Wedding Present Page #8

I'll meet you later

at Jake's Cafe on 74th.

Go away. Go away.

Okay, Squinty.

Oh, Rusty Stick your

head out of the window

I have come from afar

And I've got a job on the Star

Oh, we will spend

those happy hours

Oh, Rusty

Did you get my flowers?

That Dodacker guy

Is not for you

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh...

Squinty, that's a good sign!

She loves me.

Hey, Lawson.

What's the idea

of throwing the water?

What'd you expect me to throw?

Perfume?

I guess I had it coming to me at

that. Shake and call it square, huh?

Waiting for something?

Where's Rusty?

Out.

Then I'm waiting for Rusty.

You're wasting your time.

You remind me of a woman

I once saw in a play.

She was knitting in front of some

kind of machine, I forget what.

Rusty's going to be married

to Roger Dodacker.

I remember now!

It was the guillotine.

You're wasting your time.

You said that before.

Rusty's engaged.

You don't seem to believe it!

Sure, I believe it. Rusty'd

do anything for a laugh.

Here we are, dear.

Wait for me, driver.

Good night, Roger.

Thanks for a grand evening.

So glad you enjoyed it.

Good night, darling.

Good night.

I'm so happy

I could kiss you.

You're wasting your time.

I know that, but I gotta

kill time until Rusty comes.

You've come back here

to spoil Rusty's life again,

but I'm not going to

let you, you,

City Editor.

When you say that, smile!

Anyway, I'd rather be

a City Editor than...

Is this a private discussion,

or may I get in it?

Rusty. He's been trying

to bully me all evening.

Listening to her, you'd

think... Listening?

You haven't done

any listening.

Go on with your knitting

and leave us alone.

This isn't the Globe Express.

You can't do your bullying here.

That's right, I'm a bully.

I spend all my time bullying

helpless women. I'm not a gentleman.

I guess

I'm just not a Dodacker.

Right.

Oh, gee, Rusty,

I was hoping for once we were going

to be able to understand each other.

She understands you too well.

I've got to talk to you,

Rusty. Give a guy a chance.

Come on, out in the hall.

Sit down.

Oh, still being executive,

huh?

Sit down, I tell you,

and listen to me.

Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

Proceed.

Do you have to be sarcastic?

I'm only obeying orders.

Any more orders

for the evening, Mr. Mason?

Yes, plenty.

You're going to marry me.

Archie was right, Rusty.

We need each other.

I need you like I need

a crick in the neck.

You need me like you need a swift

kick and you need that badly.

Rusty!

Oh, Rusty, I didn't mean it.

Glass of milk.

Can't drink. Got ulsters.

Glass of water.

Hey, put them pretzels down.

Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

Oh, that's that.

I wanted to tell her I was all

washed up with that City Editor stuff,

and that I landed a job on the

Star just to be near her and...

Oh, what's the use?

I said all the wrong things.

All of them?

Yeah.

You know why I came here?

You see that brown stone house

across the street?

It's where

that Dodacker egg lives.

I've been studying the layout.

Nothing doing, Smiles.

No rough stuff.

Who's talking rough stuff?

One little conk on the head,

that's all the guy'll need.

I said nothing doing.

All right, forget it.

I got a better idea.

Where's Squinty?

Where is that dope, anyway?

You wait here.

I gotta find Squinty.

Get up, you dope.

We got things to do.

Hey?

What do you think you're

doing? He's a friend of mine.

Do you always engrave your

invitation on a guy's head?

He got tough.

If you think he's tough, you

ought to see the dame in there.

She kicked Rabbit

right in the bread basket,

and she almost chewed off

Squinty's ear.

It's a good thing you're

taking her off my hands.

Who? What do you mean?

The little dame, Rusty.

What?

I fixed it for you.

This bird here.

Simmons is the name, sir.

Simmy here

is a justice of the peace,

and he's got a marriage

license right in his pocket.

I wouldn't do this

for anybody but Smiles.

Here she is, Boss. Been

giving Rabbit a lot of trouble,

but I can handle her.

Sure you can.

So this is your idea

of paying me off,

you crackpot

Hey.

You don't have to pull

that stuff.

What do you care what the dame

thinks? You want her, and here she is.

Rusty, I give you my word...

I know. You have an alibi.

You were in Hackensack all evening

while they were planning this.

Come on. You got the rest

of your lives for scrapping.

Get going, Simmy. Marry them.

What?

You heard me. You're

gonna get married. Relax.

Get away from me,

you little turkey buzzard.

Smiles, it won't stick

unless they say "I do. "

I say they do!

But I...

Break out with that ring

and do your stuff.

All right, all right.

Smiles,

I swallowed it.

He ate it.

Did you see that? He ate it.

Good work, Rusty.

Say, what's the matter

with you?

When you get what you want, you

better take it. That's my rule.

All I want of you is a chance to

meet you in Lake Michigan again.

Come on, Rusty,

let's get out of here.

Yes, by all means, let's.

I figured you for a smart guy

and you're acting dumb.

But I never start anything

I don't finish.

Take them up to my room.

You don't really think

I was in on this?

I'd respect you a lot more if

you'd admit it. Why lie about it?

The dame's talking sense.

Why don't you tell her this was

your idea? She'll love you for it.

I studied psickiology

and I know.

Would you mind going now and

leaving us two love birds alone?

Sure.

There's a bell

over by the bed.

Ring once

if you want something to eat,

twice for valet service, and

three times for a wedding ring.

Rusty, listen to me.

I had nothing to do with this.

But I'm glad it happened.

When I went serious,

you straightened me out,

and I'm going to do

the same for you.

Dodacker is nothing

but your City Desk.

He happens to be the man

I'm going to marry

and I'm going to marry him

tomorrow

if I can get out

of your private jail by then.

Marry him? You couldn't.

Wait a minute.

I have before me a specimen

of the works of Roger Dodacker.

Listen to this.

"To think you can do it

is to know you can do it.

"To know you can do it

is to do it.

"In your body, nature

gave you a perfect machine.

"Keep it oiled with intelligence

and fueled with ambition

"and it will not fail you.

"Success is for those

who will help themselves.

"This world, dear reader, is

run on the cafeteria system. "

You marry that triple bromide?

I'm not marrying his books.

I'm marrying the man.

Can you look me smack in the eyes

and tell me that you love him?

Yes, I can.

Well, say it.

Well, why don't you give me

a chance to prove it?

I will.

Well, did I hear three rings?

Look here, Smiles,

all you care about is

paying me off, is that right?

Right.

Suppose I told you I couldn't stand

the sight of that dame anymore?

Wait a minute.

Quit your stalling.

I'm not stalling.

I thought I was in love

with her but I'm cured.

I never want to see her again.

The guy is cuckoo.

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