Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior Page #3

she'd think of some way

to use it against me.

-Totally.

-Sure.

(PHONE BEEPIN G)

Hang on.

-Hello?

-Hey, Wen.

Listen, I hear you have

an interesting new friend.

Well, I hope he gets you the monk vote.

-That's a great idea, Tory!

-What's a great idea?

We'll write "Vote for Wendy"

on a bunch of chopsticks

and get your cousin to hand them out

at lunch tomorrow.

-Isn't it awesome?

-No.

No, forget it. I'll talk to you guys later.

(SIGHING )

(DOORBELL RINGING )

(EX CLAIMS ANGRILY)

You must wear this now.

It will protect you during your training.

(EX CLAIMS ANGRILY)

Look, I don't wanna be rude

but you hanging around me

is making my life a little complicated.

Please, go back to your temple of doom

or whatever.

Look, I never agreed to train.

You'll just have to find

some other girl to be your warrior.

I know. Look, why don't you ask

Sarah Goldberg in my homeroom?

She's got no life. I'm sure

she'll kung fu with you all you want.

The evil spirit

could be anyone around you.

Please.

(EX CLAIMS ANGRILY)

Go away. I'm not your warrior.

(MEDITATING ) Om.

(WHISPERING )

You will be a great warrior.

Ouch.

(BELL RINGING )

(STUDENTS CHATTERING )

LISA:
Did you do

the world history homework?

WEND Y:
I know. That stuff's so hard.

I finished it. It was all right.

(SHEN YELLING )

Frank, you all right?

What's he doing?

It's sacred monk stuff.

LISA:
That's cool.

Interesting.

-We'll catch you at lunch, okay, Wen?

-Okay.

(BELL RINGING )

(LAUGHS )

Remember what we always say

about these punks.

Never show them fear.

(EXHALING )

Never let them smell it, either.

We've got a big problem now.

You're embarrassing me

and messing with my rep.

I would not have to do this

if you would only wear the medallion.

Evil is here.

Look, the only thing evil around here

is Mr. Nunan over there.

You have no idea.

-Hey, babe.

-Hey, Austin.

I don't think so.

You know the rules

on public displays of affection.

-She started it, Mr. Tobias.

-Austin!

I got my eye on you, Wendy Wu.

(BOTH LAUGHING )

-You are so bad.

-Well, you didn't call me last night.

I wanted to tell you

I finally got a letter back

from that modeling agency

in San Francisco

and they said

my pictures were '80s retro.

That's good, right?

-Yeah, congratulations.

-Thanks.

So, I hear... I hear your cousin's in town.

Oh, my gosh,

it's been so embarrassing.

-Why?

-That's why.

He's not the evil one.

You're safe to speak with him.

Thanks.

Listen, why don't you check to see

if the bathroom is safe for me?

Good idea.

Your instincts are becoming sharp.

What's up with that?

Oh, he's from, like, real deep,

deep inside China

and it's a very careful culture.

Huh.

So we're still going

to Maria Santiago's party, right?

Oh, yeah.

The next Homecoming Queen

shouldn't be partying

without the Homecoming King.

(GIRLS SCREAMING )

Wendy, toilet now safe.

-I guess I'll see you at lunch.

-Yeah.

Many angry girls waiting for you to go.

Wendy, I'm so glad I ran into you.

Actually, you ran into me.

Anyway, I hope you know

I was only kidding the other night,

on the phone, about your cousin.

Oh, don't worry about it.

That's how you and I are. We kid.

We're like that.

(CHUCKLING )

Oh, since I won't see you

at soccer practice,

I am so sorry about the disqualification.

-From what? Soccer?

-Yeah.

And probably a bunch

of other extracurricular activities like,

oh, I don't know, homecoming eligibility.

-Not much left. I took this for you.

-Not now.

-What do you mean?

-Oh, it's written in the school bylaw.

"Any student participating

in any extracurricular activity

"must maintain a minimum C average

in all subjects."

-World history.

-Yeah.

I don't know

how the counselor found out. Sorry.

(WEND Y EX CLAIMS ANGRILY)

(SHEN MEDITATING )

What am I thinking?

I can't get an A in world history.

I don't know anything about China.

Midterms are in a week. There's no way.

-I will help you.

-What?

Your school lessons.

I know everything

about the history of China.

It's required in the temple.

Well, that's nice but we're in school.

Temple and school are just places.

Chinese history is in here.

(BELL RINGING )

I can teach you how to look within.

You are kind of smart.

Okay, you can tutor me.

You must agree to wear the medallion

and begin your kung fu training.

You know, you're like a dog with a bone

with this kung fu thing.

(GROWLING )

Deal. You tutor, I'll train.

WEND Y:
Could you monks

have made this any uglier?

Aren't you gonna stretch?

If we're gonna do kung fu,

you don't wanna pull a muscle

or something.

I am stretching,

and you don't "do" kung fu.

-Kung fu is a way of life.

-Oh, sorry.

Did you get that out of a movie?

It sounded better

when Jackie Chan said it.

(LAUGHING )

So, how long is this gonna take?

Because we really should get started

on my tutoring.

Not that I'm dumb or anything

but that could take longer.

We will have time for both.

So who's gonna save the world

for me?

Who's gonna change?

Who's gonna change?

Who's gonna find a better way

And make it their way?

(CELL PHONE RINGING )

Wait. Hold on.

We need a hero

Hey, Tory. What's up?

You wanna go shopping later?

To save us from ourselves

Oh, yeah. Me, too.

Lookin' for a hero

Like nobody else

We need a hero

(CRUNCHING )

But if we can't find one

I will do it myself

I will

(CELL PHONE RINGING )

We need a hero

Hey, Lisa.

To save us from ourselves

Lookin' for a hero

Sorry.

Like nobody else

We need a hero

Oh, nice!

Watch your fingers.

But if we can't find one

Sorry.

I will do it myself

One more time?

I will, I will

(SCREAMS )

What?

What? What?

I will, I will, I will

As much as I enjoyed kicking you

I think we should get started

on my tutoring. I'll get my books.

You won't need your books.

As a Yin warrior, you are connected

to all of your ancestors as one life.

Well, what does this have to do

with my D in world history?

Your midterm is on China

and that history is within you.

Wait.

Are you saying I don't have to study?

No, we all have to study.

You just have to learn

how to remember

1 ,500 years of lessons.

Wait. Okay.

I'll go with this for a minute.

How exactly do I remember this stuff?

You must focus your mind

through meditation.

That weird trance thing you do,

going "yum"?

Not "yum."

Om.

No.

Too bad. You would have been

a great Yin warrior

and beautiful Homecoming Queen.

(SIGHING )

Om?

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Om.

I did it! I did it!

I remembered everything!

I got an A! Thank you so much!

Oh, thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you!

(GRUNTS )

(GASPING )

Sorry, Todd.

(BELL RINGING )

This is good.

Now that you've focused your mind,

your training will come much easier.

Okay, I'm a little behind

but I think I can catch up.

-Good. We start now.

-Right.

Posters and flyers.

"Wendy for Homecoming Queen" flyers.

No, your training, you're not done.

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