Weekend Page #3

Mm-hm.

- It's for an art project, yeah?

- Yeah.

So is that what you want to

be, you want to be an artist?

Kind of.

So, and you really

don't have to tell me,

how is your tape art project

just going to be an art project

and not people talking dirty?

You think talking

about sex is dirty?

You know what I mean.

It's just I'm not sure if...

(Grunts)

...people want to hear about the

random sex life of strangers.

You just don't want people

hearing about your sex life.

That's true.

Imagine if everybody

was just open

about what they did and

that everything was normal.

- Yeah, but people are open, aren't they?

- Are they?

There was this guy

in work today,

I'm just sat there

having my lunch,

and he starts talking about how many

fingers he can put up a girl's fanny.

But was he gay?

- No.

- Well, there you go, then.

You like a lot of

condiments, don't you?

I love my condiments.

Gay people never talk

about it in public

unless it's just cheap innuendo.

I think it's cos

they're ashamed.

Maybe it's just they're a

little bit embarrassed.

Isn't that the same thing?

It smells of spunk.

(Glen) Anyway, that tape thing

isn't really about sex at all.

(Russell) Really?

But I know what artists sound like

when they talk about their work,

so I'm not going to sit

and sound like a c*nt.

Well, it's a good job you're not

an artist yet, then, isn't it?

Ooh, very funny!

Come on, tell me.

I'm interested.

All right.

Well, you know what it's like when you

first sleep with someone you don't know?

Yeah.

It's... You, like,

become this blank canvas

and it gives you an opportunity to project

onto that canvas who you want to be.

And that's what's interesting,

because everybody does it.

- So, do you think that I did it?

- Course you did.

Well, what happens is,

while you're projecting

who you want to be,

this gap opens up between

who you want to be

and who you really are,

and in that gap, it shows you

what's stopping you becoming

who you want to be.

And all of this from

talking about sex?

All of that from

talking about sex.

Interesting.

I like it.

I'm not sure that I totally

understand what you're saying, but...

Yeah, all this sounds better in my

head, I don't think I've explained...

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm interested.

I'm really interested.

So what are you gonna do?

- Are you just gonna play the recordings out loud...

- I don't know, I don't know.

The problem is that no one's gonna come

and see it, because it's about gay sex.

So the gays will only come because they

want a glimpse of a cock and they'll be...

And the straights won't come because, well,

it's got nothing to do with their world.

They'll go and see pictures of

refugees or murder or rape,

but gay sex? F*** off.

(Chuckles)

F*** it.

Doesn't matter, does it?

I'd come.

- No, you wouldn't.

- Yeah, I would.

OK, maybe I...

Maybe I wouldn't come.

Make sure you put your

thumb over the hole.

- Do you want me to light it for you?

- Yeah.

Tuck in.

Here, do it again.

That's it.

Are you out to your parents?

Are you out to your parents?

You don't look like the kind of boy who would be.

Well...

- Well what?

- It's complicated.

It's not complicated,

you just have to do it.

I came out to mine

on Mother's Day.

- How old were you?

- Sixteen.

- Did they freak out?

- No.

I told them nature or nurture,

it's your fault, so get over it.

Good answer.

- I would, but...

- But what?

I don't really know my parents.

Actually, I don't know

who they are at all.

That's interesting.

It's fine.

So what happened?

Well, erm...

I moved around in foster

homes until I was about 16.

Mm-hm. F***.

I met my best mate there,

Jamie, when we were 12.

Er, yeah, it was nice, we

just went around as a pair.

F***ing hell. What was it like?

What?

Being in care.

It was fine.

I mean, I wasn't abused or anything.

Shame.

You should have got a refund.

- So, does... does he know about you?

- Who?

- Jamie.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm like his

brother, really.

Everyone knows about

me in my friends.

The close ones anyway.

What?

Is it really wrong that I'm finding the whole...

orphan thing pretty sexy?

(Glen laughs)

Oh, my God.

What's wrong with you?

(Laughs) Sorry, I

think it's the weed!

Are you serious...

Are you laughing at my childhood tragedy?

I just got an image of you as

Oliver with Mr Bumble! (Laughs)

Oh, f***ing hell.

- I'm a bad person.

- Yeah, you are.

- I'm a terrible c*nt. (Laughs)

- You're a terrible c*nt.

So, do you live with

Gill all the time?

Er, yeah, she's my flatmate.

She's all right, she

keeps out the way.

- I quite liked her.

- Yeah, she's a good girl.

Well, thank you for

this afternoon.

(Glen) Er, thank you.

Erm, so I'll give

you a call later.

- OK.

- OK.

I will.

Bye.

(Knocking on door)

- All right?

- Hello again. Look...

there's something I

didn't tell you.

Have you got a boyfriend?

No, I don't have a boyfriend,

I don't do boyfriends. Erm...

I'm going away tomorrow.

- Cool, where are you going?

- Portland. It's in Oregon.

Very nice.

How long are you going for?

About two years, I

think, maybe more.

Oh, I thought you meant, like,

for a holiday or something.

No, I'm doing a course. Erm...

"Contemporary Perspectives of

Modern Art in the 21st Century."

So you're doing an art course.

- Glen, that's... that's really great.

- I should have said something.

No.

It's fine. It's... It's great.

Honestly, you...

you didn't have to tell me.

Honestly - an art course.

You...

You get to be a proper c*nt now.

(Glen laughs)

I've told you now,

so I'm gonna go.

Hey, erm, what are you doing tonight?

Cos I'm having some drinks with some friends

and it would be pretty

cool if you came along,

but it's up to you, cos I don't wanna

kind of put pressure on you or anything,

so I'll send you a

text or something

and then you can

come or not come

and it's up to you, it doesn't

matter either way, OK?

All right, all right, all right.

(Water running)

(Phone buzzing)

- All right? (Jamie) All right?

- How you doing?

- Yeah, not too bad, yeah. You all right?

Look, Cathy's gone up town with

Lois - do you want to come round?

- Are you up to anything?

- Has she? Erm...

I might have plans

later, actually.

Oh. All right. Well...

Erm, going out, party, I think.

- OK, what, like a work thing?

- No.

Er, no, I've actually...

I met somebody. Someone I met.

- Oh, right, oh, nice one!

- Yeah.

When did you meet them?

Er, I met him last night at Propaganda.

It's a gay bar.

You said you were going

home when you left.

Mmm, yeah, sorry, mate.

I was going home, but I was just

on the bus and I was thinking,

so I just...

I changed my mind, so, sorry.

No, that's all right.

What's his name, then?

- Glen.

- Glen?

Well, look, why don't

you bring him tomorrow?

(Laughs) No. No way.

Go on, it'll be fine!

- No.

- What's the problem?

- OK.

- Well, it's up to you, whatever.

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