Weirdsville Page #6

What are you doing here?

I don't--

I don't know.

What are we doing--

We gotta get out of here.

Okay, okay.

Be still!

Get your hands off me, b*tch!

Safety first!

Unlock the door!

Safety first--

Oh, boy!

Oh, God.

Move, move, move, move!

Go, go, go!

Take it where?

Turn where?

There! There!

Fine!

Lock your doors!

Go!

Very special.

Angels.

What?

Angels!

I'm going to die!

No, no, no!

Not the car!

No insurance!

Oh! Stop it!

Give them some candy!

Oh, f***!

Sh*t.

How am I going to fix that?

I'm going to kill them!

I'm going to kill them!

Not so bad now, are you,

Moonie motherf***er?

Grow up!

This is not--

Whatever!

Get out of the car.

I'm not getting

out of the car!

Be strong!

Run!

Ah!

Ow.|

One little Satanic ritual.

Is that too much to ask?

Well done, boys.

Double doubles on me.

Woo, yeah!

Rock, rock, rock, rock

We're gonna rock, rock--

We f***ing rock

We rock

We f***ing rock

The lights are on, man.

Oh, Matilda,

she must be up.

She must be up.

Matilda's up.

Sh*t!

What?

What the f***

is he doing here?

Would you get

the f*** down?

Do you think he--

Shh!

You shhh!

Shh!

Shut the f*** up, man.

You shut the f*** up.

Why would you do that?

I don't know.

Now what?

I got an idea.

What?

What is that?

Liquid morphine.

Where'd you get

liquid morphine?

From my dentist.

This sh*t'll make him talk.

Some CIA sh*t.

You have a dentist?

What is he, dead?

I don't know.

Wanna wake him up?

Hello?

Hey!

Hi.

I used to be like you guys

before I met Abel.

Off drugs and into religion.

Fun trade.

With Satan you kill others,

not yourself.

You don't feel like killing

anyone else now though, do you?

No.

So where's Mattie?

Mattie...

The New Age Center.

Where are you going?

Nowhere, obviously.

You're not giving up.

What's the point?

Lucifer is supposed

to be helping us,

not plaguing us

with midgets and junkies.

Fine.

What is the point?

What are we trying to prove?

Who cares what some

old hippie thinks of us?

I mean, you obviously

don't anymore.

It all started with him.

It started... with him.

Abel got into trouble

when he was 16.

He was sent to a youth camp

run by Jason Taylor.

And then he gave him a book.

Collected Works

of Aleister Crowley.

After that,

Abel read everything

he'd get his hands on.

Malleus Maleficarum.

The Lesser Key of Solomon.

LaVey's Satanic Bible.

That's a good one.

Abel burned with desire

for arcane knowledge.

And I began to see

patterns, truths...

All leading

to the same place...

The very heart of Satan.

If it wasn't for him,

he wouldn't be

where he is today.

He made you what you were

without even knowing it.

When this is done...

The circle

will be complete.

The circle will be complete.

Abel's going to awaken

Jason Taylor from his coma

by feeding him

the blood of the girl.

That is the stupidest

f***ing thing I ever heard.

And that includes everything

this guy ever said.

Yeah!

Won't seem stupid

when it works.

Yeah?

We've lost the girl.

She wandered into

the warehouse district.

Were those knights?

They were angels.

And who were

those other guys?

They were demons.

I saw them in hell.

Oh, of course.

Oh... come on.

Come on.

Oh, my head is killing me.

Look... l-let's go back

to my uncle's place

and get freaky.

I can't.

I got a big bunch of weed

and 50 bucks!

What more could you want?

I don't do that anymore.

Since when?

Since I spoke to God,

Jeremy.

And he specifically said,

"Do not have sex

with Jeremy anymore?"

Jeremy, I'm serious.

I have a purpose, okay?

I'm not really sure

what it is yet,

but I'm not going

to ever know

if I'm whoring around

for drug money.

Yeah, well, you suck.

Tss, not anymore I don't.

You broke both his legs?

I-- I thought you...

I-- I broke both his legs.

F***. Good.

No, I thought you would

break one leg.

But if you're going

to break two, you know,

that makes it

harder to walk.

Well, you were so upset

about the first time.

Well, yeah.

I mean, you know.

You can't, you know...

I figure I'd make up for it

by breaking both legs.

Well, there's that--

now he's learned his lesson.

Otherwise he's going

to walk around like this.

Hello. Hello.

My name is Sam.

I don't have

any f***ing thumbs.

You know?

Listen, Mattie,

I want to thank you

for all the stuff

we've done together.

It really...

boosted my confidence,

you know?

It makes me feel

like a man.

That-- That means

something to me.

I want you to know that

I think of you as, like...

a teacher.

Thanks, Jeremy.

That's really sweet.

So how about

one last time, hmm?

Ow! Jeremy!

Hey, you! You!

No fighting!

What?

You're outta here.

But-- But I didn't

do nothin'!

Ow!

Please, sir,

you can't just--

just leave me outside

all by myself!

Please!

Oh, God, how did we--

how did we that?

Where have you guys been?

Oh, never mind.

How are you?

Do you have

that combo... on you?

Do you remember that?

Let's check the bar.

Come on.

Mattie, please!

No!

We just need the combo.

No!

Come on, Mattie.

Come on, Matilda,

just give us the combo!

Please!

No.

Why not?

Please?

I'm a different person now.

Stealing's an easy way out.

Yeah, but you see--

you see, the hard way out

is-- is Omar killing us.

Omar's not going

to kill you.

He's a p*ssy... cat!

Well, I really--

I really, you know--

I don't want test

that theory, Mattie.

Please.

Yeah.

One condition.

Anything!

Anything.

You guys quit.

Both of you guys!

Well, he already did.

Sorta.

Dexter, you really quit?

When did you quit?

I quit, like,

about a week ago.

That's so good!

Don't you feel so good?

I feel pretty good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Because I was

telling Jeremy,

like, we can't live

our lives like this.

You know, there's--

Oh, Jeremy, Jeremy?

Yeah, who's Jeremy?

Jeremy.

Jason Taylor's Jeremy?

Yeah, he was in the car

when the angels rescued us.

Ah, she was the freaky chick

he was telling me!

You were turning tricks

with that little bastard?

Not anymore.|

You're saying

"not anymore!"

That's how much

he paid you?

It's the combo, shithead.|

That's the combo?

Yes.

Oh, you're so good.

Thank you!

God! And to think

we almost buried you tonight.

What?

What the--

I mean...

You guys what almost me?

Arggh!

Why would you do that?

God!

I mean...

I don't know why

you'd say that.

I mean, she gave us the combo

and then you said we--

we were going

to bury her tonight.

I mean I just think

that's really--

That just shows lack

of intelligence on your part.

I just don't understand why

you'd do that sort of thing.

Hey!

Guys?

Oh, sh*t!|

Yah!

Is that enough to kill them?

It's enough to kill a horse.

Okay, let's go find

these losers and, uh...

give the hospital

some business.

What if they're just late?

You sure you don't

want to wait?

Oh, Garry, you're a poet

and you don't even know it.

Let me try.

Uh, roses are red,

violets are blue,

don't be a p*ssy

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