Welcome To The Jungle Page #5

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I don't know, going to a church?

- I don't know.

- Are you hitting on me?

[ Chuckles ]

Not- Not today. No.

You better watch your wife, buddy.

That's- Oh, I- I do.

- We should hang out.

- Absolutely. You want to

come with us over there?

- I was thinking you could stay in our tent.

- Hmm?

- Your tent.

- You're a good-looking guy.

Uh, call us when you've got it set up.

- Yeah.

- That'd be great.

- Okay?

- Okay.

- [ Colby ] Okay, guys. Thank you.

- Thanks.

- All right. Well, I guess we're gonna take off...

- but, please-

- Good luck. If you need anything-

- Anytime you want to hang out.

- We're about a mile away.

- [ Bijou ] Don't call us. We'll call you.

- Good seeing you.

[ Rich ] That's funny.

Good luck with your documentary.

- [ Bijou, Colby ] Yeah.

- Thank you.

We'll be looking forward

to seeing that. God bless.

- Cheers.

- Bye.

- Whoo!

- Hey!

Make a little toast. Looks like

Mikey already drank a little bit.

[ Mikey ]

Pound it. Give it back to me then.

- Me.

- Ah, that's good.

[ Colby ]

So, the first night.

Uh, we had quite the trials

and tribulations getting here.

Had shots fired. Fire in the hole.

- Shots fired.

- Uh, we logged about 1 5 miles today.

Feeling good. Get up bright

and early tomorrow.

[ Clicks Tongue ]

And we're on the move again.

- Not too early.

- Hey. Pass that here, Mikey.

Let's take it easy tomorrow.

Seriously, let's take it easy tomorrow.

- I'm not up for a full day.

- Hey, we're just getting into a groove here.

Yeah, I know. I know. But-

[ Sighs ]

[ Mikey ] We're not taking

into account the hangover factor.

Which I definitely think

is pretty crucial.

Guys, we're not having a big night.

We're gonna have a few drinks.

Then we're gonna go to bed, and we're gonna

get up and move and do it all over again.

[ Mikey ]

Speak for yourself, buddy. [ Chuckles ]

All right. I'm here repping

the Cannibal Crusaders.

Here to take- make- take a toast-

or make a toast- doesn't really matter-

to another fun evening.

[ Colby ]

All right, guys. Last night was fun.

But, uh, we're going to bed.

Don't stay up too late, okay? 6.:00 a.m.

- Yeah. We'll catch you.

- [ Bijou ] Bright and bushy-tailed.

- We'll catch you at 6:00, bro.

- [ Bijou Chuckles ]

[ Colby ] Hey. The G.P.S. says we've

got 1 2 miles to Rockefeller's river.

The Takreet.

We should be there by nightfall.

[ Bijou ] I'm pretty sure

I shouldn't be doing this, but-

[ Chuckles ]

I'm pretty certain my liver can handle it

after all the, uh-[ Chuckles ]

abuse I've administered to it

over the years.

- [ Birds Chirping ]

- [ Insects Buzzing ]

Oh, f***!

[ Mikey ]

OhI [ Chuckling ]

- Oh.

- [ Groaning ]

- Ouch.

- [ Groans ] Goddamn it.

- Let's see it. Let's see it.

- [ Mandi Gasps ] Ouch!

Yeah. We finally made it

to the Takreet River.

- And we survived the highlands.

- We did.

But will we survive them?

[ Mikey ]

We got it. Yeah!

[ Mandi ]

God, no.

The F*** You Gorilla Squad

has got us here.

- And we will hide from the cannibals.

- Will it cure my ails?

- [ Colby ] Unbelievable.

- [ Mikey ] Hide from the cannibals.

- Ooh!

- [ Colby ] GeezI

- [ Mandi ] Oh, God.

- Cannibals!

All right. So here's the deal.

We're going on six hours

of drinking straight up.

[ Chuckles ]

And I got this creepy little hand

going under my shirt.

[ Chuckles ]

- [ Raspberry ]

- Oh, yeah!

Gi- Gi- Give me that again.

[ Colby ] Okay, guys. The last

two nights were great, but, uh-

- Hey, Daddy-O.

- We're getting up at 6:00 tomorrow.

- [ Chuckles ]

- So don't stay up too late, okay?

- A.m. or p.m.?

- Rock and roll, Colby.

- See, the plan is to drink-

- A.m. or p.m.?

[ Mandi ]

A.m., Bijou. You heard it.

to drink and stay up until they get up.

This is bullshit!

I'm waking them up. I don't care.

Mikey! Bijou!

Get the f*** out of that tent.

We were supposed to leave

three hours ago.

Get up. Sunrise was the plan.

Am I wrong? Sunrise.

Three hours ago.

You guys on f***ing vacation?

We're not on vacation.

We have a plan, and we need to stick to it.

- Go get some more sleep.

- Can't do this every morning.

I don't know what you guys are here for.

It was my idea.

All right.

just let me have a smoke.

What did you just say to me?

Searching for Michael Rockefeller.

It was my idea.

- Am I wrong?

- Is that right? You are f***ing wrong.

- Hmm?

- Yeah. We're gonna f***in' take this up later.

[ Bijou ] What do you reckon?

Do you think it's in good shape?

[ Mikey ] Ah, this one's

kind of old and brown, but...

that's like the fourth one we've seen, and you

know the natives are using this for transport.

- I can make this sh*t in, like, 30 minutes.

- Straight up? Bamboo?

- Yeah.

- There's heaps up there.

- What?

- Let's go.

F*** off. I'm looking at

the bamboo raft...

we should be making now and floating

down the river instead of walking.

Mikey, we are not building a raft. Do you

guys know anything about the Takreet River?

- Let's hear it, buddy.

- Oh, you- I see you did

your research. That's good.

You know about the crocodiles

and the whirlpools...

and the waterfalls

that are around every corner.

But they're uncharted, so you don't know

when they're gonna come. That's the best part.

We are not building a raft.

End of story. Let's f***ing go.

You could start with the bamboo stick

that's up his ass.

[ Bijou ]

just be cool.

Okay. Hey, guys.

Um, let's just be adults about this,

you know?

We all have to get along, or we're just-

we're not gonna make it. All right?

Is that cool?

Really.

All right?

Okay. Let's move.

F*** him. I'm beating his ass.

- [ Bijou ] All right, babe?

- [ Mandi ] Yeah. Got it.

Okay.

[ Branch Snaps ]

Here.

[ Bijou ]

Cool. Cool.

Oh. Sh*t.

Well, it's become apparent that they

have the personality of root vegetables.

- Um-

- [ Mikey ] They're squares.

just-Just take a look over here.

- Come on!

- Let's go!

- Look at these guys.

- See, kids?

This is what happens when you

say no to booze and good times.

Colby is on the verge

of getting his ass beat.

- I love beating rich boy ass.

- What are you doing?

Your girlfriend over there wants to

roll a cigarette every five seconds.

She's eating our food. We're late.

We're five days behind schedule

because of them.

- They wake up late.

- [ Mandi ] She's not my girlfriend.

- It's Mikey instigating it anyway.

Fix it with Mikey.

- Why did you bring her?

It's like I feel I constantly

have to justify myself to you...

It's like I feel I constantly

have to justify myself to you...

because you're always ragging on me

about smoking or drinking or...

just being loose.

And it's, like, it doesn't matter.

It's, like, we are the way we are.

Why should we justify it?

Why should I justify it?

You don't think of alcohol

as a- a crutch?

Um, perhaps.

But why is that a bad thing? I mean,

some people use money as a crutch.

Some people use love as a crutch.

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