Welcome To The Jungle Page #6

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Shopping. Fishing. Golfing.

- But it's a crutch.

- And what's wrong with that?

Why is that a bad thing?

We all need something

to get through f***in' life.

To stop, you know-

[ Chuckles ]

Okay. To get our asses

out of bed in the morning.

Well,yours actually doesn't

get out ofbed in the morning.

So sue me.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Colby ] Not everyone needs

the bottle to be happy.

I drink to make you guys interesting.

[ Chuckles ]

Wow.

And I'm gonna smoke to that.

- [ Colby ] Mikey loves it.

- Yeah.

Loves this girl over here talkin'sh*t.

[ Chuckles ]

He'll back me up.

I'm tired of your happy day

bullshit routine all the time.

I know you're bitching about me.

You're bitching about me constantly.

- I can hear you in the tent.

- [ Mandi ] What are you talking about?

- [ Colby ] BijouI

- [ Mikey ] It's not our business.

F***in'stay out of it.

Stay out of it.

It's not your business.

- [ Mandi ] You need to stop f***ing drinking then.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Oh, f*** off. I'm tired of your bullshit.

- No.

We drag your ass all over this-

this tropical village here.

Hey. You wouldn't be here

if it wasn't for him. Hey.

- For him? What did he do?

- He's the one who-

- I did everything.

- Oh, we're gonna sit on

that ''it was his idea'' thing.

All you've done is insult us

and put us down the whole time.

- No. We're here 'cause of me.

- Acting like sergeant major,

thinking you're all tough.

- Bring it. Bring the confrontation.

- Let's go. We're moving on.

- We're moving on?

- Get out of my face.

- Get out of my face.

- You think this is a joke?

- [ Bijou ] F*** you, man.

- Mandi. Mandi, let's go.

- Careful, man. Be chill.

- [ Mandi ] Bijou.

- Let's go.

- You shut the f*** up.

- Cut outI

- Oh, f*** off.

[ Bijou ]

Hello? Hello?

Since when did you turn 60?

Here. Drink some of this. Guys.

Drink. Merry. Enjoy.

Happiness. Gaiety. Spontaneity. Fun.

Do somethingI

Make yourselves useful.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Don't f***in'- Don't-

Don't- Don't- Don't-

You are one f***ing disgusting human being.

Do you know that?

In fact,

not even really a human being.

And you are a lying,

manipulative, boring slut.

I wish I had never

f***ing invited you on this trip.

I'm from the F*** You Gorilla Squad!

Coming straight at you.

- B*tch!

-Jesus f***ing Christ, Mikey.

Who's got balls now, huh?

[ Colby ] How do you guys

have the energy for this?

- Oh, forgot. You were eating our food.

- [ Mandi ] F***ing disgusting.

- Like that?

- Spit on my face.

[ Colby ] Bijou, there's a couple poisonous

plants over there you could eat.

[ Mandi ]

Yeah. Eat those. Eat the poisonous ones.

- They're f***ing not as poison as your mouth.

- Here is what you can eat.

- Is my sh*t.

- Funny.

Know what she is?

She's your little sperm rag. Aren't ya?

- Bijou, what'd I tell you about that sh*t?

- Get over yourself, darling.

- Yeah.

- What?

What are you showing me?

Your crooked teeth?

- [ Colby ] You've got something in your teeth.

- Yeah.

- Why don't you say what's on your mind?

Why are you full of sh*t?

- She doesn't have a mind.

- Ha, ha, ha, ha.

- So, the F*** You Gorilla Squad

will retire into the woods.

- [ Bijou ] ColbyI WowI Oh, my GodI It's so goodI

- [ Mandi ] Oh, God.

[ Moaning ]

- Do you like my jungle song, Mandi?

- [ Screaming ]

Do you like it? Do you like it?

That's what you sound like.

That's what you f***ing sound like.

At least we haven't been hit

with the ugly stick. That's for sure.

- [ Colby ] The ugly stick.

