What Other Couples Do Page #3

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Oh, yeah. Lisa's a good little orderer.

Um...

Did I tell you guys that I'm going

to London, with Josh and Trey?

I thought you weren't going.

We did a spreadsheet on how much she'd spend

in London and how much she'd spend here...

and we think she'd spend more here.

Because there would be no controls.

Yeah, because women

are stupid spendthrifts.

It's just that you want more.

They don't want more, they want everything.

They want to go to all the new restaurants...

they want all the best clothes, they want to take the best

vacations, they want to get all the best personal trainers...

You don't like new restaurants?

Well, yeah, but...

And you don't wanna take great vacations?

Well, yes, of course, but that's not...

We help you lead fuller lives.

(Michelle) Yes.

(Lisa) Yeah.

(Ryan) Hey. So what's your script about?

Ah, which one?

I was talking about the spec script that

you sold, but uh, how many do you have?

Well, when that one went out, everyone

went nuts and wanted meetings with us...

So, of course, we had this backlog

of ideas we wanted to pitch...

(Josh) So, we're working on an animated film

at Pixar, Spielberg wants to do a comedy...

(Josh) So, we're writing

something for him, and...

(Josh) We're working on a

project we would direct ourselves.

(Josh) Paramount would finance. Nothing

huge, but they want to be in business with us

And, one of our TV episodes

was nominated for an Emmy.

(Ryan) Oh, that's great.

Congratulations.

That's great news.

You know what? I'm going to go open one of the

bottles we brought. Anybody need anything else?

(Ryan) I'm going to get ours, too.

(Ryan) I wanna read

that spec script he sold.

We should ask him.

Nah, because, he'll think that we have a chip on our

shoulder, that we just wanna see if it's good. I'm telling ya.

How could it be? Have you

seen his show? It's so hacky.

Eight hundred thousand dollars.

It's 'cause he's self-confident.

Confidence is everything in this town.

I'm self-confident, hanh?

I got a two-bedroom

teardown in the Valley.

Yeah, but Studio City's cool.

It's not really the Valley.

Don't patronize me. Alright? When we trade

up, we'll move to the west side, alright?

We like the Valley, we're very middle-class. When I bought

Bree the Volvo, she acted like she'd won the lottery.

Must be nice to have a wife you can please.

She's the best.

(Lisa) I have to do something about it...

(Josh) It's humbling

just to be nominated...

(Lisa) They have sticky things...

(Chris) Right. And it

might not happen again...

(Brad) Bree? Bree? That's an unusual name.

Yeah, my mom had just seen "Klute."

Really? Your mom must be very

interesting, to name you after a hooker.

(Brad) I mean, um, uh, a prostitute.

Is "Klute" good? I haven't seen that.

(under her breath) Never seen "Klute"?!

So, how'd you two meet?

I was working on a film

that shot in Austin.

Crew?

No, no, I'm an actor.

Mm. Big role? Small one?

As actors, we're taught to believe

that there are no small roles.

Right. So, small. What movie?

(Brad) "Spaceman."

Mm. I read the script.

Well. I read the first 10 pages. It was

actually so bad, I couldn't finish it.

(Chris) How old are you?

Twenty-six.

That's young.

Yeah. He knows nothing about

the heartache of soft erections.

(the others laugh)

(Josh) Wow.

Plus, everyone our age is married. So...

Yeah, but not all these marriages are going

to last. I mean, the divorce rate is 50%.

(Music starts)

My wife. Twelve years we've been together.

Yeah. And what's great about it is... and it kinda gets me

choked up a little bit... we're very supportive of each other.

We look out for each other,

try to make each other happy.

Like, lately, she's been giving me

a lot of blow jobs. Which is awesome.

(Ryan) And it's occurred to her that maybe blow jobs are

fattening, because she's been gaining a little weight.

The other day we're lying in bed and she says to me,

"Look, I'm thinking that maybe sperm has a lot of calories."

(Ryan) So, I immediately go

into problem-solving mode.

I'm like, "Why don't you

start skipping lunch?"

That was mean.

That's hilarious,

what're you talking about?

Funny, Ryan.

I'm just gonna play you guys

the first few notes, okay?

(Josh) Oh, hey, hey, hey...

Thank you.

(An opera song begins and plays for

several moments while they listen)

(Bree turns off the opera song)

Did you guys get chills?

(they laugh)

Are you serious?! How are you

guys not affected by that song?

It was really beautiful, Bree.

(Lisa) It was gorgeous.

Hey, you guys wanna play poker?

Yes!

Yes.

No. It's too late to start a game. It's

ten o'clock, we have to stop drinking.

No. No one stop drinking. You guys have to spend

the night. Everyone should stay here, tonight.

(Josh) Really?

(Lisa) Yeah. What's the point

of having this big house, right?

Alright.

Call your mom.

It's been so long since

I've gotten shitfaced!

We can play poker all night,

and watch the sun rise...

I feel alive. I'm alive, honey.

Stop feeling alive.

I'm alive!

Don't feel sorry for me.

We don't feel sorry for you.

We feel bad for you.

That's funny. Because I feel bad for you.

Why?!

Well, neither of you

seem very happy right now.

Me and Michelle?

Why are you singling us out?

Ryan and Bree are happy.

Well... yeah... we're happy. But...

What makes you think

Dave and I aren't happy?

Seriously?

Bree said earlier that you guys were like the

couple in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?".

I mean, earlier, my

stomach hurt, so I was...

Great, so everybody thinks we're a mess.

Oh, we don't think you're a mess...

Look, I get it. You've

got young kids. It's hard.

Josh and I are trying to get pregnant.

Of course you are.

What does that mean?

I just feel like we're all making

the same mistakes our parents made.

You're on shaky ground so you

want to throw kids into the mix?

You think I'm on shaky ground?

You know how Josh acts like he's being funny because

he's smiling or making some sort of joke but...

really he's just criticizing you?

Yeah.

It seems like he doesn't respect you.

(Michelle mouths, "What the...?" to Bree)

Well... he has really high expectations

of everyone, himself included.

So, he's critical. But I

think that he respects me.

I know he respects me.

That a**hole. He doesn't respect me!

Well, maybe he does, I don't know?

No! No, he doesn't, I know he doesn't.

Well, why don't you talk to him about it? If

you call him on it, he's gonna have to change.

That's optimistic.

I know you're into positive thinking and the power of intention

and all that sh*t, but sometimes it's just not realistic.

(Ginger) What are you doing?

I'm gonna do a spreadsheet, to

see if I can afford to leave him.

Nooo! Wait, that was just my opinion.

Hey, I could be totally wrong. Everybody

knows I'm a little screwed up right now.

When we're done with her, let's do me. I

think I can get some money from my parents.

You don't want to get a divorce.

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