Wedding Present Page #6

I'd like to make.

First, I'm going to be

a tough City Editor.

Why don't you

pound the desk?

How do you expect to be executive

without pounding the desk?

Hey, I think the guy

really means it.

March to the head

of the class.

I wish Rusty were here

to see this. So do I.

Well, come on,

let's get down to business.

Haley, you're off police news.

You go to City Hall.

Jackson, you cover police

headquarters... Wait a minute.

I've been covering police

headquarters for five years.

Yes. You're getting lazy.

Mary Lawson...

Hey, what's the idea?

I was supposed to go

on special interviews!

Oh, you can interview your

head off, in your spare time.

Listen, Mary, you're going to

stop living at the Fenwick Hotel.

Why? Oh, it's just ducky

to get your board free,

but you can't be a reporter

for the Globe Express

and a press agent for a hotel

at the same time.

Do you mean to say

you never did that?

Sure, I did

and I got away with it.

But you don't, not anymore.

Hey, Hank Smith.

Present, Teacher.

Yes, a teacher

is what you need.

Listen, don't use the word

"lengthy" when you mean "long".

Why not?

Because "lengthy" means "long"

and because it's a lengthier word,

and because we're not gonna have

any more stuffed shirt language

in the Globe Express.

That's all now.

No, that isn't all.

Go on, say it.

Why, you...

Oh, never mind. I'll send you a

picture post card from New York.

I'm resigning!

Right. Any more resignations?

What do you think you're reporting,

a fashion show or a murder?

I don't expect you

to use brains,

but what's the matter

with your legs?

Hey, what's the idea?

Rusty! Oh, this is great.

Honey, you must think I'm a

heel for not calling you but...

Mary Lawson told me

you were dead

and they were using your

corpse for a City Editor.

I came to pay my respects.

Oh, that dame.

Gee, you don't know how happy I

am to see you, but I've been busy.

Busy being a super Stagg?

Well, you'll be proud

of me yet, Rusty.

I've grown up,

straightened out.

Yeah, into a pretzel.

Hello!

Oh, the jury's out, is it?

I knew that five minutes ago.

Look, I'm not asking you

to neglect your poker,

but give a little of your spare

time to the Globe Express, will you?

I've found myself, Rusty.

In what ash can?

Now, please,

can't we talk later?

A big murder just broke and that sap

Wheeler can't get the coroner to talk.

Take it over yourself,

will you?

Hiya, Rusty.

Hello, Ray.

Kennedy, why don't you listen

next time I give orders?

I asked for facts,

not editorial opinions!

Have you forgotten

that these are your pals

who used to play

"follow the leader"

when you were

on that side of the fence?

Only doing my job.

What's happened to you?

If the gong began ringing right

now for a three-alarm fire,

would you answer it?

That's what

I have reporters for.

The guy who used to want to

go himself was Charlie Mason.

Get that story.

We'll talk later.

Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

Immediately, sir.

You still with me?

Sure.

And you'll be with us

when we're all fired.

Oh, I can't believe it yet,

not Charlie.

But take it from me,

there won't be any firing

not with the sense of humor

Charlie has.

You mean, used to have.

This'll bring it back.

I tell you, it'll bring back the

Charlie Mason we used to know.

Bring back

Bring back

Bring back my Charlie to me

We came as soon as we got

your message, Miss Rusty.

Good. How'd you like to make

For you and 10 bucks,

we'll do anything.

Thanks. First, you go down to

the barber shop on the corner

and come back

without your mustaches.

Without a mustache,

my wife wouldn't know me.

Good.

Then Charlie Mason won't.

Without a hat, yes. Without a

coat, yes. Without pants, yes.

Without a mustache, no.

For me and 10 bucks?

And two bucks extra?

Miss Rusty, in 20 minutes we'll return

and lay our mustaches at your feet.

Come on, Herman.

Hey, boy, wait a minute.

How would you like

to be in on this?

Go on. I'm not gonna

shave this mustache off.

You don't have to. How

much do you make in a week?

Twelve bucks.

I'll give you that for a day,

and for 12 bucks, you can

buy lots of hair tonic.

Listen.

Boy!

Boy!

Hey, cut that out. This isn't amateur

night, and I'm not Major Bowes!

Take that stuff

to the composing room!

The composing room?

Oh, yes, the composing room.

I know where it is.

How long have you been here?

Not very long.

No, you won't be!

Hey! Hey!

I think you'd better

have a look at this.

It just came

over the City News.

What is it?

"The name of Charles Mason, City

Editor of the Globe Express... "

..."position of manager

of the Old Ladies' Home. "

What the...

What'll we do about it?

I'll find out

who's responsible for this.

Hey, what are you doing?

We got to paint the office.

Listen, I'm getting out

a paper here. Who sent you?

We got our orders.

Hey, kill it.

Mr. Van Dorn. What? He's out

of town? Well, where is...

Hey! Hey!

Say, haven't I seen you

somewhere before?

Maybe yes.

In our trade we get around.

Well, you'd better start

getting around right now.

Mr. Mason, we just ran off a

proof for the bulldog edition.

About time. Let me see it.

But, Mr. Mason, isn't this

a little irregular? What?

"Great City Editor

tells how he did it!"

"Clean living and discipline are

the secrets," says Charlie Mason.

Hey, get me

the composing room! Quick!

Hey, Murphy,

you gone raving mad?

Who authorized

that story about me?

What? It had my okay on it?

Oh, when I find the half-wit who did

that, there won't be enough left of him

to hold an inquest on! Well,

don't argue with me! Kill it!

Hey, boy.

What's the matter... Boy!

Say, you,

come back here. Come here.

Did you take a story about me

up to the composing room?

I don't know.

I didn't read it.

Oh, then you did take one up,

one you didn't get from that tray.

Who gave it to you?

I don't know his name.

Didn't anybody tell you I was the

only one who gave orders in this room?

Oh, keep your shirt on.

Oh, I see.

What's your salary?

$12, but...

But what?

Skip it.

What's your name?

Smith. Sammy Smith.

Oh.

Hello.

Give me the cashier's office.

Mason speaking. Listen, I'm sending

up a boy by the name of Smith!

Give him $12

and get him out of here!

No, not tomorrow, today!

Right away! Now!

Thanks, Mr. Mason.

Get out of here.

Hey, are you through?

I think so.

I've finished, too.

This is the best I can do.

Yeah.

Go on, get out of here.

All right, you guys.

Come on, come on, come on.

There's somebody in this room

who thinks his neck would

look better in two pieces.

Will he please step forward

and take a bow?

Ist das nicht

a City Editor?

Looking like an angry creditor

Ist das nicht a big disgrace?

Rusty.

Ist das nicht a sour face?

Yes,

this is a big disgrace

Yes, this is a sour face

Don't make me fire you.

Ist das nicht a super Stagg?

City Editor of the rag

Super, super, super Stagg

City Editor of the rag

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes