Welcome To The Jungle Page #3

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[ Bijou Chuckles ]

So, um, what's this guy's name?

[ Mikey ]

john. He's an American.

[ Colby ] You said he's been flying

in Papua New Guinea for five years?

- [ Mikey ] Yep.

- We need the G.P.S. coordinates

where he saw the old man.

Damn straight.

I want to know where we're going.

[ Sighs ]

- [ Colby ] We're a little late.

- [ Mikey ] Yeah.

- They don't have watches here. Doesn't matter.

- [ Colby ] Is that him there?

- [ Mikey ] I think so.

[ Chuckles ] Look at this guy.

- Hey, Mikey?

- Yeah.

- [ Bijou ] Hi.

- Did you bring a map?

- [ Colby ] You got the map?

- Bijou. Map.

- Yeah.

Go. Ah. Got it.

No.Just you.

[ Colby ]

What did- What did he say?

[ Bijou ]

Said stay here.

Mikey's in his commando mode.

[ Chuckles ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Colby ]

I'm zoomed in pretty good.

- [ Bijou ] Well.

- Short and sweet.

- [ Mandi ] Thank you.

- We're good. We got it.

Coordinates. Everything.

We're solid.

- [ Colby ] It was definitely him?

- Yeah, definitely him.

Right here at this meeting.

The river.

Saw a 7 0-year-old white man.

And we're good. It's legit, man.

- Let's just get back in the car.

We'll sort it out later.

- Give me the map.

Read this.

Okay. ''Papua New Guinea

travel advisory. 4530.''

Okay. Uh, ''Criminals have been known to place

children or other obstructions in the roadway...

''to cause vehicles to stop.

''Once stopped, armed men rob

the occupants and steal the car.

The risk of serious personal injury

during such incidents is very high.''

Why wouldn't we just keep driving

if that happened?

- What would you stop for?

- [ Mandi ] What do you mean?

[ Mikey ] I definitely would be

in agreement with Colby on this one.

- [ Bijou ] Yeah. Well, with that information.

- In the middle of the road.

If there's a kid in the road,

he's getting it.

- How about we cross that kid

when we come to it?

- [ Colby Laughs ]

- [ Mikey ] Poor bastard.

- [ Bijou ] Do you see any bodies?

[ Mandi ]

No.

- Oh, sh*t. There's another one.

- Sh*t.

[ Mikey ]

I'm digging it. I'm digging it.

[ Bijou ] Would you call this

a first world or a second world or a-

[ Colby ] I call it the life expectancy

drops 30 years if you move here.

[ Bijou ]

That guy was holding a gun.

Well, here we are in

not-so-beautiful Port Moresby.

But, uh- [ Chuckles ]

we're making the best of it.

You know, hanging out,

checking out the local sites.

Check it out.

[ Mikey ]

Hey. How about you f*** off?

[ Speaking Foreign Language ]

- [ All Shouting ]

- Mike, Mike, Mike, MikeI

- Come onI MikeI

- Go!

- [ Bijou ] Mikey!

- [ Mikey Shouts ] Go.

- [ Mandi ] OwI

- [ Colby ] Go, go, go.

[ Colby ]

Mike.

What are you, a f***ing idiot?

- Sh*t.

- Oh, my God.

F***in' hell.

Did you know this place is the second most

dangerous place on the planet outside Iraq?

- Yeah.

- Oh,yeah? Say that on the travel advisory, Bijou?

- And it's-Huh? No, no. It's true. It's true.

- It's true.

And it's right on our doorstep.

Let me get this straight.

She wants to run into a village...

and chop off

their sacred chicken's head.

- [ Bijou ] They're not sacred chicken.

- So we can watch it run around.

- Oh, they're not sacred?

- Listen to him. Like he knows.

- Basically, the chickens are sacred because-

- Colby, we're not in India.

- They're not sacred.

- [ Mandi ] That's cows.

Chop the chicken's head off

and eat it.

- [ Mandi ] That would be cows.

