When Harry Tries to Marry Page #4

Girls! Don't forget

our study session tonight.

The break has arrived.

Oh, Louis!

Happy birthday, Harish.

Thank you so much

for remembering.

So sweet of you.

lt's your birthday, man. l--

Happy birthday, man.

Oh, my god, Harry!

Sorry. lt's Nita.

- Are you having a party?

- Nita.

Okay, you can open

your present now.

Go on, Harish.

l hope you like it.

Why didn't you tell us

it's his birthday?

l forgot.

Actually, l never bought

a present for a boy before.

Okay, okay,

have you opened it?

Can you just hold on

for a second?

- Sure, sure.

- Thank you.

What?

A teddy bear.

Oh, it's adorable.

lsn't it adorable, guys?

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

lt's great.

- And totally original.

- l really hope you like it.

l love it so much, Nita.

l really, really do.

Okay, there's a string

at the back. Pull it.

The string on the back?

Oh, God.

You"re my sweet cuddly- wuddly

bear, aren"t you?

Yes, you are.

You"re my sweet...

...cuddly- wuddly bear,

aren"t you?

Yes, you are.

Hey, teddy bear, if you gotta talk

do it in the other room,..

...'cause some of us

got work to do.

l went to

to find you the perfect gift.

l went all over the mall,

And l saw this teddy bear--

- So shall we resume?

- l see no one's tasted my nachos.

So what made you choose

architecture, anyways?

Oh, thank God. l thought

l was the only lndian...

...who doesn't watch cricket.

- No way. Spock rules.

Let's go someplace fun,

like Jamaica.

How can we name our son Ashish?

We might as well just call him...

...Hashish so he gets

strip- searched at airports.

Yes, l can cook.

Better than you.

You"re a scorpio?

Yes, it"s a very sexual sign.

l am not blushing!

Look, all l'm saying is this guy is

like a racehorse with blinders...

...on, and he is going to get married.

- What are you,..

...the horse whisperer?

- The other day, we were...

...having this heart- to- heart,

and he started talking about...

...how some men like dry wine,

but others like sweet,..

...but how could they know

which one was better...

...unless they tasted both?

l mean, why would a guy tell me

this stuff when he doesn't...

...even drink.

Hey, l don't own a gun,

but l still know what happens...

...when l point it at my head

and pull the trigger.

All l'm saying is, what if he wanted

to send me a signal,..

...but he was too shy to come out

and tell me directly?

Look, T, you know l'm not one

to admit when l'm wrong,..

...but l have been wrong about

Harry.

This guy, he is not your ordinary

Harry. l mean, first, he hits you...

...with Harry Potter's magic wand,

then he sends you all kinds...

...of mixed messages like Harry did

to Sally. And now, he is busting out...

...his magnum on you like dirty Harry,

and blowing you away...

...with both barrels.

l say, beware of all Harrys.

They're all bad news.

Here is your lifeline.

lt's quite long.

Yep, it's quite long.

And this over here...

...is the line representing,

relationships.

So as you can see, it's sort of

going straight,..

...but then it veers off to the left.

- Yeah, l don't see that.

You're not looking

close enough obviously.

This is my grandmother's

recipe, actually.

- lt's great.

- So yummy.

Harry! Harry,

what's the matter?

Did you use meat sauce

or marinara--

22 years of my religious beliefs

are going down the--

l think l overreacted.

She didn"t mean to put

meat in the sauce.

Look, if you feel

so badly about things,..

...why don't you take her out

to smooth things over?

- You mean a date?

- No, no.

Call it...

Call it a detente.

- Detente?

- Yeah. Detente.

You know, to, like,

bury the hatchet.

Dude, take her to

one of your lndian things.

Chicks dig culture, man.

- Yeah.

Theresa, Theresa,

come on.

Take some of this.

Let's go over there.

Oh, god, this is beautiful.

Dude, this drink, l'm liking.

- lt's called bhang.

Sweet, but it packs a punch.

Kind of like you.

Very funny.

Hey, l thought you didn't drink.

- l don't, but bhang is allowed,..

...and even required

on the day of holi.

l'm serious.

Look, lord Shiva used it

to increase meditation...

...and reach transcendence,

but we mortals use it...

...to release anxiety and

to loosen up.

Hey, l'm loose, man.

And l love the bhang.

Me, too. Hey,

Bhangs away.

- What's with all the colors?

- Holi marks the end of winter...

...and the triumph of good over evil.

Smearing colors on friends,..

...acquaintances, and dear ones

is a unique custom...

...where one can meet new people,

settle old feuds and create...

...an atmosphere

of goodwill and friendship.

- So basically, it's a free- for- all.

- Basically.

Oh! What's the matter, Harry?

Feelin' blue?

No. You're just

making me see red.

Oh, so what are you

gonna do about it?

What am l

gonna do about it?

That's what

l'm gonna do about it.

Oh, at least l'm not green.

with envy.

At least l don't have purple haze

all through my brain.

Hey, knock, knock.

- Who's there?

Orange.

Orange you glad l didn't hit you

with purple again?

Dude!

Maybe you should just

lighten up a little.

What?

So much for goodwill

and friendship.

l forgive you,

but l'm never...

...cooking for you again.

l had a really,..

...really good time though.

Thank you for inviting me.

lt was my pleasure.

Don't worry about it.

- So what are you doing tomorrow?

- Tomorrow?

l'll probably

see you in class, right?

Hi, Theresa.

What's going on?

Yeah, you probably will.

- What are you doing right now?

- Now?

Yeah, l thought l might

go home and take a bath.

You know, to wash away the colors.

- Right. Yeah.

lt's a good idea. l should probably

do the same.

l'll scrub this off.

l feel like a clown.

So...

Okay then.

- Theresa.

- Yeah?

- Thanks for being such a good pal.

- Yeah.

See ya, pal.

So, Harry, can you tell us

who you chose for your arranged...

...marriage, and why?

- Sure, Jim.

l chose Nita.

See, we're both Brahmin,..

...come from the same village,

both studying to be architects,..

...our birth charts match.

- And best of all,..

...you both love

children and animals!

Right!

Let's see if our audience

agrees with you.

- You nervous?

- No.

- Not even a little bit?

- l've been planning this...

...in my mind my entire life.

All l'm doing now...

...is seeing the plan through.

lf it were me getting married,

l'd be a basket case right now.

You're a brave guy,

Harry Shankar.

- Do you wanna go take a walk?

- Yeah.

- Surprise.

- Mum!

Yes. Surprise!

l went by your apartment,

and Louis told me...

...that l might find you here.

- Mum, please, we talked...

...about the excessive p. d. a.

- Hi, babu!

l have missed you!

- Theresa, this is my mom.

- Geeta Shankar.

Formerly Patel, of the Patels

of Gujarat.

lt's a pleasure to meet you, my dear.

- Theresa Prada.

- Prada? As in the Milano Pradas?

- No. As in the Malibu...

...relocated to Brooklyn Pradas.

- Quaint. Very quaint.

l'm sure we'll meet again

when our schedules open up.

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