What We Do in the Shadows Page #8

Meet some of our friends.

Anton, Deacon.

Hi, Anton.

I must have blacked out.

And then, I remember,

- an ambulance.

- He's going into shock.

O'Leary. O'Leary!

Yeah, coming!

- Okay, calm down, mate.

- Calm down.

Looks like rabies, doesn't it?

And I don't know how long after that was,

but like, woke up.

And it was daytime.

And I couldn't find my clothes.

Those werewolves guys...

... eventually found me.

And they had some,

they like, lent me some pants.

So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me.

Cause I was quite confused.

Yeah, these are the guys who, um,

turned me into a werewolf.

You knit your own jersey?

- Yes.

- Oh, yeah?

- I knit.

- Is that the moon, or?

- Yes.

- Hopefully, we won't, you know...

Ah, this is a nice place.

Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or...

... pee on anything.

We were worried at first, you know, we thought

'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.'

But they actually are really polite and pretty clean.

There was obviously that werewolves smell,

which permeated the entire house

for the first half an hour.

But we opened some windows and

got rid of that.

'What a stupid suggestion, their idea,' I thought.

No way.

You know, walking into the vampire's den.

That's ludicrous.

That's my hand.

But I thought, we'll give it a shot.

You know, I'm the alpha male,

so I made the call.

I'm the alpha male.

- Yes.

- So, generally...

... all of the other guys follow me.

- For Stu!

- For STU!

Thanks guys.

What have you done to your face?

I got attacked by some werewolves.

Army is a werewolf.

Seemed like a very nice person.

So, Katherine is a vampire now.

- Yes.

- We decide to get together.

We just thought, the hell with it, you know.

What have we got to lose?

I was just sitting, doing nothing,

and he came floating in and over to me,

and I recognized him.

It was wonderful.

And then I bit you on the neck.

That's right.

And I don't mind being a vampire.

I'm enjoying it.

Some people freak out a bit

about the age difference.

Uh, they think,

'what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy,

for times her age.'

- And, you know, I don't care...

- It doesn't make any difference.

No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares.

I decided to bite her and

we're gonna be together forever.

- Wonderful.

- Yeah.

Pauline and I are tentatively back together.

But it's not long before

you remember why it was we

broke up in the first place.

We start in our bedroom,

and I need that totally boarded up or

blacked out somehow.

My husband is my familiar.

So, there has been a dynamic shift there.

You could buy a Bedazzler.

So you write that down. That's B-E-D...

I feel like I'm where I need to be now.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Great.

But I am your Master.

- Okay?

- Yeah.

Yeah, these guys have to laugh

at my jokes, right guys?

Yeah!

That is a good one.

I always look round to

make sure they're all laughing.

Like, if I see one of them is not

quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!'

'You laughing?',

and often I'll test you.

- What are you laughing at, Justin?

- Hey?

- What are you laughing at now?

- Just then?

- Yeah, yeah, but what?

Oh, I don't know.

Ah, test failed! Test failed!

You're laughing now.

What are you laughing at now though?

I don't know cause...

Ah, another failure!

Well, what are you laughing at Stu?

Oh, I was laughing with the group.

Yep, that's good. That's good, yeah.

Just pay attention. Pay attention.

Laugh with the group.

You will not remember the last hour and a half,

of what you have just seen.

You will forget...

... the contents of this movie.

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