- I'll chop the cow's head off.

- [ Snapping Fingers Rhythmically ]

- Audio, video

Stereo

I like fellatio in stereo

Akimbo

Best scenario

So take it slow

Make it grow

Put on a show

Let's do some blow

Navigate it so I become psycho

I'm a nympho with a pretty halo

So grip your chapeau

Bravo

Now take it in your hand and burrow

for instant pleasure stereo

- Can't hang with that. Can't hang with that.

- [ Colby ] Yeah,yeahI

[ Mikey ]

Look at this guy, sleeping on the job.

[ Bijou ]

Slow down. Slow down.

[ Mikey ]

What are you- What are you doing?

- Uh, give me- give me the camera.

- Guy in the road.

- What are you doing? Why are we slowing down?

- [ Bijou ] Gotta be trouble.

- There's a kid in the middle of the road.

- Pass me the travel advisory.

[ Mikey ]

You know what the travel advisory says.

- If there's a kid in the road,

go past or turn around.

- [ Colby ] But we got a mom.

- What are they doing?

- [ Mikey ] Doesn't matter.

They're fine. Go past them.

- [ Bijou ] Just go up that embankment.

just go around them.

- She's not acknowledging us.

[ Mikey ]

This isn't a conversation we're having.

- [ Colby ] Mandi, we cannot be

stopped here.Just go around.

- [ Mikey ] Go around.

- [ Mandi ] I'm not-

- I don't give a sh*t what you do.

- [ Horn Honks ]

- You can run them over.

But f***ing do not stay here.

[ Bijou ]

She's looking pretty- OhI

[ Colby ] What the f***?

They've got guns. Mandi, turn aroundI

- GoI GoI GoI Turn aroundI

- ShitI

- [ Mikey ] They've f***ing got gunsI

- [ Screaming ]

[ Colby ]

Oh, fuckI ShitI GoI GoI GoI MandiI

- [ Bijou ] I think we're hit.

- Come onI Do not stopI

MandiI MandiI Just goI

- [ Mikey ] That was crazy.

- OhI

- That was crazy.

- Whoo! Everybody fine? We okay?

- We just got shot at.

- That's right. That is right.

- Wait. The van's fine? Did it take a hit?

- [ Mandi ] Yeah.

[ Colby ] Sounded like we took

a hit there. We're good?

- [ Mandi ] I think we should check the tires.

- Is it leaking gas? Mandi?

- No. No.

- We're fine?

- We should check-

- We're having words with these two.

- [ Mandi ] ShitI

- [ Colby ] No, no. The tires sound good.

I'm worried about gas, overheating.

Any of that.

- No.

- 'Cause we cannot be on foot yet.

- I'm not stopping right now.

- We're just gonna keep driving, okay?

- Okay. We're good?

- [ Mikey ] No. We-

- [ Colby ] Keep going. Mandi, thank you.

- Yeah. Thank you. Whoa!

- Thank you.

- Keep moving.Just keep moving.

The conversation's not over about stopping.

That is the last time we stop for anything.

- Anything!

- What, uh- You guys, whose bright idea? Stop?

[ Mandi ] Yeah, so you'd have driven through,

get shot at anyway?

- No, no.

- No. You drive through and don't get shot at.

They shoot the people that stop.

They shoot-

- Can you not yell? Can you shut up?

- No, I won't shut up.

That was your two's idea.

The bad idea came from you two.

- Shut the f*** up. All right?

- I'm not gonna shut the f*** up.

- Shut up.

- Hey, hey. This isn't fixing anything.

- Quiet!

- Throw your f***ing ass out of this van.

We just need to chill out, okay?

This is where Michael Rockefeller

was sighted in, I think, 1 988.

There's been countless,

you know, sightings.

And this is just one of the villages

where there's, like, four or five rumors.

It's almost been confirmed

that he was there.

And so this is- this is our best bet.

Here we go.

[ Children Chattering ]

If the kids like you,

the parents have to like you.

[ Speaking Foreign Language ]

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