What Happened Last Night Page #7

Dude, I can drink anyone

under the table.

How many have you had already?

Um... I don't know, like...

10, 12, 17, 18, 19...

Maybe you should slow down

a little, dude.

You don't wanna puke so soon

into the party.

I'm not gonna puke.

I can drink anyone

under the table.

You said that already, dude.

You know, screw it.

Where's Freshie?

I'm not done with him yet.

Uh, what...?

Some of the other

brothers got him.

I'm not done with him yet.

You said that already.

Screw it.

You said that too.

Come on, let's go inside.

Why?

Because I found a hot chick.

And she's got

a pretty cute friend.

What cute, that's it?

Danny, come on.

Okay.

He's just the greatest guy.

How long have you been together?

Two months.

Oh, my god.

You're so happy, Katie.

I know.

Isn't it ridiculous?

I am so jealous.

I know, right?

Some girls get all the luck.

Okay, now where is he?

He's here.

Just getting me a drink.

Could you just die?

Mm-hm.

It's so stinking sweet.

And and I bet

he is drop-dead gorgeous too.

Oh, he's cute.

Oh, he's taking over his dad's

company in few years,

so he has a solid future

ahead of him.

Well, look who's gonna get

her Mrs degree.

Oh, stop.

Dum-dum-da-dum!

I hope so.

Okay, seriously,

where can I find someone

like that?

Oh, my god, Liz,

he is so not my type.

We were made partners

in English lit,

and one thing led to another.

You just gotta stay away

from the creeps.

You know I am a creep magnet.

Hey, babe.

See?

Okay!

In what world, friend...

Oh, no, I was just...

In what world...

Look, I'm sure you've heard

a lot about me.

It's not all true.

I haven't...

Listen, just because

you bring me a beer,

doesn't mean I'm gonna...

It's not for you.

Hop in the sack with you.

Look at you,

you're not even a gamma yet.

You're probably never

gonna be a gamma.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And where would you even expect

to take me?

Mommy's basement?

Don't flatter yourself.

Seriously,

it's never gonna happen.

Don't worry,

I have a girlfriend,

and you're not my type.

Mm-hm. Really?

Mm-hm. Yeah, really.

Come on, Darrin.

Awkward.

Have a great wedding.

Your face, my face.

Let's make it happen.

Ooh.

Never gonna happen.

Can you believe that guy?

He hit on me

like half and hour ago.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Frat boys.

All right, who's next?

I'll play.

Wait.

We'll get each other smashed.

Okay.

How about teams?

You two versus me and...

Joe.

Beer pong?

Yeah.

Hell, yeah.

Sure, girls against guys,

let's do it.

All right, let's do it.

That's really good.

How it's done.

Trust me I'm better.

Oh!

You know you're getting wasted.

Wasted!

- Why are you high-fiving him?

- I'm the one that made it...

Oh!

Drink. No, no, no.

Oh!

You're going down.

Game point, Mel.

All right. Relax.

I can't drink anymore,

so don't miss.

For the last, I got this.

Chill out.

Don't put your elbow

on the table.

I am going to kick your ass

if you don't shut up.

Oh!

It looks like someone

is finally loosening up.

Well, looks like I won.

Won what?

A drinking game

between me and Mindy.

Aah!

There was a drinking game

and I wasn't invited.

I thought you knew.

Hey, who wants to do

a keg stand?

Do it, Sarah.

Do it.

You're joking.

No. Aah!

Okay,

we triple-dog dare you.

Yeah, come on.

I'll be gentle.

Okay,

but you have to do one too.

Girl, you don't have

to ask me twice.

Be gentle.

You got it.

Hold my drink.

Mm.

Hold my dress.

Done.

All right.

All right. You ready.

Yeah.

Aah!

Whoa!

Oh. Okay.

I got it, I got it.

In your mouth.

Go, chug, chug.

She's a pro.

She's been doing this all night.

Whoa. You all right?

Let's go, Jake.

Yeah.

You ready?

Come on, keep going.

Ooh.

- Come on, pledge.

- Yes, sir.

Take it like a man.

- All right, frank. Get him up.

- Get him up there.

Come on, let's go. Drink it.

Go, frank.

Here we go. Okay.

Let's do it.

All right...

- Let's go, come on.

- Let's do this.

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Mindy, long time no see.

Oh, my god.

Shut the hell up, Sarah.

Come on.

There, off the stairs.

Guess what.

What?

I won beer pong,

and did a keg stand.

Congratulations.

I wrote down my score.

Goodness gracious.

There.

I'm at 47.

Honey, if you were at 47,

you'd be dead, you idiot.

Uh...

Right.

Tell me the score.

It's 11.

And you have?

Two.

You're doing the dishes,

shut the hell up, Sarah.

You're doing the dishes.

Shut up.

Oh, is Mindy windy

getting all mad?

Look, you won, okay?

You won. Game over.

Can we go home now?

Please, let's go home.

Look around, it's disgusting.

You're the one

who wanted to come here

in the first place, minster.

This whole contest

was your idea.

I didn't even wanna come.

Mm-hm.

And now I'm having a good time,

and you wanna leave?

I don't think so.

Come on.

Okay, come on.

Wanna stay?

Mm-hm.

That guy has been looking

at you all night.

I bet you could get a beer

from him.

Yeah, right there.

Who?

Right there, see him?

Right there.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Mm-hm.

Make it better:

I bet you a dollar

that you can't

get a beer from him.

You're on.

Is your father an astronaut?

Oh, don't.

Okay then.

Hi there.

Hi.

I'm Sarah.

Brian.

Are you having a good time

tonight?

I am now that you're here.

I like you. You're fun.

Excuse me. What do you think

you're doing?

Chanel, it's not what you think.

Are you talking to me?

Well, I ain't talking to myself.

Look, I'm over here

having a nice conversation

with a nice-looking guy,

and you have to come over here

and try to ruin it for me?

Why don't you turn

your skanky ass back around

and crawl back

from the rock you came out from.

Now, I know you didn't

just call my ass skanky.

Oh, yes, I did.

If the shoe fits, honey,

lace that b*tch right up.

How about I lace it up your ass?

How about

you get out of my face?

Hey, Sarah.

- Hi, Mindy.

- Hey.

I did what you told me to.

I came over here

and I flirted with Brian.

But this skank came over here

and ruined my chances.

I know you're not talking

about me.

Oh, yes, I am.

Look, mayor of munchkin land,

she's drunk, can't you see that?

She's drunk.

Yeah. And your friend has been

flirting with my man all night.

Oh, honey, I bet he was thinking

about you the whole time.

So get over it.

Mindy, you told me

he was staring at me all night.

Oh. Oh, you did,

did you?

Well, let me tell you something.

He doesn't ever have to look

at anybody else.

- You know why?

- Why?

Because I got a job at Hooters.

Doing what? Washing dishes?

What the hell is so funny?

You wash dishes

because your tits...

What the hell is wrong with you?

Tiny-titty b*tches.

Oh, my god.

Aah! What?

- Chanel!

- Sarah, Sarah.

Okay, okay, I know.

Mindy...

Okay, I know, I know. I know.

I'm all wet.

Okay, let's clean you up first.

Yeah, no, no, it's okay.

Hey, baby.

Wanna get lei'd?

I thought you'd never ask.

Get a room.

You wanna?

Okay.

Can you believe her?

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