.

You don't tell your parents about this.

You don't tell your friends about this.

You write it in your dream journal,

you lock it up...

and you put it under your pillow.

Or I will come back here

and I will kill each and every one of you.

Except for those two hot girls

I was talking to.

They have my information,

please have them get in contact with me.

They seemed great.

I'm glad you showed up tonight.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, honey.

- Come on, let's go home.

- Okay.

I'm okay, honey.

I think you got it all.

You can put it away.

- You doing all right?

- Mmm-hmm.

Bob, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, I'll be in in a second.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

I appreciate you showing up.

I know it takes a big man to apologize.

What happened back there was not cool.

You abandoned your post.

If that had been an alien hive,

we would have been killed.

- So, it wasn't a hive.

- Where's Jamarcus?

Jamarcus decided to stay at Paul's.

And no, it wasn't a hive.

It turned out to be a local orgy.

- What?

- There's an orgy happening, locally?

So, you're mad at me

for leaving an orgy?

It doesn't matter what it was.

The point is, you left us hanging.

It's the principle.

No, the principle is I went

to go help my daughter who was in trouble.

Evan, you can't be such a control freak.

You're too uptight.

Yeah, Bob, I'm uptight.

I'm uptight about the aliens

that are killing people in our neighborhood.

That's what I'm uptight about.

Neighborhood Watch isn't for people who

can't handle their daughter's personal sh*t.

Did you even hear

how you sound right now?

Why don't you look at your own

personal life, Evan...

because you don't even have one.

You don't talk to your wife.

You don't have any friends.

- I have friends.

- No, you don't, man.

- I have tons of friends.

- No, you don't. You have clubs.

You start these clubs,

and you become a dictator.

You just boss everyone

and you tell them what to do...

because you're running away

from what really matters.

You don't have the guts to deal with

what's going on in your own home.

I have the guts to do this.

You're out of the Watch.

You can't throw me out of the Watch.

I just did.

Okay, I don't care.

I'm going to start my own watch.

You can't, because there already

is a watch. So you can't do that.

Oh, yes, I can start my watch...

because if I'm not in your watch,

you can't give me rules anymore.

I'm going to keep my own logo, too.

I never liked that logo, anyway.

My logo is awesome!

My logo is Chinese.

The Chinese understand movement...

and I understand the Chinese.

I combined flight with flames,

with a tiger.

What am I combining, Evan?

Serenity, optimism, attack.

Franklin, let's get some pudding inside you.

Franklin, you do not go in that house.

Jesus, Evan, you don't own him.

You don't own all of us.

Franklin is his own man.

He can make his own decisions.

He can think for himself.

Franklin, get your f***ing ass

in the house!

Don't you speak with Franklin!

Franklin, you stay! Franklin, stay!

Come! Franklin, come.

Come here.

Frank. Come here, Franklin.

Come here, Franklin.

Franklin, look at me.

Franklin, come on.

Evan, you're a special friend...

But I live here.

How does it feel, Evan,

to be in a club of one?

Maybe he's jacking off too much.

Like, the well is dry

by the time you get home.

Ew. Stop.

Have you noticed any abrasions

or signs of stress on his penis?

Abrasions? No.

Like, he's pulling on it too hard?

I'm sterile.

BYE-bye.

- Hey, Carla.

- Hey.

Honey, I can't have kids.

I went to a doctor

and got it checked out.

And I am barren.

It's me, it's not you.

It's not the both of us, it's me.

And I've been trying to tell you, but

just every time you wanted to have sex...

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