Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior Page #4

Shen, I promised but I didn't say when.

We'll finish this summer.

(EX CLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)

All right, fine.

(CELL PHONE RINGING )

Right after homecoming.

Hey, Tory. Guess what?

But evil is very near. We must be ready.

(SIGHING IN ANNO YANCE)

GRANDMA:
Wendy.

-Time for dinner.

-In a minute, Grandma.

Funny, Grandma.

Grandma, do you ever miss China?

Sometimes.

When I see something

or hear something

or even smell something

that reminds me of the village

where I grew up.

Lian He.

That's pretty.

-What's it mean?

-Lotus place.

What do you miss most?

Sitting on my grandfather's lap

on rainy days when he couldn't go

to work in the fields.

I can still smell his pipe

and hear his voices telling me

thousand-year-old stories

about great heroes and their battles.

My favorite was about a girl

who was trained by a young monk

to fight evil.

Her name was Miaozhen.

And they say every 90 years

her descendants

must accept responsibility

and become a Yin warrior.

Yeah, but, Grandma,

you don't really believe that stuff,

do you?

Of course I believe it.

You told her?

I didn't have to. She already knew.

My mother was a Yin warrior

and you will be one, too.

-It's a great honor.

-Grandma.

NINA:
Hi, everybody. I'm home.

What smells so...

Oh, hi.

Who's this?

Ma, why didn't you tell us

that your grandnephew

on your second cousin's father's side

was visiting?

I thought I told you, or I meant to,

or I'm just old.

-Dad, can I grow a ponytail?

-No, that's silly.

Not that there's

anything wrong with that.

It's just that...

Look, Shen, even though

it's a little bit unannounced,

we want you to feel welcome.

Please stay as long as you want.

How long do you think that'll be?

Ow!

Leg cramp.

I think he has to leave soon.

I mean,

you can't stay long, right, Shen?

Oh, yes, I will be leaving

as soon as I complete my mission.

-Your mission? What's your mission?

-Visiting.

He's on a mission to visit us.

It's a Chinese thing.

You wouldn't understand.

Enough talk. It's very rude to our guest.

(SPEAKING MANDARIN)

Eat.

Do you not find the history

of the terra cotta warriors

to be fascinating?

How do you know about that?

Oh, great. He reads minds, too.

I cannot read minds.

I saw a poster about your exhibit

of the Qin Dynasty artifacts.

Oh, right, the posters.

Yeah, it's really fascinating

but I'm having a hard time

getting the research straight.

Perhaps I could help you.

One of my teachers at Gingi Temple

is a direct descendant

of Qin Shi Huangdi,

the first Emperor of the Qin Dynasty.

PETER:
Hey.

Does it get cold under your robe, dude?

(LAUGHING )

Somebody stop him, please.

Shen, I would be so grateful

if you could help me understand

the history of some of the artifacts.

The exhibit is next week

and I have to get everything organized.

It will be my honor.

-Hey, Shen, do you know any kung fu?

-Of course.

-I have studied it for a very long time.

-Cool.

Do you think

you could show me a couple moves?

My football coach, he's always on me

about shaking the linebackers.

They're always tagging me

from the side.

Oh, football. American sport.

I find in defending against attacks

from the side, wang ting chen moves.

What did he say, Grandma?

Shen will explain. I get the dessert.

-May I demonstrate?

-Please.

I believe that wang ting chen in English

is "monkey jumps over wall."

"Monkey jumps over wall"?

-That sounded cooler in Chinese, man.

-I agree.

(GRUNTS )

Whoa!

(CHUCKLING )

Wow, that was great.

-Dude, you gotta teach me that.

-Of course.

Oh, my. Are these mooncakes?

WEND Y:
What are mooncakes?

A very special pastry that is made

to celebrate

the Chinese Autumn Moon Festival.

-Cool, when is that?

-Soon.

Ma, you haven't made these

since I was a kid.

I didn't make them.

Please, I hope you enjoy them.

Mmm. Dude, these are good.

-Kenny, aren't you gonna have one?

-No.

Excuse me.

Can I have his?

PETER:
Ow!

But Shen is really sweet.

(POP MUSIC PLA YIN G ON S TEREO )

Tory, nobody cares.

Just because they see me with him

doesn't mean

they're not gonna vote for me.

I know he's a monk.

Who cares how he dresses?

Look, I've gotta go. Bye.

(EX CLAIMS )

These are good.

But how do you get the orange

off your fingers?

Suck them.

(BOTH LAUGHING )

They're good, huh?

Oh, hey, I was practicing that move.

Watch.

(EX CLAIMS )

Are you all right?

(GROANING )

Oh, yeah.

I meant to do that.

(BOTH LAUGHING )

Peter, can you give me and Shen

a ride to the mall?

-Mom said you can go shopping?

-Yeah.

The same way Dad said

it was okay for you to ditch school

and go surfing last week.

I'll get the car.

How did you do that?

It's an ancient American move called,

"Monkey jumps for smarter sister."

Come on.

Okay, we've got an hour till closing.

We've got work to do.

-Are we training here?

-Sort of. Come on.

I've got a song

but I ain't got no melody

Come on

How am I gonna sing it

with my friends?

I've got a song

but I ain't got no melody

How am I gonna sing it

with my friends?

Will it go round in circles?

All right

Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

Will it go round in circles?

Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

Listen

I've got a little dance

but I ain't got no steps

I'm gonna let the music

move me round

I've got a little dance

but I ain't got no steps

Gonna let the music move me round

Will it go round in circles?

Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

Come on. Come on!

(BOTH LAUGHING )

NINA:
I thought you were too full.

This mooncake is so good.

I think I owe Shen an apology.

I didn't mean to be rude to him.

But it's just

when I saw these mooncakes,

it was like I was a boy again.

And then I felt guilty that I grew up

turning my back on all of this.

-I don't wanna do that anymore.

-You didn't do it alone.

I want us to be

a Chinese-American family.

-Can I have a bite?

-No.

Kenny.

It's so strange.

In one night, this long lost relative

comes into our lives,

and in one evening,

he gives your mother

a little piece of the old country,

gives Peter a football move,

finds some missing pieces in your work,

and opens my eyes

to something we've been missing.

-It's wonderful, isn't it?

-Yeah.

It's just a little sad because I don't think

Wendy will get anything out of this.

(BELL RINGING )

(ALL CHATTERING )

Well, I'll see you guys later.

I'm kind of busy, okay?

All right.

-Hey, babe.

-Oh, hi.

What do you think?

Your shirt. It looks nice.

No.

My hair.

-It looks the same.

-I got highlights. See?

I figure when we win homecoming,

the stage lights

will really bring them out.

Yeah, great.

Who are you looking for?

Nobody. I just thought

maybe Shen would be around.

-Who?

-My cousin.

Oh, yeah.

You know, we gotta stay away from him.

He's gonna wreck it for us.

People are starting to talk.

Well, people

should mind their own business.

-Maybe he's a nice guy.

-Nice guy.

Well, Warren's a nice guy, too,

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