Wedgerino Page #5

to be your personal trainer.

- I don't know, Johnny.

- Carl, boxing is a business.

You have to train properly

if you wanna beat Larry.

- Yeah, but I don't wanna...

- Carl, you might even

have a career as a boxer.

And if you and I train together,

it might be an excellent opportunity

for us to become extremely close.

- I agree with you.

We could become very close

if I allow you to train me,

but I don't wanna upset Larry.

He is my number one best friend

and he's already on edge

about things between us.

- Where is Larry?

Right, he's eating ice cream.

- Okay, I'll allow you to train me,

but with one stipulation.

Larry remains my number one best friend.

- Understood.

- Great training sesh.

- It sure was, Johnny.

Thanks man.

Whoa, Larry.

What's up, man?

I just had a great training sesh.

I thought you'd be asleep by now.

- It's tough to fall asleep when you eat

an entire tub of ice cream by yourself.

- Yeah, all that sugar will

definitely keep you up at night.

Speaking of which,

you sure have been a big

fan of ice cream lately.

- Well, my best friend ditched

me for his new best friend

and my pet doesn't even have a brain,

so ice cream seemed like a pretty decent...

- I gotta rinse off, man.

I just had a great

training sesh with Johnny.

- You're not even listening to me, Carl.

- I promise you, Larry, I

am listening to you, buddy,

but I gotta rinse off.

It was a great training sesh.

The best training sesh.

Just give me two seconds.

I'll come back, I promise.

Let me just power down.

Be right back.

- I don't understand why you need to get

an arm full of tattoos.

- Well, first of all, when

you cover your arm in tattoos,

it's called a sleeve.

Not an arm full of tattoos.

And secondly, even though

we're best friends,

I still wanna look tough

for our boxing match.

- To impress Johnny?

- Not just to impress Johnny,

but to be beige in general.

- Beige.

What're you even gonna

get to fill up your arm?

I mean, you could get some

sort of fireworks display.

- There's no way that

the magic of fireworks

can be conveyed on an arm.

You'd need, at least, an entire back.

This might be totally random,

but I could see, someday,

getting a companion back piece.

- That's not random at all, Carl.

It's completely on topic.

- Enough chitchat, Larry.

It's tattoo time.

Come on!

- What?

- What?

- You, bonehead, come on.

I don't have all day.

What do you want?

- I'm here to receive a sleeve.

An arm full of tattoos.

- Okay, have you ever

been tattooed before?

- Nope, this is my first.

I'm Carl and that's my

very best friend, Larry.

He's here for moral support.

- Well, my name is Skulls.

I'm 31 years young and I run this joint.

I inherited it from my

old man when he kicked,

back when I was some

young twenty-something

year old stupid punk.

Tattoos have become more mainstream, Carl,

and I don't like it.

Used to be, people used to just get

their eyebrows pierced and call it a day,

but I'm not one to turn

away any business, am I?

Got a kid to feed and bills to pay,

just like everybody else.

- I hear that.

- But I gotta ask you, full sleeve, huh?

Why don't you start

with something smaller?

- No, that's okay.

I think I'm gonna go with the sleeve

and you could draw whatever you want.

A dragon, maybe a Japanese saying,

maybe a sexy woman in a

bikini or fire hydrant.

I just wanna look tough, like you.

- I earned these tats.

They reflect my inner being.

Seriously, Carl, this is a big decision.

Tattoos are forever, man.

- Like friendship.

- No, not necessarily like friendship.

- How do you mean?

- Friendship tends to change.

It can shift, right?

Okay, when I was in college,

my best friend, her name was Charlene.

We called her Charlie.

We were really tight.

We used to smoke weed everyday.

She was my roommate.

One time, this stupid

frat guy made up a rumor

that we were dykes, so we

totally kicked his ass.

That was a trip, actually.

But then, Charlene just

turned into this mega b*tch

and things just weren't

the same after that.

I haven't spoken with

her in over ten years.

- That is a really heart-wrenching story.

I'd love to hear her side of it.

Girl relationships are really different

than guy relationships.

So I'm certain that what happened to you

would never happen to Larry and me.

- Actually, Skulls, Carl

is somewhat mistaken.

He and I have begun to grow apart,

ever since he started

spending a lot of time

with a mysterious badass named Johnny.

- Is Johnny coming?

- Okay, see, this is what

I'm talking about, right?

Friendships are not forever,

necessarily, but tattoos are.

Yes, technically Carl,

you can get them lasered

off, but it causes...

- Cool.

- Focus, Carl, Jesus.

Do you want a full sleeve or not, man?

Come on.

- Well, I'm a little less certain

than when I first entered your parlor,

but yeah, I want the sleeve

and put it on my right arm

because I'm a righty.

And, you know what, I'll take whatever

this crisp ten dollar bill will get me.

- Can I speak with you for a moment, Carl?

- Go for it.

- In private.

You don't need an arm full of tattoos.

- A sleeve.

- You know what, Carl?

I've had it with you.

- So, are we gonna hang

at your house later?

- Sure.

- Okay, we should get some beer.

Oh my god, there's that guy.

- He's looking over here.

- Should I go talk to him?

I'll catch you guys later.

Nice bike.

You got a ciggy?

- I don't smoke.

- That's surprising.

You look like a smoker.

- Go buy yourself a pack, on me.

My name's Johnny.

- Thanks, Johnny.

You're a true gentleman.

I'm Lisa.

People call me 'Sa, for short.

- Is that spelled, apostrophe "Sa?"

- Yeah.

- Hey Johnny.

I almost ordered a pizza

for lunch, but I resisted.

I had a protein shake instead.

- Beige.

Let's go train.

- I love pipping hot pizza.

- So do I, Carl.

So do I.

Gotta stretch out these

limbs, Carl, all right?

It's the only way for you to stay limber.

It'll help you move

around quick in the ring

and when you see an opening,

you pop Larry right in the jaw.

- Actually, Larry and I have an agreement.

Nothing above the shoulders

and nothing below the upper stomach.

- So what, you're just gonna stand there

and punch each other in the chest?

- Or the hand.

- You're not gonna punch

him in the hand, Carl.

Boxing is a sport.

Okay, Larry will understand

that when you're in the ring.

You know, it's his fault

if he wants to loaf around

all day eating ice cream.

You're working hard.

You're out here training.

You're eating complex carbohydrates.

We both want pizza right now, right?

We're not eating it.

We're eating this wholegrain bread.

- Johnny, I appreciate you taking the time

and teaching me a few tricks of the trade

and I feel like we're

becoming very close friends.

- Maybe even best friends.

- Maybe.

- Yo, Larry.

Larry, what's up?

Another great training sesh.

Oh, he's ignoring us.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes