Watch the Skies Page #9

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it was all I could think about.

And I didn't know how to tell you, so...

Why wouldn't you tell me?

Isn't that the kind of thing

that couples figure out together?

I just knew how much

that you wanted this...

and I didn't want to let you down.

Yeah, but I want this.

More than anything.

I don't know,

we can figure all that other stuff out.

All I ever wanted

was for us to be a team.

That's all I ever wanted.

No more secrets, okay?

Actually...

There is one more secret.

Okay.

Hey, Evan.

Jamarcus, now is not a good time.

Well, I need to tell you something.

I know, I just need to be

with my wife right now.

This is more important.

Whatever it is, it isn't.

Trust me, we need to get the

Neighborhood Watch together now.

Do you want another one?

Is that going to hold you over?

I'll eat more pudding if you have more.

I don't know that I'm open

to an apology yet.

Are you serious?

Jamarcus, what is going on?

Oh.

What the f***?

Oh, my God.

Is that a parlor trick?

It's okay. it's okay.

Touch my goo, Bob.

Feels like cum.

Holy f***, it feels like cum!

He's a f***ing alien!

You stay the f*** back, Jamarcus!

What the hell is going on?

Franklin, I'm not here to hurt you.

Believe me,

I've had many chances to kill you.

You're one of them?

You're an alien?

Look, our ship came here

six months ago...

and we have been hiding ever since.

We inhabited your human form

to infiltrate your society...

and learn your weaknesses,

but instead--

Why is this thing still talking?

Let's kill him.

Because in a few hours,

our transmitter will become operational.

When it signals, our armada

will commence a global invasion...

starting here in Glenview,

which is clearly not ideal for you.

- What?

- Why?

We're aliens. That's what we do.

We come to planets,

we destroy them, we move on.

Wait a minute.

Did you kill Antonio?

No! God, of course not.

I know who did, his name is Flertrok.

The man is a f***ing c*nt.

Where is this transmitter thing?

The only place big enough,

with enough power and supplies.

Costco?

Yeah.

You've been planning

an alien invasion in my Costco?

You really do have everything we need

under one roof.

Why are you telling us this

if we don't have any time to stop it?

What kind of sick

f***ing head game are you playing?

Well, because there's good news.

If you leave now,

you will survive the initial invasion.

And after that, if you take to the desert

and live in caves and crevices...

you could live with moderate dignity

for most of your lives.

I don't believe a word he's saying.

He betrayed the Watch.

Yes, but since then...

I've come to know humanity's compassion

and beauty and love.

I don't want to lie anymore.

And also the ball-sucking

was a real eye opener.

Look, I'm not going to ask

for your forgiveness...

because I don't deserve it.

I'm really sorry.

Just go.

Okay.

Please, save yourselves

while there's still time.

What the hell is happening?

If we don't leave here

right now, we're going to die.

Guys, are you actually talking about

giving up and leaving Glenview?

No, I think we go

and alert the authorities.

Get as many people out as possible.

And then what?

And then, I don't know.

Evan's right. We need to hit the caves.

Guys, we're not going to let Glenview

become ground zero...

for an alien invasion

and not do something about it.

We're the Neighborhood Watch.

This is what we do.

No, Bob, come on.

It's what we did, or never really did,

because we didn't really do anything.

Until now.

I say, tonight we change that.

Evan, you started the Neighborhood Watch

because you believed in something.

You believed in this town.

You believed in these people.

You believed in us and I still do.

We're not going to let a bunch

of aliens waltz in here...

and do whatever the hell

they want to do.

I say, not on our watch.

I say, they drew the short straw

when they picked Glenview.

Now, come on, guys.

Get your heads right.

This neighborhood is

going to need our best tonight.

Evan, some aliens

just set up tents in your store.

What do you want to do about it?

Costco is for members only.

Let's take out that transmitter.

Now we're talking.

All right, Watch, this is it.

Now it gets real.

That's a cute 10-milli Beretta, Bobby.

But I say we make a pit stop

at my house.

Welcome to the candy shop,

motherfuckers.

- Jesus.

- Nice.

Holy sh*t.

Ladies first.

This one looks cute.

Cute and deadly.

Just like me.

'UV

Franklin, what are you doing?

Who are these people?

And what are you doing with these guns?

God damn it, Mom.

Stay the f*** out of my room!

I don't go through your sh*t.

I don't touch your butterflies.

Stay the f*** out.

Everyone out of my room.

Everyone out of my room.

Everyone leave. Everyone out.

Nice to meet you.

It was a pleasure.

I'm sorry, Mama.

I was just trying to impress my friends.

I was trying to be a big man.

I love you.

Stay inside the house tonight, okay?

You're an angel.

Glen view P.D.

This is Sergeant Bressman.

Bressman, it's Evan Trautwig.

Listen to me very carefully.

There is an alien invasion

happening at the Costco.

I know it sounds crazy,

but you have to get down there right now.

An alien invasion, really? At Costco?

Right now? Oh, great, I'm an my way.

Oh, wait, no, I'm not.

I'm stillhere for some reason.

Give me the phone.

Give me the phone.

Bressman, you were right.

Trautwig is the Costco killer.

He's going to take us to Costco

right now and kill us.

You've got to help us.

- He's coming.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- He believed that?

Look.

Oh, my God, that's an alien.

lam looking at an alien.

I know. It can be a total mind-f***.

What do we do?

Bust in the front door, guns blazing?

I love the enthusiasm, Frank-n-Beans...

but I think we're going to need

a different kind of strategy here.

There's only one way

underneath the store.

It's through the drainage grate

in frozen foods.

When we re-built the tire section...

we put shelving over the trash chute,

but we never sealed it off.

Stay behind me.

Let's go.

Pop this b*tch open. I'll cover you.

Let's go, guys. Let's go.

- I can't.

- Shh!

Do you have nails?

Do you have nails?

He's guarding the grate.

Are you guys in position?

In position.

This is exciting.

Okay.

All right, we shoot him on three.

I repeat. Shoot on three.

One.

Two.

Three.

Freeze, Trautwig.

Game over.

- Where did it go?

- I don't know.

You're under arrest for the murder

of Manfred Salisbury...

Antonio Guzman

and that little punk skater kid.

Drop the guns.

You don't understand what's happening.

There's aliens in the store.

Oh, yeah? Aliens? Where?

It was right over there

until you scared it.

Now keep your mouth down.

Oh, aliens who are scared

by the sound of a door opening.

Look out, Earth, you've met your match.

Drop the guns!

We're not going to drop our guns,

because there are aliens here.

Chucho, what's up, buddy?

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