Welcome to Mooseport Page #2

I think I'm finally ready.

Where were those towels?

You're ready?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Ready to...?

- To get the new truck.

The big one. No more three trips to

the lumberyard for me. It'll be great.

Dina, false alarm!

I'll take him.

I'm not sensing any enthusiasm.

I'm thrilled about your

new truck. Really.

You know what?

Tonight, after the party thing...

...let's do something to celebrate.

Let's just go out, me and you.

A little romantic dinner.

- Sure.

- Yeah, it'll be great.

Okay. All right.

Dina, say hi to Fred and the kids.

All right. See you later.

Plunger, let's go.

Well, he needs a new truck so he can

load all that crap that he's full of.

There he is!

You look great, sir!

Glad you're here, sir.

- Good to see you, sir.

- Over here.

Right here, Mr. President!

We're happy to have you here, sir!

- Here we are.

- Martha, those look good.

Morris! Morris!

- What?

- He's here.

Al, "Hail to the Chief".

"Hail to the Chief"!

- Fifteen minutes.

- An hour.

- Thirty.

- Forty-five and it's a deal.

Sorry.

Good evening.

I'd like to thank everybody for coming.

Tonight is a very special night

for Mooseport.

In the words of Hunt Langley, who put it

so eloquently in The Moose Call:

"The Eagle has landed!"

- How original.

- On behalf of the town council...

...let's give a big Mooseport welcome

to our newest citizen...

...Monroe "Eagle" Cole!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

As you all know, it's been over a year

since I vacationed up here.

So first off, to the rumor

that I'm only here...

...because I lost my Baltimore house

in my divorce...

...absolutely true.

I am a Mooseport resident.

Even though I didn't get to meet many

of you when I was here as president...

...I certainly hope to...

I certainly would...

...hope to get to know you all

a lot better.

Maybe we could hit a few birdies

or eagles...

...at your local golf links.

Anyway, since I'm not here

to ask for money...

...I don't know what else to say...

...except to thank you so much

for your hospitality...

...and see you around the burg.

Thanks, Mr. President. That was great.

Can some of us talk with you privately?

The president's time is limited. Sorry.

This'll just take a second, sir.

It's kind of urgent.

Certainly.

- Right this way.

- Excuse me.

Mr. President, I'm sorry the timing

isn't better...

...but your arrival has coincided

with something of a crisis.

Folks, I'm The Crisismeister.

Shall I call the Marines?

- Would you care to sit down, please?

- Thank you.

Mr. President, Amos Harmon, our

beloved mayor of 24 years, passed away.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Anyway, sir, the town council met

an hour ago in an emergency session...

...and voted unanimously...

...to beseech you, sir,

to be our mayor.

Your mayor?

Mayor.

That's good.

Yes, sir. You see, before he died...

...Mayor Harmon was running,

as always, unopposed.

And with the filing deadline tomorrow...

...we were having a dilly of a time

finding a replacement.

Then Reuben here pipes up and says,

"Why not get the president?"

I said, "Get the president!"

In our 240-year history there would be

no greater honor bestowed on our town.

To have as our mayor,

the most popular president in history.

- Approval ratings in the 70s.

- Eighties, actually.

- Eighty-five.

- Eighty-five.

Eighty-five. Unbelievable.

Mr. President, you simply must say yes.

Well, folks, even though I'm not in the

Oval Office any longer, I do have plans.

Sally, please. We're in the middle

of something here.

Sorry. I was just...

...getting my coat.

I'll come back.

Hold on a second.

- Sally, is it?

- Yes.

Sally, you seem like

an engaged citizen.

What would you think about

my being mayor?

- Mayor? Really?

- It was my idea!

I think you should do it.

And then maybe you could do

something about that landing situation.

- The landing situation.

- Yeah. I'm a veterinarian...

...and I had a critically ill donkey

in my helicopter this morning...

...and I almost lost her...

...because the president

just had to land first.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize.

Must've been a procedural thing.

- Standard security protocol, sir.

- Standard security.

Maybe if you were mayor

you could do something about that.

Absolutely. Things like that

shouldn't happen.

I appreciate your opinion.

- It's nice to meet you, Mr. President.

- Nice to meet you too, Sally.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Well, Mr. President?

- I'm sorry, gentlemen, it's just...

Hold on a second there, Bullard. Maybe...

Excuse me, Mr. President. I suggest

that we give them an answer tomorrow.

Gentlemen, he'll sleep on it.

Yes, I'll sleep on it.

So we'll hear from you

in the morning, sir?

You have my word.

You have the Eagle's word.

Thank you, Mr. President.

By God, that's just the way

he sounds on TV!

Sorry. Connelly's septic tank

broke again.

Stood up for a septic tank.

No. No, you look good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- What?

- You stink!

- Too much cologne? Yeah?

- No. Did you think about a shower?

Yes, but then I would've been more late.

And I didn't think it was bad.

You know how you can't smell your

own smell? I think that's what it is.

So is this thing over?

It's over for me.

You want to get something to eat?

I'm not hungry. I think I'll go home.

Wait. Come on. Is it that bad?

I'll take a shower.

We can take a shower.

I already took a shower.

Come on, Sally, what's the problem?

I don't know. I'm just...

You know, for the past six years...

Today, when you said you were...

I don't know, Handy. Why don't you

tell me what the problem is.

- I don't have a problem.

- Well, that's the problem.

- Well, what do you...?

- I'll see you tomorrow.

I should have showered.

- Good morning.

- Beautiful, Ramona.

- Today's agenda, ma'am.

- Thank you, John.

Perfect, Smitty.

For God's sake,

save me from Mooseport, Rod.

How about a job at the Pentagon?

Gotta go.

Morning, Mr. President.

Good morning, good morning.

Oh, Smitty, thank you so much.

What's on tap today?

Read the paper.

Finally. Grace, you're wonderful.

Then you can take that jog

you've been wanting to take.

Fabulous.

About that mayor thing...

Don't worry, we'll take care of it.

"While the president is flattered,

he respectfully declines.

- His schedule precludes him... "

- Actually, I'm considering it.

Sir?

Yeah, why not?

Largely ceremonial.

Any work involved, you can do.

We run everything else

we're involved in.

- Why not Mooseport?

- Well, sir...

As your first move out of office

you become mayor?

It's beneath you.

And from a P.R. Standpoint it's...

Fantastic.

"For the love of public service,

Eagle Cole...

...the most beloved president since

Jack Kennedy, agrees to help. " Perfect.

Don't forget the Wicked Witch

of the West Wing.

She can't claim this is a vacation

house if I'm mayor, can she?

True.

Wait until the filing deadline

and then call with the good news.

Yes, sir.

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