What Did You Do in the War, Daddy? Page #6

What ho! My lucky helmet!

The boy stood on the burning deck.

His fleece was white as snow,

and everywhere that Barry went,

the ship was sure to go.

Garbo speaks!

Take two and hit to the right!

Stroke! Stroke, you devils! Stroke!

Din... Gunga Din, bring water, you beggar!

I do not surrender

because you took my Gina!

You did not surrender

because you are a frink!

-A frink?

-Yeah, a fraud, a fink, a frink!

That's right, don't argue with me!

I am sick!

What...

-Major Pott!

-Tippy Canoe and Tyler, too!

Major Pott, are you all...

If nominated, I will not run!

If elected, I... Back! Back!

Where cheetah? Where apple pan dowdy?

Send me your poor,

your tired, your homely.

Send me your... Back! Back! Back!

Elephantiasis!

Captain?

Captain Cash?

Captain Cash?

-What is this place, Oppo?

-It's part of the catacombs.

This must be the gladiator's room.

Captain Cash.

-Thank heaven.

-What happened?

He's out of his mind! He went screaming

down the tunnel here! Screaming!

-What is it, Oppo? Where does it go?

-Back to the center of the village.

-Yes, we'll gather at the river

Lieutenant, we have to get

word back to the general.

You and I are taking off.

After dark, I want you to start

slipping the men out.

Well, sir, what happens

when there's only five of us left?

-Slip out all the traffic will bear.

-Right.

Crisis-wise, the important thing is

to get word back to the general.

All right.

We will use this as our headquarters.

Officers quartered upstairs.

We have the finest accommodations.

I will have dinner at precisely 8:00.

Send up a bottle of your finest wine.

Send her up, too.

We must kidnap Colonel Kastorp!

He is the same notorious colonel

who led the attack on Leningrad.

The party will reward us!

We'll go to Russia! We'll be heroes!

He has ordered a bottle of wine.

We'll drug the wine.

Oh, wait a minute.

Help me get it on.

Oppo, now listen to me.

I want you to take me to the edge of town

and double back to get the men.

They'd never find their way alone.

Okay? Come, let's go.

Come on, come on, quickly!

You come with me!

So what? Relax, relax.

Be natural.And smile.

Smile.

Not like a man, like a girl, eh?

-Here he comes. Here he comes.

-Embrace me. Embrace me.

Rizzo, Needleman, Minow, Lumpe!

In the hole! Come on!

All right, look. The Germans got Cash.

-You're kidding.

-Yeah.

Lumpe, you take charge here.

Get out as many men as you possibly can

without being too damn obvious.

-Right.

-I'll send Oppo back as guide.

Come on, Oppo. Let's go.

Colonel?

-Oh, Lionel!

-It's me, it's me.

What happened?

I don't know. I think he's dead.

Oh, Lionel, you must do something.

They are going to shoot all the prisoners.

They what?

Tomorrow, at dawn,

all of the men in the stadium.

-By his orders!

-Why that...

-Gina, listen.

-Yes.

And listen very carefully.

I want you to sit by the manhole cover

and wait for Christian.

He should be coming up any minute now.

Warn him about the execution.

Tell him I'm trying to make it

back to General Bolt.

Send someone else if I don't make it.

Now, do you understand?

Well?

I'm an American! I am not Kastorp!

Let me go! I'm an American!

Gina!

-No, no, no, in English.

-Yes, in English.

Cash, he has escaped.

He is going to the American general.

But the Germans are going to kill you all,

all of the prisoners!

It's himself.

Oh, Lionel. Oh, Lionel!

-Cash?

-Come on, wake up, baby!

Hey! Hey! It's our guys. It's all right.

-How many more can Lumpe get out?

-I think we're about it.

One of the guards got nosey and he

started taking a count of all the prisoners.

-Why?

-What for?

Hey, you guys, give me a hand.

-Keep it quiet up there!

-Get them up! Move them out!

Let's go!

What the hell's going on here?

They're our guys.

No, they're not.

They're Germans in our uniforms.

Okay, you three, down in the hole!

Come on.

All right, now, everybody go out,

get one German each,

bring him back here before dawn. Go! Go!

Come on, move.

Lionel, now I go to the hotel,

and I'll get you some other clothes.

But if theyve discovered the colonel,

it'll be too dangerous.

If you want to get word to your general,

it's a risk that must be taken!

-Gina, I refuse to let you... No!

-Just don't argue with me, Lionel.

Oh, Lionel.

-Lionel.

-Come on, come on.

-Are you well?

-Up, just come up.

Been dead about an hour.

Take hostages.

He looks just like Colonel Kastorp.

That's because he is Colonel Kastorp.

Then who was the Colonel...

The man who was just here?

Where did he go?

The wine has done its work.

He is stunned like an ox.

It has also made him very stiff.

He is as cold as ice.

''Half a league,

Half a league onward

''Cannons to the right of them,

Cannons to the left of them,

''Volleyed and thundered

and Dundered and Blitzened''

All right, straighten up that line.

''One, two, three, O'Leary

Four, five...''

Major Pott!

Major Pott, it's me, Captain Cash. It's me!

-What is it?

-Somebody's knocked off Colonel Kastorp.

-What? Who?

-I don't know,

but they've brought in some

of the villagers as hostages.

-For what? Are they going to shoot them?

-Yeah, probably. Easy.

Wait till the next election.

What are we doing?

Calm, calm.

Hey, Rizzo, what do we do if they spot us?

-Tell them he's an escaped prisoner.

-Right.

Hey, Rizzo, I just thought of something.

I don't speak any German. Do you?

-No.

-Swell.

I'm invisible! I'm invisible!

I'm not really here.

What are you doing?

Answer me!

Are you crazy?

-Take your helmet off.

-Get the rifles.

-Yeah.

-Good luck, you guys.

-Knock it off.

Get ready. It's almost dawn.

Easy, easy.

-Anybody else up there, Blair?

-No, I'm it.

Let's go. Grab a gun!

This time are you sure?

A jackass couldn't miss it!

Am I dumber than a jackass?

You're certainly no smarter.

Fire! Fire!

Wonderful, wonderful.

Congratulations, Major Cash.

Give me a light.

Major, sir?

Thats the way the cannon roars, Cash,

promotion-wise and career-wise.

Wonderful.

Now, let's get this show on the road.

But we can't just yet, sir.

What?

Well, we can't.

The Italian soldiers won't leave, sir.

-Again?

-The Italians won't leave, sir.

Well, I've got a trigger-happy

armored division out there

that says they damn well better leave.

Sorry, sir, but they're all hiding.

Louder, Cash. I could swear

I just heard you say they're hiding.

They won't leave until

we give them a party.

A what?

Party, sir.

Cash, are you out of your mind?

What the hell do you mean,

give them a party?

-We'll whoop it up for

Old Nassau We'll whoop it up again

We'll whoop it up for Old Nassau

General, how are you, sir?

Yes, she'll fill you in, sir. Excuse me.

-Well, buona sera, buona sera.

-Oh, buona sera, you speak Italian.

Oh, well...

Papa.

-Do you like our wine? Oh, very nice.

-Oh, yeah, very much, very much.

-Excuse me, sir.

-Well, for you and for me.

-You're a very pretty

historian. You have marvelous eyes.

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