What Other Couples Do Page #4

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Yeah, you do not want to get a divorce.

Dave and I are really

having problems right now.

Listen, I get it, okay?

You love your kids...

They're the best thing

that ever happened to me.

But they're at an age where

they require constant attention.

And it doesn't matter how much you love

them, there's a part of you that is angry.

(Ginger) Because you

don't have a life anymore.

(Ginger) I know. So you start taking it out

on the person closest to you... your spouse.

You know, I read this book

about how, in some cultures...

couples don't even pretend they can stay together

for the first 5 years of the child's life.

(Bree) So, the man... he leaves the home

and he goes and sleeps somewhere else...

and he just comes home to, you know, make repairs

to the thatched hut and give the wife money.

And the woman... she gives all her attention to the child,

and her mother and sisters and aunts help her raise it.

That's pretty smart. Most

American women, though,

would not be okay with their husband sleeping with

another woman while we have to deal with the kids.

Dave can be really annoying.

He does all these little things.

Everybody does all these little things.

Look. I know he's a good person.

And I love him and I wish him well.

But what would be perfect is if we were

really rich and could have two houses...

so we could live near each

other but not together.

Which would lead to divorce. Because why would you

be married to someone if you can live without them?

Or, yeah, we'd get divorced. But we'd stay friends, and

I'd hire two nannies, so I could have round-the-clock help.

Which would lead to you never seeing your kids.

So you'd feel guilty and you would indulge them...

and then they would just be more and

more demanding and you'd all be miserable.

I feel really overwhelmed.

(Chris) So, is this about the

Emmy thing you were talking about?

(Josh) This guy, he's out of control.

He helped you with that?

(Josh) Yeah, he helped

me. Makes all this money...

When he signed the deal with

ABC, they backed the truck up.

Yeah, he is loaded. And now everyone's kissing

his ass. Actresses who audition for his show...

and there he is, stuck with his college sweetheart,

whom he thought was the best he was ever going to do.

She's cute.

Yeah, but she's not beautiful. I

mean, he could have his pick now.

Yeah, but do you really wanna be with someone

who's only with you because you have money?

A young guy's perspective. Probably when we're that old,

we'll settle for getting a beautiful woman any way we can.

What're you talking about? Are

you planning on being single?

Hey. It's touch-and-go

at my house.

It's great being young, huh? The women

are more fun? Easier to please, I guess.

That's what makes them not fun. Women

your age, they're harder to satisfy.

I guess I like the challenge.

(the others laugh, cynical)

You just have to get through

the next couple of years.

The kids will get easier.

And in the meantime, you have to remember

why you married Dave to begin with.

And yes... you have to make

yourself have sex with him.

No. I have nooo desire. None.

We don't have sex either.

I just don't care about it. At all.

Okay. Well, it will be

your problem eventually.

I mean, you can't tell a guy, "Hey, we're married,

and you can never have sex with anyone else again."

"Oh, and by the way, you can

never have sex with me again."

I mean, eventually he's going to

decide that that's a bunch of bullshit

and he's gonna find somebody

else to have sex with.

(Bree) The oppressed will rise up.

Is that what happened with you and Chris?

Do you think he was justified

in having the affair?

No.

At least, I would never tell him that.

But yeah, we didn't have sex. I

just, I just didn't feel like it.

But he's so good-looking.

I'm just saying...

I mean, if she didn't feel

like having sex with Chris...

how am I supposed to feel

like having sex with Dave?

(Lisa) That's so mean!

What? It's just sometimes I look at

him and he already seems middle-aged.

Well, we almost are. It's not that far off.

Actually, I read this

book by Desmond Morris...

that says men's waists

expand as they get older...

and their shoulders get

more narrow and rounded...

and this is all part of

nature's grand plan...

so that they will be less

attractive to other women...

so that they will stay with their

wives and help raise the children.

How do you find time to read all this sh*t?

Dave is awesome.

I find him very attractive.

I love Dave. He's... he's great.

He would freak if he heard this.

You should tell him.

Yeah, why don't you, if

it'd give him a boost?

No.

(Bree) Why?

Because. I don't want to give him power.

- (Lisa) Michelle!

- (Ginger) Ohh!

(Michelle) What?

Okay, that's bitchy.

I guess I'm in a bad place right now.

Yeah.

Obviously I am, too.

Why else would I be hanging out

with a 26-year-old actor in Malibu?

I love Malibu.

Tell us about the sex. With the actor.

No, you do not get to

ask questions about sex.

(Bree) Why not?

Because you're not willing to

reveal anything about yourself.

I will tell you anything you

want to know about my sex life.

Yeah. You and Ryan have good sex. We know.

I'm saying you won't talk

about other guys, ever.

Like, you won't even admit

it if somebody else is hot.

It's as if that's cheating on Ryan.

I know it's not cheating.

(Michelle) Of course it's not!

But, it's a little bit of a betrayal.

How is it a betrayal?!

Obviously, George Clooney

was hot in "The American."

Okay? And it probably wouldn't be

unpleasant to have sex with him.

Everybody knows that, including Ryan.

So, I just don't think it's a big deal to

acknowledge what everybody else knows to be true.

Was that good, "The American"?

We didn't see that one.

How does Josh write movies

when he's never seen one?

We see movies all the time.

But you just studiously

avoid the good ones?

Just because we don't see the kind of

movies you see... you're a snob, Bree.

Am I? Or are you people just disappointing?

Jon Stewart.

He's great.

(Michelle) Yeah, I know he's great but do you

ever think it'd be fun to have sex with him?

Michelle.

Jason Bateman!

No, stop, I'm going to break her.

(Michelle) Matt Damon. In "The Bourne Identity."

When he's washing Franke Potente's hair.

She's cute!

He can kill anyone with his bare hands. But

he's a good person, and he barely ever speaks...

which is so hot. And when he

does, he says the perfect thing.

He's got very good dialogue.

Tony Gilroy wrote it.

No, don't do that. This is not

a discussion of the script, 'kay.

I'm saying, Matt Damon in all the

Bourne movies is hot as hell...

and you know you've thought

about having sex with him...

and I demand that you admit it!

C'mon, just admit it!

I will happily admit that I

want to have sex with other guys.

Every person in a relationship

wants to have sex with other people.

So what! Who cares? It's human nature!

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