What Just Happened Page #4

I badgered them. It was a special order

because it was a white shag carpet.

- You know

- Carl, I don't get white shag.

You gotta be kidding me.

I wouldn't be caught dead with shag.

You said it went well

with the black chairs.

- That's why you ordered white shag.

- You're right, okay. I stand corrected.

- Really?

- Yes. I'm in the editing room. It's okay.

JEREMY:

Oh, f***ing...!

You may not realize this now.

but I was protecting you

and our movie in that office.

I went out, man. I really went out.

I can see that,

but maybe that's a good thing.

No. No, I went out.

I had 11 months 22 days,

mate, right?

I had no drugs, I had no alcohol...

till after that meeting

with that cow Lou.

and your assassin in training,

your assistant.

he decides to give me an Ativan.

Well, one Ativan

doesn't sound so terrible.

Yeah, right.

Try following it up with three Dilaudids

scored from a barman.

and all washed down

with rum and Cokes, right?

Okay, then, you needed a release.

It can happen to anyone.

No, look, look.

I was seven days away

from getting a cake, man.

Right? A cake for a year sober.

Me, a cake.

And you and your diabolical

bloody naked treachery.

took that away from me.

- No, that's not true.

- Not true.

- Come on, Jeremy.

- Not true.

- Jeremy.

JEREMY:
Ow!

- How's that?

- That's not necessary.

Shouldn't we save this high drama

for the big screen?

Yeah, or that one,

the one that my blood's in.

- I know that, and I'm the producer.

- My blood on that film, right?

Blood that goes all the way back

to a Jewish ghetto in Vilna...

a little shtetl.

How could you possibly understand

anything like that?

Let me get you a Valium.

Just for now. It's not that I don't

But we're on a deadline.

This is for us, these changes.

Can I have a couple of Vicodin

instead?

Sure, easy.

- Go get three of them, Ben.

- Three? Coming up.

Yeah, get me My office

to get three Vicodin.

and bring them to the cutting room

right away.

Let's put that down.

[AUDIO SCRUBBING]

Jeremy, look, we're gonna need you

to dig deep on this one.

You can do it.

We get our victory in Cannes.

I get these bastards to spend a lot

and distribute this movie properly.

- You can do it.

- It's just so f***ing hard for me, man.

I mean, you know, it's my work.

It's all I've got.

Trust me, once you make

these cuts and trims.

and take out that damn dead dog,

you will feel cleansed.

You will forget the pain.

[GUNSHOT]

It's okay.

As long as we do a viewing together

before we leave, okay?

- Call me anytime you want.

- Okay. I will, Ben.

Give me a hug.

[JEREMY SOBBING]

I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay.

- That's okay.

- I'm sorry, Ben.

No, don't look.

I'm so scared, Ben.

We're on a deadline,

so let's get to work.

Okay? Let's get to work.

BEN:
Cal, Cal, relax.

I'm coming to see Bruce.

No, no, you're not listening.

I'm driving on the 405 as we speak.

Five minutes away.

I'm driving right over the

Relax, I'm going over the hill.

I'll be there in a minute.

It doesn't matter. It'll be fine.

MAN [ON STEREO]:
This is Fiercely.

Cue one and one, take one.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING

ON STEREO]

MAN:
I need grips and I need stand-ins.

Come on.

CAL:
Ten minutes

was an hour and a half ago.

- We got a crisis here.

- Lot of traffic, lot of traffic.

I saw Moses through the window.

What's the status of the beard?

CAL:
I don't know.

- Did you tell him he has to shave?

CAL:
I'm gonna bring it up,

but I just haven't done it yet.

BEN:
We start shooting Friday.

Today is Tuesday.

CAL:
I'm the director,

I know what day it is.

I suppose it took a long time

to grow it.

Probably wants to wait

till the last minute.

That's what I thought,

but after seeing him today.

I got the sense

that this is his look.

- It's an artistic choice.

- The extra weight is too?

- It can't be.

CAL:
It's a feeling.

Cal, we got the studio to pay him

$20 million to be a leading man.

For that kind of money,

there is an expectation.

CAL:
They expect a good performance.

- No, no, no, Cal.

For that kind of money,

they expect millions of women.

to want intercourse with him.

Do you understand

what I'm saying?

You want a poster that says,

"See Santa run"?

Okay. Okay.

MAN 1:

We need more 4-by-8 plywood here.

BEN:
Okay.

MAN 2:
Watch your back.

- Okay, let's go tell him to shave.

- Okay.

Okay. He'll shave, okay?

Especially if he hears it from you.

That's the hope.

BRUCE:

Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!

Motherfuckers!

We are talking about my f***ing

artistic integrity here, goddamn it.

My artistic integrity, okay?

Audiences wanna know it's you,

Bruce. They expect it.

And we're talking about

a lot of money here.

What are you talking about?

They're not gonna recognize me?

"Where'd Bruce go, huh?

Can't see Bruce no more.

Where's my favorite movie star?

Oh, look, there he is.

I see him right there,

the guy with the beard."

Yes, but there's a

You know,

this is a certain demographic

that has to be served, Bruce.

That's the business.

You have to do it.

I mean, that's just a fact.

It's about falling in love with a hero.

There's a tradition to this stuff, Bruce,

there just is.

- Oh, I see, we're talking about p*ssy.

- More or less.

I understand, I understand.

P*ssy's good.

Let me tell you a funny story.

I've been growing this for six months.

I've been knocking off trim 24/7,

and never one f***ing complaint.

- Maybe we should listen to

- Shut up.

Hollywood producer, my ass.

I should've seen this mentality coming.

Really, should've seen it coming.

Never a doubt. Never a f***ing doubt.

BEN:
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.

Come here and talk, Bruce.

Bruce, Bruce, come on.

- You wanna talk about integrity?

- Let's talk about integrity.

- Let's talk about f***ing integrity.

- Let's go. Okay, let's go.

Let's talk about integrity.

I'm willing to stack my three

last pictures against your three.

How about that, huh?

Let's talk about integrity.

You don't have three pictures.

You don't have any.

You know why?

Because you're a f***ing producer.

Well, why don't we start.

by giving your overblown salary

to the f***ing Red Cross?

- That would show me some integrity.

- What? What?

Sorry.

Motherfuckers.

F***ing babies!

Can't f***ing believe this sh*t.

No, no, no, you shouldn't

wear any beards.

How about this?

Why don't we just not have clothes

in the f***ing movies anymore?

How about f***ing paying for that?

I never realized

how strongly he felt about it.

I think he wants it.

BRUCE:
This here's your f***ing chair.

How's that?

You motherfuckers.

Will somebody fix this f***ing door?

Jesus Christ.

You happy now

that you got my pressure up?

You f***ing

BEN:
Well, somehow

I don't think he expects to shave.

CAL:
You know, in a very early draft,

the script mentioned he had a beard.

- A very early draft.

- Yeah.

Hey, now that video's done,

we won't be needing that sh*t.

Blow me, you motherfuckers!

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