Wedgerino Page #6

- I'm not ignoring you.

I was just getting a little shut mouth.

- He's been so touchy lately.

- Gee, I wonder why.

Do you wonder why, Stuffy?

No, because you're not stupid.

- No, because he's a stuffed animal.

- Yeah, because you're

afraid of real animals.

- I'm not afraid.

I'm allergic.

- Same difference.

- Not same difference at all, Larry.

- Ready for the big fight, Larry?

- More than ready.

- Doesn't seem like you've

been doing much training.

- You don't know what I do when I'm alone.

- What do you do when you're alone?

- Wouldn't you like to know.

- I'm pretty sure I do know.

- And what is it you think I do?

- The evidence is right

there, on the table.

- What you call evidence,

I call a snack filled of vitamin D,

which builds strong bones.

- A protein shake would be healthier,

but you're not the kind of guy

who cares about your health, are you?

- What's that supposed to mean?

- It means what it means.

- What's "it means what it

means" supposed to mean?

- It means what it means.

What it means, what it

means, what it means,

what it means.

- It means nothing.

- What it means.

- Means nothing.

- What it means.

- Means nothing.

- Means, means,

- Means nothing.

- Means, means!

- Nothing!

- I'm gonna fix myself a protein shake

to help replenish my system.

- Good idea, Carl.

- You want one, Larry?

- No thanks, I already have a drink.

Coffee.

- Coffee at this hour.

You'll be up all night, Larry.

- So what, I do my best

thinking after midnight.

- You know, you should take

a page out of Carl's book

and replenish your system

with a protein shake.

Carl's been working hard.

He's the first guy in

the gym every morning.

The last guy to go home.

- So what, so am I.

- I've never seen him there.

- I'm going for a walk.

- Larry.

Wait.

If you're going out, can

you pick up my dry cleaning?

I'm staying at Johnny's tonight.

You can just hang the D.C. in my room,

whenever you get back.

Awesome, thanks pal.

I'll reimburse you.

I'm not afraid of animals.

- Your are afraid of animals.

- Hey man, let me get a dollar.

Trying to get a bite to eat.

Trying to catch a bus.

- I feel like I've lost my best friend.

All he cares about, these

days, is training with Johnny.

Carl's being such a jerk.

- Carl is being a jerk.

What about you, Larry?

When you started off by saying

you felt like you lost your best friend,

I thought you were talking about me,

but no, you were talking about Carl.

- Carl is my best friend

and you're my girlfriend.

- You don't care about me.

We haven't seen each other in forever.

You're not even standing next to me.

- I've been training for my boxing match.

- From what I hear, you

haven't been training at all.

- Training is 95 percent mental.

- Look, Larry,

I love you, but I'm

allowed to be mad at you.

- I don't understand why you're mad.

I'm just trying to earn

money to pay the rent.

I don't wanna wind up

like some street punk

asking for a dollar to get

some food or catch the bus.

- I'm sleepy.

I'm going to take a snooze.

- I was just in the back, taking a snooze.

Let me give you some advice, Larry.

A woman likes to feel understood.

You're not being very understanding.

- I appreciate your attempt

to moderate our discussion,

and it is a discussion, not an argument,

but I don't think you're helping.

In fact, I think you're biased.

I'm sorry, I'm just upset

about this whole Carl thing.

You guys are coming to

the boxing match, right?

- I guess you'll just

have to wait and see.

- Yeah, Larry, after not

talking to me for three days,

suddenly you care if I

come to your boxing match.

- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to tonight's boxing match.

Before we get to tonight's main event,

D Properties is proud to

present the undercard.

Introducing first, out of the red corner,

this man holds a

professional boxing record

of zero and zero,

Larry.

And in the blue corner, with

a professional boxing record

of zero and zero,

Carl.

I'd like to add that I hope

to become close friends

with both boxers after tonight's fight.

- All right, keep it clean in here.

Nothing below the belt.

- Or above the shoulders.

- Above the shoulders is okay.

Just tap it out.

- Remember what we talked about.

Come out strong.

- Ow!

What was that for?

- A massive right from Carl.

- I'm trying to box you, Larry.

- We don't have to box each other.

We get paid either way.

- I know that, but I figured

if we are gonna fight,

we might as well do a good job.

- You know, I didn't realize

it was worth it to you

to hurt your best friend

in order to be good at a sport

you never even cared about

until three days ago.

- Both boxers playing the waiting game.

- I guess, now that

Jonny's in the picture,

I'm no longer your best friend.

- Fight, you idiots!

- Larry, you know that's not true.

- Sure feels that way.

You slept at his house last night.

You guys are basically roommates now.

- And I'd have to give that round to Carl

for landing every single

one of his punches.

Or should I say, every

single one of his punch?

- How was that, Carl?

You came out strong, like we talked about,

but you didn't follow through at all.

You gotta pounce.

You understand?

- It's the start of the second round

and Larry looks like he's got

a hankering for hydration.

Carl, removing his mouthguard.

- Where's your mouthguard, Larry?

- An unorthodox

move by the non veteran.

- I forgot to get one.

- Do something all ready.

- Also, I didn't think

you'd be punching me

in the side of the head.

- Boo!

- You look parched.

Did you even bring a water bottle?

- I thought there'd be a water fountain.

- In the corner of the ring?

Come on, Larry.

- Sorry, I'm not a

professional boxer like you.

So excuse me if I don't know

the exact layout of a boxing ring.

- Do something!

- Come on, let's get you rehydrated.

- When's the real fight start?

- Larry, here, is parched and

could use a squirt of water.

- You guys need to fight, all right?

That was the agreement.

You can't just stand there,

talking to each other.

Put that glove back on, Larry.

- I'd appreciate it if you gave

my T.B.F. a squirt of water.

T.B.F. stands for "thirsty best friend."

- T.F.B.F., "thirsty former best friend."

- Take it back, Larry.

- No.

- Take it back, immediately.

- No.

- The fight has slowed to a crawl.

Both men illustrating the old adage

that boxing is all about patience.

- Carl!

- Larry!

- Hey, Stuffy!

- Hello.

- Hey, who needs him?

He doesn't appreciate you.

Not like I do.

Now go in there and knock his ass out.

- Boo!

- I've been thinking a lot, Carl,

I miss you.

Miss hanging out.

Wow, sure is toasty in here.

- You probably have a fever.

- Break it up.

- I'm sorry my friendship

with Johnny made you jealous.

I just got excited with

someone new and different.

I got carried away.

Will you take me back as

your number one best friend?

- Of course I will.

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