Welcome to Willits Page #2

Hell, I think

they might've even

rejiggered my brain

so I could make this sh*t.

You ever, uh..

You heard

of emerald ice?

No.

Well, it's pretty

goddamn famous.

I mean, they even got it

on the internets.

- Internet.

- Yep.

You should google it.

[distant howling]

- I have to pee.

- Fine.

But it's -- I think

it's right up here.

I -- I know it's

a little dirt road --

Alright, dude,

you're full of sh*t, man

because we've passed

this same exact road

like 10 times now.

Well, can't we just

wander out into the woods

set up a few tents

roll a doobie

and call it a night?

I wanna find these

f***ing hot springs, man.

Babe, can we just

get out of this car?

I wanna find a hotel.

We could take some shots.

Maybe just..

It'll be my treat.

Hey, I'm -- I'm cool

with whatever, guys.

Guys, I'm cool

with, uh, whatever.

Whatever the flow

dictates, ya know?

Wait, yeah.

Wa -- wa -- wa -- wait.

I th -- I think

it's here.

Yeah, I know,

this is it!

Besh's little,

tiny bladder

finally paid off.

Alright, you better

be right, dude.

Hey, we -- we shouldn't

be here.

Ah, don't be a puss.

First of all, this sign

is like 30 years old.

Second

they just don't like

hunters and sh*t

out here.

There isn't a house

for miles.

Let's just throw up

a few tents and chill.

Besides,

who's gonna know?

I don't tell a lot

of people this, alright?

But you're family,

so that's different.

I re -- I recently went

to go see a hypnotist.

I'm not talking

one of them

TV a**holes

that scam your money.

I'm talking, like,

a real doctor-type

individual.

Well, what'd he say?

See, you sell yourself

short when you do that.

You know

what I'm talking about.

Now, are all docs dudes?

They are not.

Not all docs are dudes.

Okay, what did, uh,

what did she say?

Apparent -- apparently

I've been seeing

these things going around

since I've been

pissin' in my diapers.

It's one of these..

...depressed memories,

you know what I'm sayin'?

- Repressed, sugar.

- Huh?

It's repressed

memory, re.

Ah, d -- d-- depressed

repressed, abscessed.

Anyway, that -- some

sh*t that's locked

back there.

The truth

about these things

that no little kid's

supposed to see.

Uncle Brock, I mean..

...I don't know

what to say.

There's nothin'

to say, Court.

I just hope that whatever

it is they came here for

they find it

and just leave us alone.

I hope.

We get by how we get by.

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

Um, inside.

I don't know.

Impressive.

Hey, hey.

What'd you say

your name was?

Besh.

- Beth?

- Besh.

Be-e-eth.

Alright.

How about you tell us

your name, huh?

Uh, Possum.

Possum?

- As in opossum?

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it says

on my birth certificate

but I -- I -- I dropped

the "O."

You know, 'cause it was

all I could think about.

My -- my silent "O."

Cool.

Do you guys think

there's anything

to what that creep said

at the convenience store?

Oh, my God.

Baby, really?

Wait, wait, what exactly

did this creepo say?

Nothing.

It's stupid.

Just forget about it.

He didn't even care

about the money.

It was like

he wanted to warn us.

He said something

about some people

going missing

a while ago.

He said maybe

it was a Sasquatch.

[laughing]

Like Bigfoot?

Really?

No, Sasquatch.

It's different.

Anyway..

Anyway, it might be

aliens.

Ever since the '70s

there's been

a lot of UFO activity.

It's Big Brother

that keeps it secret.

You know, they

have the power because

they have the money.

And the only power

greater than money

is knowledge.

So, you keep

the knowledge out of minds

you keep the money

out of pockets, boom.

The power is yours.

Lucifer.

Y'all know

what Lucifer means?

Uh, the devil, duh.

Lucifer..

...the bringer of light.

Yeah, people been

scaring each other

off of knowledge

a long time now.

Yeah, parents lie

to their children.

Ugh.

It's precious.

Anyway..

...check out what I,

Mr. Slickness

jacked back

at the gas station.

Really? You're stealin'

sh*t, dude?

It's f***ed up.

And even worse is

calling yourself

"Mr. Slickness."

[Jeremiah laughing]

F***, damn, guys.

I'm just tryin'

to have some fun.

No need to get

all preachy

and start throwin'

finger quotes around.

Is this a better use

of my finger?

I'm gonna go find

those f***in' hot springs.

If any of you lame-asses

wanna be less lame..

...let's roll.

Fine.

Why does he smoke

this stuff?

Isn't it pretty bad?

The government would like

you to think so

but mostly, we just

we just try not

to sleep much is all.

Especially at night.

They're more likely

to come around then.

You know, we've learnt

how to deal with them

over the time.

The floodlights,

for one thing.

They hate floodlights.

And then, sometimes..

...they tell us things

about themselves.

Captain really

let you have it

this time, huh, Derek?

Screw Captain Barnes.

He's just pissed 'cause

it's my face that ends up

on the papers

for doing a job

that he can't

even handle.

Maybe he's pissed

because

you assaulted another

innocent person.

Well, it's not assault

if they get between me

and this meth case.

You consider that

collateral damage.

Jesus Christ, man.

I'll do whatever it takes

to get you, Brock.

I see you.

I wanna..

[whimpering]

[growling]

[groaning]

[gasps]

[crickets chirping]

Holy motherfuckin'

shitballs.

Hey.

Ah.

[sniffs]

Oh, if those asswipes

could see me now.

Screw the hot springs,

I found the pot springs.

Can't believe

I just said that.

Where the f*** is he?

I mean, I doubt we're

even anywhere near

the stupid f***ing

hot springs.

Wait, do you think

that he met a girl?

[laughing]

As charming

as Zack is, Cassie

I doubt he met a girl

in the middle

of the woods.

I'm sure that Zack

is just doing

whatever Zack does.

Getting raped

by Sasquatch?

Yes.

'Miah.

I'm sure he's fine,

Cass.

Oh, man.

[sniffs]

God, those guys

are gonna sh*t

when they see what

Dr. Slickness

pulled off this time.

[chuckles]

Anyone who doesn't see

the system is corrupt

doesn't see at all,

is all I'm sayin'.

I've been up

and I've been down

both directions,

sh*t is crooked.

You know, I bet, I bet

you're one of those kids

from the suburbs that just

decided one day

to go follow a band

around on tour, right?

Look, I've -- I've made

plenty of money up here.

Enough to get corrupted.

You know, I thought

I was better than people.

That's what money

will tell you, man.

Whisper it, right

in your...f***in' ear.

So, what, you were a dick

to your friends

or somethin'?

Nah.

I went to jail.

Didn't stick though.

What? You got caught

dealin' weed and they

dropped the charges?

Like everybody

in California?

No, I...I killed

somebody.

Allegedly.

You know, I -- I -- I

got a good lawyer.

Even better doctor

that made me look crazier

than a shithouse rat

took all my money

brought me back

to Earth.

As much as

I'm ever here.

Hey, I'm just -- I'm just

f***in' with you guys.

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