Wedgerino Page #2

Now, what size hat are you?

- I don't know.

- He doesn't know.

- What size hat are you?

- Large.

- Medium!

I hate both of you and

you can both shove it.

And I also hate women

because they're tricky,

mean and confusing.

Goodbye.

To be clear, I don't hate everything.

I like reading.

I like spending time with my kid brother,

being a landlord and I

also like my other job

as a boxing promoter.

Now, I'm going back to my apartment

and I don't wanna be bothered again.

You got it?

I just wanna remind you dummies

that rent is two thousand per month.

Not per year, not per

decade, but per month

and I'm gonna need it by

this Thursday or else.

- You know something, Carl?

That was some lip-smacking good lemonade.

- Yeah.

We shoulda sold it at a lemonade stand

instead of drinking it all.

- Yeah, we do need to make some money.

- We could get jobs on Wall Street.

- You can't just get a

job on Wall Street, Carl.

You, at least, need a masters in business

or an uncle who works on Wall Street.

- I know that, Larry.

I was simply just

tossing out a suggestion.

- We need to...

think

bigger.

We don't wanna get jobs

working for somebody else.

- We could form a band.

Did you know bands make

more money from touring

than they do CD sales?

- Actually, I did know that,

but I was thinking more along the lines

of being entrepreneurs.

Starting a small business.

- Or medium business or a large business.

- Now you're thinking bigger.

- We could sell computers.

- How would we get the computers?

- We steal them right off

the truck in broad daylight.

- Pretty sure that idea is

illegal, Carl.

- No masks.

No disguises.

We just walk right up, take the computers

and no one knows a thing.

- You don't think the

people who own the computers

might suspect something?

- Not if we broke into the database

and changed the computer count.

- How would we do something like that?

We don't have that kind of expertise.

- We'd hire a master hacker.

- What would we pay him with?

- Computers.

We could become the largest

computer distributor

on the entire continent, Larry.

- I think you're thinking a

little too big here, Carl.

We need to think bigger...

ish.

- We could start a website.

Like that girl, Nicole,

whose life I saved.

- She did seem successful.

- From what I hear, she's

uncommonly successful.

- No.

Well.

I'll grab her number.

It's ringing.

- Yeah, talk to me.

- Hi, it's Carl.

- Carl.

Carl.

Former NBA star, Karl Malone?

One of the greatest power

forwards of all time?

- Carl, from yesterday.

- Oh, hi Carl from yesterday.

How are you?

Thanks, again, for saving my life.

- You're welcome.

Hey, I was thinking, since you run

an awesome website for a living,

maybe you could help me and

my number one best friend

and awesome roommate, Larry,

start up a website.

We're in a little bit of a bind

and we could use some quick cash.

- Well, first of all, it takes time

to create a profitable website.

- And what's second of all?

- There is no second of all.

- Then why was there a first off all?

- It's unlikely that

you'll make a quick buck

from a website.

It takes time.

It could take a year or more.

- A year?

- Or more.

- What do you think about this idea?

Stealing computers and selling them

for a hundred percent profit.

- Oh Carl, you have such

a playful sense of humor.

I really appreciate you saving my life.

I feel so close to you.

I know you're already spoken for,

but if it doesn't work out,

maybe you'll ask me on a date?

- Maybe in some alternate reality...

- Maybe this, right here,

is an alternate reality

and in our actual reality we

are successful truck drivers

and we don't have to pay rent

because we live in our trucks.

Think about that.

- All I can think about is Nicole.

What if she's the one?

- Don't you think you're

forgetting someone?

- What does Stuffy have

to do with anything?

- I'm talking about your girlfriend.

- Oh, Veronica.

She's gonna be crushed when

I leave her for Nicole.

And as my very best friend,

you have to break the news to her.

- You two have so many

beautiful memories together.

Time at the street fair.

The vacation in Paris.

The road trip.

The night she surprised

you with dinner in bed.

She loves you.

Don't throw that away

for a flash in the pan.

- You're right, Larry.

What was I thinking?

How could I mistake some fleeting

attraction for true love?

Please don't tell Veronica.

- Carl,

I would never.

Well, time for my afternoon shower.

- Great move, Larry.

I'm gonna make a snack of toast and jam.

- That's it!

- What's it?

- I've thought of an idea for a website.

Www.Jam.com,

a site for jam lovers city wide.

a site for jam lovers nationwide?

- Eh.

It's like, we'll cover all sorts of jam.

Raspberry, strawberry.

- Blueberry?

- Now you got it.

- We should spread, pun intended,

the good news.

- Yeah, I think this idea

really is gonna spread.

No pun intended.

- We are jam packed full of ideas.

Pun intended.

- That's a berry good pun.

No pun intended.

- I feel like that pun was intended.

- What the hell do you want?

- Great news, friend.

- I'm not your friend, doy-yoy.

- We figured out a way to make money,

so we'll definitely be able

to pay our rent on time.

- I just want my money.

I don't care how you idiots get it.

Now it's time for my online book club.

I have to go set up my new webcam,

alone!

I don't need no gratitude

That's just my attitude

I don't need no gratitude

That's just my attitude

Three points, oh yeah

Walking down the street

Snapping fingers to

the beat of my own drum

And my life has just begun

'Cause I'm back on the scene

And you know what I mean

I'm dancing in my dreams

'Cause you're right with me

- I'm surprised

the name, Jam.com,

isn't already taken.

- Sweetie, didn't you boys check to see

if the domain name was taken?

- We didn't think of that.

- Well, you should

really check to be sure,

but I'd be really surprised

if it isn't already taken.

- Even if you come up with another name.

- Like, EatingJam.com.

- Yeah, like that.

- You kinda interrupted

my girlfriend there, Carl.

- Now you're interrupting me, Larry.

As I was saying,

even if you do come up with another name...

- Maybe Jam.org's still available.

- You just did it again, Carl.

- I'm trying to think bigger-ish, Larry.

- I would really love

to finish this sentence.

- Go ahead.

- Do not touch my girlfriend.

- Look, even if you come

up with another name

or if the name isn't taken,

how does this idea make a quick buck?

A website about jam?

I assume your primary source of revenue

would be advertising.

It takes time to get advertisers.

- We would also maybe be selling jam.

- Would you be making the jam

or would you be buying it wholesale?

Either way, it's gonna cost money upfront

and you guys can't even make rent.

- That's why we're trying to make money.

- What you guys need is a

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