What Love Is Page #12

Tell her, don't forget!

Um, would you maybe wanna

go out with me sometime

and get an ice-cream cone

or something?

An ice-cream cone?

Yeah,

or the observatory

or color me mine.

Course I would, George.

I think that would be fun.

Wow, great.

George, the booze.

The booze, George!

She'll think I'm celebrating!

Yeah, I got it.

Need help?

No, I got it.

I put my number under yellow

in the thing,

so if you want to call me,

or if late at night

there's ever a scary noise

and you don't have anyone

to call, then you can call me.

Thanks, George.

Yeah.

George! Come on, man!

I better get going.

Yeah, okay, well, goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh, sh*t.

And thanks for having us, tom.

Oh.

I really had a good time.

No problem, Amy.

No problem, thanks for coming.

You figured out

what you're gonna do yet?

Hm. Wanna know the truth?

Not a clue.

Then I think that you should

probably close this door...

No.

... And not really open it

until you've thought

of what you'll say.

You don't understand.

She's outside right now,

she's trying to find parking

and she's gonna

come in here and...

how about "I love you"?

Excuse me?

What about telling her

you love her, tom?

Well, that's great

and everything.

It is, Amy, it is,

but, uh,

you know, it's...

it's not that simple.

I mean... I mean,

it isn't like

we haven't said that

a million times before,

you know?

I just, uh, I...

I just don't think that means

anything to anybody right now.

What are you talking about?

I mean, it's true, isn't it?

Either people

say it too much,

or they don't

really mean it.

I mean, it's just words

to me now.

Well, maybe that's because

you don't really know

what those words mean yourself.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know what love

really is, tom?

Love is a one-way street

going from you out.

And you give it because

it makes you feel good.

'Cause when you give it,

it makes you strong.

And that crazy, vulnerable,

out-of-control,

scary feeling,

the feeling that

most people think is love?

It's not really love at all.

It's just the need to be loved.

And believe me,

it's a very different thing.

Real love isn't, "I love you,"

hoping the other person's

gonna say, "I love you, too. "

It's just, "I love you. "

It's like giving someone

a gift at Christmas

and if you get anything back,

that's a bonus, that's extra.

But you shouldn't need

to receive it

'cause the true strength

is in the giving of it.

But then again,

that's just what I think.

But what do I know? Heh.

I don't know anything.

Hi.

Hi.

Looks like you had

a few people over tonight.

Yeah, well,

it's Valentine's day, remember?

You know, as hard as I tried,

I couldn't figure out a way

to get those two bags

into my car.

You want a drink

or something?

Look, okay, Sara, look,

look at me for a second,

all right? For a second.

I know you got

a lot on your mind.

I know you got a lot of things

to figure out.

And, uh, heh,

up until very recently,

I thought...

I thought I needed you here

with me in my life

for me to feel the way

I feel about you.

But just all of a sudden,

I just...

I suddenly realize I don't.

I mean, I-I want us

to be together and everything.

But I just realized I don't

need you here with me

in order for me

to love you

'cause I'm always

gonna love you.

And if you were to leave

and go to China for six months,

I'm still gonna love you.

And if you gain 50 pounds,

I'm still gonna love you.

And you know what?

After this moment,

if I never see you again,

I'm still gonna love you.

And if you don't feel

that way about me,

I know it's gotta be

tough on you 'cause...

It's... it's been

hell on me as it is,

and I know you're the greatest

thing that ever was.

And I'm just lucky

to have spent

the last three years

of my life with you.

But I do love you, tom.

I know.

Maybe I should stay

and we can talk.

No, no, no,

I think you should go.

I think you should go

and figure out

whatever it is

you got to figure out.

And if you want to come back,

come back. Heh.

And if you don't,

that's cool, too.

But whatever happens,

you gotta know

that you're the love

of my life,

and I'm just lucky

to have known you.

Good night, Sara.

Hey, tom.

Kitchen's clean.

Good.

Snap on the stereo.

We're gonna make

two more dirty glasses.

What exactly is the story

with that guy?

Hmm.

Strange you should ask.

Hmm?

He's got a cock

the size of Florida.

That's what I hear.

But his tongue.

What does he do

with his tongue?

I hear he can part his hair

with his tongue.

Really?

Must be the yoga.

Ah.

Downward-facing

doggy style.

Yeah. He told me he could

lick his a**hole.

He did.

He did, I swear to god.

Cut.

Didn't you say that earlier?

I had... hey, I had no part

in the whole...

you spend so much of your time

going to places you never go,

trying not to run into

people you do know,

it's just...

it's not practical.

Besides...

Rockets to the moon.

This chocolate looks good.

Cut.

We're ready to rock.

Let's do it.

Everybody ready?

You're goddamn right.

Let's roll.

And... Action.

Come on!

Because...

You only live once...

And, you know, life is...

So short.

And if you do it right

and you live it right,

once...

Can be enough.

Wow.

What?

I didn't expect that the scene

was gonna go that way.

Can be enough.

You can't lean in that close

to give me a...

why?! You told me to!

Because...

no, but not that close.

Okay!

Because then

I'm pulling away.

I-I gotta lean into you.

You said get up

in your face.

I'm... you know.

All right, let's do it.

To the best ensemble

in a bathroom.

The best potty performance

you'll ever see.

Oh, please.

Are you getting this

over there?

Yeah, don't worry.

F***!

All right, listen up, people.

I have one thing

to say about this last take.

I loved it,

but I'll never use it.

Oh, my god, Sal's gay.

Hey! Hey! God!

See what happens

when you try to be nice?

Pervert grabs your ass,

friends think you're a fag.

So much for f***ing Karma.

You got to get down there

and just kind of argh!

Kind of argh!

Kind of argh!

Gotta get in there

and just waa!

I cannot tell you

the positive a...

I cannot tell you

what a positive a...

I mean, really, you gotta

get in there and...

"Waa!"

"Waa!"

Kind of "whaaa!"

Just kind of "yeow!"

I cannot tell you

what a positive attitude

will do for a blowj*b.

Got it.

Got to be able to take it all.

Take it all?

Want perfection, don't you?

What if he's like Shaq?

I mean, I'm a small girl.

You have to learn

to unhinge.

Unhinge-unhinge

like a f***ing python,

because you'll never be queen

unless you learn

to swallow the king!

Goddamn it, you have got

to learn to unhinge

like a motherfucking python.

You will never be

the queen

unless you learn

to swallow the king!

You've got to unhinge

like a f***ing python!

Let me tell you something.

You have got to learn

to unhinge like a f***ing py...

well...

well, then, honey,

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