What Happened Last Night Page #6

What's up, Frankie?

What's up, fellas?

There he is!

Hey, about time you showed up!

Where's Danny?

I just saw him drag Freshie

outside,

something about a table?

Uh...

Is the keg here yet?

Nah, Jay just took some pledges

to go get it.

Is anything going on yet?

We got some cans

and some jungle juice.

And, uh, cleaned out the garage

once everyone's inside

for beer pong.

Yeah.

Come on.

Come on, Sarah.

At least you can smile.

Come on.

This is why I don't come

to parties before 11.

Hey, uh, who are those two girls

you just brought in?

Is this better?

That's so much better.

Stop!

Come on.

One hour, Mindy,

one hour.

Fine.

I don't know, I just met them.

Mindy and Sarah.

Hmm.

Okay, hold the phone.

Mindy, I have dibs on her.

Okay, and what about Sarah?

Actually, she's fair game, man.

Go work your magic.

Huh, don't mind if I do.

Sucka!

Okay.

Game on!

Oh, speaking of which...

Hi, beautiful.

That's for you.

Are you talking to me?

Well, yeah.

I'd love to shake your hand

and introduce myself,

but they seem to be

a bit full at the moment.

That is, of course,

unless you'd like a beer?

Thank you.

Thinks he's getting some.

He's not.

Nah.

Isn't that brunette friends

with Hayden?

I have no idea.

I've seen her around before.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Maybe I can get him

to entertain her

while I entertain her friend.

It could work.

Yeah.

My name is Allen.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Your feet must be tired, Sarah.

Why?

Because you've been running

through my mind all night.

Would you like to go

find a seat somewhere?

Sure.

Told you.

All right, well, do me a favor

and just keep Danny drinking.

Like, a lot.

You got it.

Okay?

Yes!

Pick it up, please.

Let's go!

Foot rub, the party's waiting.

Sh*t, this is heavy.

Ahem.

I'm sorry, did you, uh,

say something, foot rub?

No, pledgemaster socklove!

Hmm, yeah, did he... did he say

something, skidmark?

Yes, sir, pledgemaster socklove.

Really good job with the keg.

Yeah, really good job.

Let me ask you a question.

How do you expect the beer

to come out of that?

Want me to stick a straw in it?

Where's the tap, foot rub?

Get the tap!

Go, go, go!

Morons!

That's hot.

Oh, hey, Rick.

Is that beer for me?

Uh, sure.

You are such a nice guy.

Gee, thanks. You know

what they say about nice guys.

Come over here, Rick.

They don't always finish last,

you know.

Well, maybe we'll

see where I finish tonight?

Maybe.

What, I wasn't getting

my own beer.

Tap's here!

Got it.

Yes.

Yo, Hayden.

Joe.

What's up, brother?

What's going on, man?

What's going on, man?

Hey, um, do you know a girl

named Sarah?

I know a couple of girls

named Sarah, I think.

Uh, this one has a friend

named Mindy, though.

Sarah Dawson.

Yeah, I lived next to her

freshman year.

Oh, nice.

Uh, what's her deal?

Sarah? Are you interested?

No, no, not in her.

In her friend Mindy,

but Mindy's not gonna stay

unless Sarah does.

So, what's that whole issue

that's going on?

I see.

She, uh...

She had a bad breakup.

I think she's going through

like a really hard time.

Sounds familiar.

I'm actually surprised

that she's even here tonight.

So listen, do you think

you could like entertain her

a little bit

so I can chat up

her friend Mindy?

Chat up or like...?

A little boop-boop...

No, no.

Um, please,

don't ever do that again

sorry, that was...

But, listen,

she's too busy babysitting,

and so I haven't gotten

to say anything to her.

Maybe an introduction?

All right, I guess

I could open the door.

And I'll walk right in.

I know you will.

That's what I'm talking about.

Now, come on.

All right.

Look, I can't promise anything,

but I'll do what I can.

Promise anything?

Dude, I just need five minutes.

Look, Sarah's my friend man.

Just don't put me

in a bad spot, okay?

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

What? Dude.

Yeah. All right.

Come on, I would never.

Let's go come on.

Let's do it, let's do it.

Whoo! Get it! Come on, get it!

Yeah, come on, baby!

- Whoa!

- Yeah!

Oh! Oh, god! Freshie, that's the

nastiest sh*t I've ever seen!

Well, back in Iowa...

Oh, no, no, no, here.

Go, just chug, come on!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

So tell us about

that guy upstairs.

Yes, he was hot but...

Something was up with him.

He had the tiniest dick.

I told you!

I swear.

- Ew.

- So disappointing.

That's embarrassing for him.

What do you do with

something like that?

Ew, what do you do?

Like, like how small?

Like here, here...?

Like this size.

Oh, my god!

You're kidding.

What do you do with that?

Melanie.

Melanie.

Alex.

Allen.

Whatever, Allen.

I think you're hot and all,

but it takes more than that

to get with me.

Really?

Yes.

Well, I just wanted

to give you a taste

of what you'd be hearing

tonight.

Well, how about I give you

a little taste?

- Wanna go upstairs?

- In your dreams.

Sometimes dreams come true.

And, uh, in all sincerity,

I was just admiring your pants.

My pants?

Yeah, your pants.

I think they're on fire.

My pants are on fire?

What are you talking about?

Your pants are on fire...

Because your ass is hot.

Oh, god.

Well, actually,

they're baseball pants.

Baseball pants? Really?

Yeah, because I'm completely

out of your league.

I see what you, uh...

Well played.

What are you thinking?

I wonder if he has a big dick?

Oh.

Oh, no. No. Really?

Wha...

You know we have a rule

in the gamma house?

No empty cups.

Thanks, Hayden.

No problem.

Not having a good time?

No, not really.

Sarah, can I give you

some friendly advice?

Could I stop you?

Of course not.

You're ruining your senior year.

You can blame Dave all you want,

but you have the power

to let go and move on.

Have fun. I mean, you're not

gonna be able to relive

these moments.

Did Mindy send you over here?

No. Why?

Because you sound just like her.

Speaking of Mindy,

have you seen her?

No.

I think she's avoiding me.

All right, well,

I'm gonna go try and find her.

Bye.

Look, can you blame Mindy?

You're at a party, have fun.

Seriously, Sarah,

you're doing it to yourself.

You're right.

I am?

Yeah.

See? There's a first time

for everything.

Thanks, Hayden.

You're the best.

I know.

Now, let's go play

some beer pong.

Sure, why not?

- Thanks.

- You're very welcome.

Hey, Deedee.

Hey. Hey, Allen.

So, um, could you do me a favor?

What's that?

Could you feel my shirt?

Excuse me?

Just feel my shirt.

Okay.

Do you know what that is?

Cotton?

Nope.

Boyfriend material.

It seems a little clingy

and hard to maintain.

Bye.

Mm.

No, really, bye.

Right.

Yeah, bye.

He had a really nice butt.

I should've said yes.

You should have said...

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Oh, god.

Oh, man.

All right, Freshie,

let's get you a refill.

I think I saw a cow

in the kitchen or something.

Really?

No, you moron.

Well, back in Iowa...

Yo, pay me.

Joe!

Yo!

Been looking all over for you.

Hey, that rhymed.

Are you seriously

that drunk right now?

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