- Right here, baby.

This is beautiful. This is beautiful.

- I am Colby. I am so beautiful.

- Bend over. Bend over.

- Bijou, get off me!

- Bend over. Bend over.

- Get off me! F***ing stupid-

- I'm Colby.

- I'm Colby.

-Jesus Christ!

[ Burps ]

- Yeah. Let's go on vacation

and get hammered.

- Yeah. Huh?

Oh, sh*t. What's my name again?

I forgot my name.

- Bijou. Bijou.

- I'm so-

- I need a beer.

- Bijou. That's right. My name's Bijou.

- I need a beer.

- I'm so f***ing cool.

- [ Groaning ]

- Oh, oh!

- [ Chuckling ]

- This is great, man.

Hey, let's go get drunk with the villagers.

We can eat their chickens.

- We can eat their chickens.

- Yeah, we can eat their chickens!

- Yeah! And we'll roll cigarettes

and smoke with the locals.

- Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah! And then- Oh!

And then we can slaughter their cow.

- Yeah. Good idea.

- And eat that.

- Huh?

- Colby, you dropped your wiener.

[ Mikey Laughs ]

[ Burps ]

What?

[ Mandi ]

Colby.

- You all right?

- This is f***ed-up.

[ Mikey ]

These are my kind of people.

[ Mandi ]

Mikey, what are you doing?

Don't get too close, man.

This is absolutely gorgeous.

I've never seen anything... so beautiful.

It's like in death

there's this togetherness.

- Like in death they re-create life.

- [ Mandi ] Mikey.

- [ Colby ] Don't f*** with it.

- [ Mikey ] Let me just touch this.

- [ Colby ] NoI

- [ Mandi ] Mikey. Stop.Just. Mikey-

We could make a lot of money

off these, honey. What do you think?

Hey. I'm Colby.

I think I run this outfit.

- [ Bijou ] How are ya?

- [ Man ] What might you be

doing here in New Guinea?

- [ Bijou ] You're an Aussie.

- Yeah, mate.

- So am I.

- Yeah? What are you doing up here?

- Oh,you know,just, uh, hanging out.

- Yeah?

- [ Mikey ] Yep.

- How about you, mate? Where are you from?

- U.S.

- F***ing Americans.

You're not the ones who've been up here f***ing

around with these grave sites, are youse?

- Maybe.

- [ Bijou ] No, mate.

No. We're not into that kind ofbullshit.

Look, mate. I've known

these people for years.

I've lived here for bloody- a long time.

If they f***in' catch you up there

f***ing around, they'll kill ya.

- They're not gonna kill sh*t.

- Well, mate, I'm telling you.

If they f***ing catch you,

they'll kill you.

They don't f***in' muck around here.

If that's been you up there f***ing around,

I'd f*** off out of here right now.

'Cause if they catch you,

I'm telling you, you're dead meat.

- [ Bijou ] All right, mate.

- [ Mikey ] Yeah.

- [ Man ] They'll f***ing have you.

- Sweet.

- [ Bijou ] Listen. Take care.

- Yeah. I'll take care.

- [ Colby ] Give me the skull!

- [ Mikey Whooping ]

- Happy campers, the natives are getting restless.

- Give me the f***ing skull!

- [ Mandi ] Give me the skull!

- That's my skull.

- Bijou, you guys are clinically- Stop this!

- Give me the f***ing skull.

- That's my skull, baby.

- Mikey, come here!

- That's my skull.

- Watch the booze. Watch the booze.

- I thought we were friends.

- Sacred burial ground.

That's real good.

Let's take a f***ing skull.

- Look at you guys.

- Take a f***ing skull.

- Give me the skull!

- Give it to me!

- [ Bijou ] It's a score.

- First thing tomorrow we're putting it back!

- TouchdownI

- We can't put it back. It is too late.

- Motherf- Give me the skull!

- This is worth money!

- Give it to me.

- It's worth money!

- Bijou!

- Watch the booze. Watch the booze.

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