When Harry Met Sally Page #7

- Yes. Right now is the perfect time,

because I want our friends to benefit

from the wisdom of my experience.

Right now everything is great. Everyone

is happy and in love, and that's wonderful.

But sooner or later, you'll be screaming

at each other about who'll get this dish.

This $8 dish will cost $1 ,000 in calls to the

legal firm of "That's mine, this is yours".

- Harry!

- Please.

Jess, Marie,

do me a favour for your own good.

Put your name in your books right now

before you don't know whose is whose,

because some day you'll go 1 5 rounds

over who's gonna get this coffee table.

This stupid, wagon-wheel,

Roy-Rogers, garage-sale coffee table!

- I thought you liked it.

- I was being nice!

He just bumped into Helen.

I want you to know

that I will never want

that wagon-wheel coffee table.

I know, I know, I shouldn't have done it.

Harry, you have to try to find a way of

not expressing every feeling you have,

every moment that you have them.

- Oh, really?

- Yes.

There are times and places for things.

Well, the next time you're giving a lecture

on social graces, tell me cos I'll sign up.

Hey! You don't have

to take your anger out on me.

I'm entitled to throw anger your way.

Especially when I'm being told how

to live my life by Miss Hospital Corners!

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing bothers you!

- You never get upset about anything!

- Don't be ridiculous!

What?

You never get upset about Joe. I never

see it back up on you. How is it possible?

- Don't you experience feelings of loss?

- I don't have to take this crap.

- If you're over Joe, why not see people?

- I see people!

See people! Have you slept

with one person since Joe?

What the hell does that

have to do with anything?

That will prove I'm over Joe

because I f*** somebody?!

You have to move back to New Jersey cos

you've slept with everyone in New York.

I don't see that turning Helen

into a faint memory for you.

Besides, I will make love

when it is making love.

Not the way you do it,

like you're out for revenge or something.

Are you finished now?

Yes.

Can I say something?

Yes.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Don't say a word!

It's a monkey, a monkey.

Monkey see, monkey do.

- It's an ape. Going ape.

- It's a baby!

- Planet ofthe Apes!

- She said baby! Try Planet ofthe Dopes.

- It doesn't look like a baby.

- Big mouth. Jagger as a baby.

- Baby ape!

- Stop with the apes.

- Baby's breath.

- Rosemary's Baby's mouth?

- "Won't You Come Home, Bill Baby?"

- Kiss the baby!

- "Melancholy Baby's Mouth"!

- Baby fish... Baby-fish mouth!

- 1 5 seconds.

- A big mouth.

- Baby boom!

- Baby...

Draw something resembling anything!

- Crying baby. Kiss the baby.

- Baby spitting up... Exorcist Baby!

- "Yes Sir, That's My Baby".

- "No sir, don't mean maybe."

- That's it. Time's up.

- Baby talk.

Baby talk? What's that?

That's not a saying.

But "baby-fish mouth" is sweeping

the nation! I hear them talking!

Final score. Our team: 1 10.

You guys:
60.

- Ouch. Fix! Definitely a fix.

- Pathetic.

- I can't draw.

- That's a baby, and it's clearly talking.

You're wonderful.

- Who wants coffee?

- I do, and I love you.

- D'you have tea?

- lndustrial strength.

- I'll help you. Decaf?

- Yeah.

- Three.

- Yes, please.

- Where's the bathroom?

- Through that door, down the hall.

Never looked like a baby to me.

- Which part?

- All of it.

- You were gonna show me a book cover.

- Yeah, it's in the den.

Julian, help yourself.

Have some more wine, whatever, OK?

I like saying den. Got a nice ring to it.

Emily's a little young for Harry,

don't you think?

Well, she's young,

but look what she's done.

What has she done? She makes desserts.

- Does Julian seem a little stuffy to you?

- He's a good guy. You should talk to him.

He's too tall to talk to.

She makes 3,500

chocolate-mousse pies a week.

Emily is "Aunt Emily"?

He took us to a Met game last week.

It was great.

- You all went to a Met game together?

- Yeah, but it was a last-minute thing.

But Sally hates baseball.

Harry doesn't even like sweets.

Julian is great.

I know. He's a grown-up.

- Emily is terrific.

- Yeah. But when I asked where she was

when Kennedy was shot,

she said "Ted Kennedy was shot?"

- Hello?

- Are you alone?

Yeah. I was just finishing a book.

- Could you come over?

- What's the matter?

- He's getting married.

- Who?

Joe!

I'll be right there.

- Hi.

- Are you all right?

Come on in.

- I'm sorry to call you so late.

- It's all right.

- I need a Kleenex!

- OK.

OK. OK.

He just called me up,

"Wanted to see how you were",

"Fine. How are you?" "Fine."

His secretary's on vacation,

everything's all backed up.

He's got a big case in Newark,

blah, blah, blah.

And I'm sitting on the phone thinking

"I am over him, I really am over him,

I can't believe I was ever

remotely interested in any of this."

And then he said "I have some news."

She works in his office. She's a paralegal.

Her name is Kimberly.

He just met her!

She's supposed to be his

transitional person, not "the one"!

All this time, I've been saying

that he didn't wanna get married.

But the truth is,

he didn't wanna marry me.

He didn't love me.

If you could take him back

right now, would you?

No!

But why didn't he wanna marry me?

- What's the matter with me?

- Nothing.

- I'm difficult.

- You're challenging.

- I'm too structured. I'm closed off.

- But in a good way.

No, no, no. I drove him away.

And I'm gonna be 40!

When?

- Some day.

- ln eight years.

But it's there! It's just sitting there

like this big dead end.

And it's not the same for men. Charlie

Chaplin had babies when he was 73.

Yeah, but he was too old to pick 'em up.

Come here. Come here.

It's gonna be OK.

It's gonna be fine, you'll see.

Go ahead. It's not one

of my favourites anyway.

It's gonna be OK. Hm?

Hm? OK?

OK.

- I'll make some tea.

- Harry, could you hold me a little longer?

Oh, sure.

OK? Hm?

Are you comfortable?

Sure.

- D'you want something to drink?

- No, I'm OK.

I'm going to get up for some water,

so it's really no trouble.

OK. Water.

You have all your video tapes

alphabetised and on index cards.

Thank you.

- D'you wanna watch something?

- No. Not unless you do.

No. That's OK.

- D'you wanna go to sleep?

- OK.

Where are you going?

I gotta go.

Gotta go home, change my clothes

and go to work. And so do you.

But after work I'd like to take you

out to dinner, if you're free. You free?

- Yes.

- Fine. I'll call you later.

- Fine.

- Fine.

- Yours!

- Hello.

- Sorry to call so early.

- Are you all right?

No one I know would call at this hour.

- No one I know would call.

- It's awful.

- I need to talk.

- What happened?

- Harry came over.

- I went to Sally's.

- I was upset Joe was marrying.

- One thing led to another.

- Before I knew it we were kissing. Then...

- ..we did it.

They did it!

- That's great!

- We prayed for it.

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