What Other Couples Do Page #5

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I think we can assume she

finds other guys attractive.

I'll reveal something personal.

When Ryan and I have sex,

I can't look into his eyes.

At least not for more

than a couple of seconds.

It's like it's too intimate or something.

(Michelle) Let's get donuts.

Just put off getting married for as

long as you can, that's all we're saying.

Well, no, get married whenever you

want, just, you know, choose wisely.

Oh, no sh*t. Choose as if

your life depended on it.

You're not thinking about that now, right?

Marriage?

No. No. You know, I'm...

Twenty-six.

This f***ing guy, huh?

(Josh) Oh, I know, right?

I would kill to be 26 again.

I wouldn't screw it up this time.

I'd show everybody how it's done.

What is that dance?

It's the 'how you do it' dance.

(the others laugh)

Did you get your medicine today, or no?

(the others laugh)

(Music plays)

Look at all these cool people.

I never meet anyone. I'm always cooped up

in that stupid house or running errands.

Your house is awesome.

You should be grateful.

I know. You're right.

We're all really blessed.

I know. We are really, really fortunate.

You see that guy?

(Lisa) Yeah.

I'd f*** him.

Really?

(Michelle) Yep.

You know who I think is hot?

Brad.

I know.

(Lisa laughs)

Ginger is so lucky. I mean, she's not

lucky, she's getting a divorce, but...

Ah... Chris is so good-looking...

and now she gets to have sex with Brad.

Do you ever wish you could just put

your marriage on hold for a little while?

Be single again, you know, just for a

little bit, then go back to being married.

Probably nobody would go back.

I just miss feeling excited,

about anything, you know?

When you meet somebody new,

it's so exciting, those feelings.

It's like when you were in high school...

and you would be going to a party...

and you didn't know if a guy that

you liked was going to be there but...

...you just didn't know what was going to happen.

Would you get to talk to him, would you get to make out?

We used to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

We never did that! I'm so bummed!

It was awesome.

Hey, you guys?

Yeah?

I have an idea, but, uh,

Bree, you're not gonna approve.

Yeah?

When we get back to the house, let's tell the

guys we want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

(Lisa laughs)

(Michelle squeals)

Wait. You mean the game

where you go in the...

Yes!

(Ginger) Okay. (laughs)

(Lisa) Yes!

(Bree) Seriously?

We have an idea.

It's kind of unorthodox.

Unorthodox. Where'd you get that?

What do you mean?

I've never heard you use that word before.

I read books, Josh! More than

you do, and you're a writer!

We want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

What's that?

Isn't that the thing where you...

It's a game where two people go in a

closet and make out for seven minutes.

Okay, but... I can make out

with you anytime I want to,

and I don't have to go in a closet

and I don't have to do it

for the full seven minutes.

(the others laugh)

I'm not talking about spouses with spouses.

We're talking about random pairings.

What the hell are you talking about?

(Lisa and Michelle)

Seven Minutes in Heaven!

You wanna play this game?

Seven Minutes in the Closet?

Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Whatever.

No. Do you?

No. Hell no. These people are nuts.

I know, I know. Apparently we're boring.

You wanna play?!

No! Do you?!

No!

Michelle thinks we're fearful

and naive. We're not adventurous.

Being adventurous is, like, riding

a motorcycle across South America...

that's adventurous.

Letting another guy make out

with your wife... that's stupid.

Wikipedia.

Seven Minutes in Heaven is a kissing

game first played by teenagers

in Cincinnati in the early 1950s.

See? Midwesterners know how to party

because their winters are so long.

(the others laugh)

Two people selected go into a closet

or another dark enclosed space...

and do whatever they

like for seven minutes.

(Chris) Mm-hm.

This is what you wanna do?

Yeah.

So, are you guys in?

No./Okay./No./Yes.

Okay./No./Okay./No.

If we did this, you'd regret

it and you'd be jealous...

and I'd hear about it til the day I die.

Don't flatter yourself.

O-kay. Okay.

I'm in. What about you two? Are you in?

No.

No.

C'mon. Either we all do

it or none of us plays.

We're not gonna play.

We're not going to play.

(Michelle) Unh...

So, should we still play?

Yeah.

(Lisa) Yeah.

Can I talk to you for a second?

O-kay.

(Josh) You're in trouble.

Look at that view.

I want a pool.

Are you crazy?

I just wanna do something

different. Unpredictable.

Every day I wake up and

I do the exact same thing.

I try to get some writing done

but mostly I just change diapers...

and clean up after the kids and straighten

up the house and feed the kids...

and read 'em a bedtime story and then

spend hours trying to put Chloe to sleep...

and then I wake up the next day and do the

exact same thing except maybe I go to Target.

If I seriously stopped to think about

what my life has become, I would freak out.

You wanted kids.

Dave, I love Emma and Chloe. They're the

best thing that ever happened to me...

Stop saying that. Obviously

you don't really feel that way.

If you think for a second that I

don't adore them, then you're crazy.

Why else would I do everything for them?

Then why can't you do

everything for them happily?

You have to complain about

it every step of the way.

Why can't you be one of those

women that's, just, you know, happy?

Because it's hard!

No, it isn't. You just decide you're

going to be happy and then you do it!

You know? Sometimes a person

just has to have self-control.

It's not like you're Mr. Sunshine,

walking around all cheerful.

Because my wife is always dissatisfied.

It's human nature to want more.

I'm not sexist, you know I'm not,

but I think this is a gender thing.

Women always want more.

Well, I can think of one

thing men always want more of.

Sex.

And now here's your chance.

What, we're gonna have

sex with these people?

It's a kissing game.

Why can't we play Cranium?

Dave. This is your chance

to make out with someone.

It's YOUR chance to make out with someone.

What do you care?!

I walk around with food in my

teeth and you don't even tell me...

because you don't notice because

you don't even look at me!

Remember when I got my hair cut and you didn't notice

but you noticed when you got the credit card bill?

Because it was two hundred dollars!

I know!

I think we have problems.

Everybody has problems.

Ryan and Bree are happy.

They don't have kids.

You wanted kids!

I'm just saying their life is one

continuous round of pleasure...

restaurants, movies, reading every issue

of the New Yorker from cover to cover.

It's actually a pretty selfish existence.

We had problems before we had kids.

No.

Yeah. Well.

If you don't want to play Seven

Minutes in Heaven, we won't.

God, that name... it's so corny.

Of course Ryan and Bree aren't playing.

So?

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