Whatever It Takes Page #5

- Get out of here! What did you see? | - Nothing! You said I could join you.

- I wasn't serious! Get out! | - Okay!

Now then, where were we?

Damn! What happened to your feet?

It's just a rash.

It's a crazy world. Anything can happen.

If you shouldn't get away...

I mean ifsomething should keep us apart...

...wherever they put you, | and wherever I'll be, I want you to know.

Kiss me. | Kiss me as ifit were the last time.

I wonder if Maggie | and Chris have done it yet.

Could we not talk about her?

If they haven't, they will.

Then Chris will dump her | like all the others.

We could do this some other time.

Maybe, when you're more up to it.

Casablanca. It works.

What's up? Hey Chris, you got a second?

No, I got to go meet Carter | for some quality time.

- How's she doing? | - Well, she's getting there.

What's that supposed to mean?

You did good, Brian. I got it from here.

Don't worry, Brian. He'll treat her right.

So, what do you think? | For the grade school.

- Can I help? | - No.

Where's Maggie? I thought | you knew each other's every move.

So did I.

You want to play with the puppets?

Not a chance.

- You can change your mind. | - That's okay.

Ash, can we talk for a second? | I got... Thank you.

Excuse me.

This cake is terrible!

You didn't like it?

- It was terrible. | - I'm so sorry, Ashley.

Do I know you?

We go to school together. I'm Miranda.

Good. Can you get me your manager? | Thanks.

I'll just pay for it myself.

Loser!

- What makes her a loser? | - Nothing. She just is a loser.

- Then what would make her a winner? | - Hello. Nothing.

A tiger can't just change his spots.

Just be glad that you're a winner, like me.

What? She is a fatty round little waitress.

Now, you tell me | what could make her a winner?

- Okay, I'll tell you how. | - Tell me.

- I will. | - Tell me.

I will, if you'd stop your petty, | self-important whining for just one second!

You know what? I can't do this anymore.

Is this because of the cake? | Because I didn't like the cake?

All right, you know what? | I'm sorry. I loved the cake.

Everyone! I loved the cake!

Could you try the cake because...

It's not the cake!

I don't understand why you're upset.

I know you don't, and that's | the goddamn of it! You really don't know.

Then you said so yourself.

A tiger can't change his spots!

Brian?

I'm scared.

Here's $5 for the cake. | $5 to buy a clue. This is over.

Brian. Brian.

I love you, Brian Ryan.

So, dude, when's the wedding anyway?

Yeah, you picked out your dress yet?

You fags be ready come prom night...

...for the Chris Campbell Nail and Bail.

Nice rhyme. | Did you make it up all by yourself?.

I'll catch you guys later, okay?

- So... | - So, how does this work anyway?

The old "Nail and Bail"?

Like you don't know. I saw Grant | this morning blubbering like a whale.

- So? | - So, you didn't try to sleep with her?

- It wasn't like that. | - You see, it is like that.

No, it isn't. | Because, you never cared about Maggie.

Neither did you.

I cared about her.

Don't look so surprised, partner.

The Nail and Bail has crushed | better chicks than her.

There is not a chance in hell | Maggie sleeps with you!

- She's better than that. | - Maybe she used to be...

...but you stepped in and changed that.

- Didn't you, Brian? | - It's "Ryan" not, "Brian"!

It doesn't really matter, does it?

Get in that box now, Sue-Ann!

- Floyd, have you seen Maggie? | - I'm not talking to you, jack-hole!

Well, what have we got here?

Someone trying on some pants?

You can be pissed at me if you want to. | That's fine.

I deserve it.

Just tell me if you've seen her.

Not since you scared her off, | bird-dogging for sniff.

What is this, some ladies' afternoon tea?

Walk it off!

- What are you doing at my house? | - What happened with you and Ashley?

Is there someone else?

Was it the hair on her back? | Because she is getting that removed!

- That hair. | - Isn't there anything that she can do?

Short of camping on my lawn | and begging profusely, no!

I cut out today and bought it for prom.

What do you think?

I think it's great.

I mean it's...

...perfect.

Do you think Chris will like it?

Are you sure about him? | I mean, are you really sure?

What are you talking about?

Chris.

I wanted Ashley Grant.

So?

So, I told him what to say to you.

The e-mails, the nursing home.

And he helped me out with Ashley.

I'm sorry, Maggie.

I don't believe you.

When you're alone with him, face to face...

...does he ever say anything clever | or funny or even sincere?

- He's shy. | - No. He's not shy, Maggie!

He's a dumb ass.

In the theatre, I said you were beautiful.

Me. I meant it.

Because...

...I have feelings for you.

You're really pathetic. Do you know that?

- Maggie, I- | - No!

I'm sorry if things didn't work out | for you but you think you could...

...just tear me and Chris down | because Ashley broke up with you?

- Maggie, listen- | - No, because honestly...

...I don't even see that guy | you used to be anymore, Ryan.

I see a liar.

Brian.

If you run your mascara, | it's going to look really bad.

Would one of you whores | please get me a tissue?

- Yeah, you can see her ass. | - It's the twosome.

- They're gonna get it on. | - It's a threesome.

Hey, did you guys hear | the theme for the prom?

- "Titanic Dreams. " | - What?

Those people died.

True. But they have become legends.

Like your idol, Virgil Doolittle.

Take me to the promI

Take me to the promI

Please take me to the prom!

Fine. Just go home!

Thank you!

I want everything tonight | to be as beautiful as you are.

Dinner, prom, the hotel...

Aren't puppies cute?

Get out of here.

I wonder where Ash went tonight.

- Is she not going to prom? | - She's going with Brian.

She was crawling on her knees for him.

Can you blame her though? Brian rocks.

Give me a break.

He's a geek. Tell them, Maggie.

I heard he plays the accordion.

To prom!

Hey, watch the threads.

- I can't believe we don't have dates! | - I do!

You've got a date?

You don't know her. | She's recently divorced.

Okay.

What?

Sure, Cosmo.

Hello?

Where are you?

Ashley.

- Would you sign my yearbook? | - $20.

- I'll go get my purse. | - They are so easy.

Let's get our picture taken | before she gets back.

What's going on, hot stuff?. Nice ass, yeah.

Hey ladies, what's going...? | Hey chickie, what's going on?

Nice.

And thank you.

Next couple, please?

- Our turn. | - You kids next?

All right.

- What's up, Cosmo? | - Hey, Floyd.

Daddy!

Honey, no. That's not Daddy. | Remember, we talked about it?

That's Mommy's date. Okay. All right.

- Floyd, this is my date. | - I'm Floyd. You have a nice rack.

Thank you.

- Hurt yourself?. | - No. Sorry.

Buns of steel, partner. Buns of steel.

Looking good!

People, listen upI

In a few minutes, we will be announcing | the Prom King and Queen.

I guess there will be no King and Queen | of the prom this yearI

I'm going to go check my make-up. | Be right back.

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