Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Page #5

what, f***ing dolphins?

But I'm not exactly

a war zone virgin, you know?

I was kidnapped by the AIG

when they were still called that.

Why dolphins?

What do dolphins got to do

with New Zealand?

Nothing to do with it. I'm just...

White pointers and sharks,

but the dolphins never hurt anyone.

I know they've not hurt anyone, mate.

I'm just making the point...

I'm not gonna protect my country

from an animal that hasn't hurt anyone.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Dolphins? What a joke.

I'll come with you

in the car if there's room.

Oh, great, we're all going to Kandahar!

I can make some calls. We can take my car.

Kim, if we are going to Kandahar,

you will need to buy some new clothes.

I can't...

It's so pretty, I don't even want to vote.

I'm flipping you the bird

in here right now.

- Is this your car, Fahim?

- Yes.

This is a f***ing piece of sh*t.

I think it's very nice.

No one is staring at me. It's weird.

You are in the Blue Prison now.

Fahim, what does the graffiti say?

"No education for woman."

Brian.

Fahim, what's going on up there?

The Taliban used to do this.

Execute the radios and televisions.

Oh, sh*t!

Get out of the way!

Move on! Move on!

You guys can't go out there, but I can.

- Kim, come back.

- Kim, wait! Come back.

Kim, now. We must hurry. We must hurry.

Get in the car!

Get out of here!

That was a men's park, Kim! Men only!

F***!

Bebakhshid, Fahim.

...coalition capacity,

priorities and support.

Let's look now at the 12 first-tier drivers

in the current COIN paradigm.

Sh*t.

Tactical and institutional...

...is always in purple,

and noting as such...

- Kim Baker.

- Sir, do you have a minute?

If I'm understanding this briefing,

I have all the f***ing time in the world.

Okay. Well, I'm covering the girls' school

in Kandahar that was firebombed

and I'm wondering if you could

give me something, on background,

just about the security situation here

and the state of the war in general.

Yeah, I can give you something:

This war is like f***ing a gorilla.

You keep going till

the gorilla wants to stop.

I think I can paraphrase that.

Knock yourself out.

You know, Afghanistan produces

90% of the world's narcotic opiates.

So they say.

When I worked in the hospital,

these men, heroin addicts,

would come in with a child.

They'd say, "Oh, my son,

he broke his arm."

And while we were tending to the child,

the men would steal our morphine.

And we would wonder how

the arm got broken to begin with.

What are we talking about, Fahim?

The human body produces its own heroin.

In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct

is activated in the hypothalamus,

your body releases endorphins,

dopamine and norepinephrine.

That is heroin, cocaine

and amphetamine, all at once.

Okay, great. Are we having

the Afghan version of this conversation,

where in New York we would have

gotten to the point, like, five minutes ago?

There is a reason to believe that a person

can get addicted to this type of high.

Soldiers, athletes...

War reporters. Got it.

An addict always needs

a greater and greater dosage.

And then people make mistakes,

people get hurt.

I get it. You're a newlywed. I can

probably get them to go up to $125 a day.

Let us have the

American version of this conversation.

Okay.

I do not want to work with you anymore.

No, okay, wait. Fahim, I know I f***ed up.

I do not think you do.

- Hear me out.

- Kim, no.

I am now married. I want to have children.

It will not happen again.

It's not gonna...

"I ride after a deer and find

myself chased by a hog.

"I plot to get what I want

"and I end up in prison.

"I dig pits to trap others and I fall in.

"I should be suspicious of what I want."

I don't know what that means.

You do.

Fahim?

I can't breathe in here.

Time to take a walk.

I have to go outside.

I have to go home.

Put on your headscarf

Sh*t.

It's the wrong house.

Oh, sh*t.

Kim?

What the hell are you doing?

Here.

Kim, sip that. Okay? You all right?

Keep sipping that.

You're all right. It's okay.

It's okay. Hey.

Hey, it's all right.

Oi. Now, that there was a bit of fun.

- Are you mental?

- Okay, mate...

I'm not your mate. I'm gonna

ask you again, are you f***ing mental?

- Come on, Iain, it's not his fault.

- What's your job again?

Because if I hadn't come back

to see you lot

because I stole a bottle of sake

from a Japanese travel writer...

Wait, you have sake?

...you could've killed her, "mate!"

Oh, f*** off.

Jesus! What the f***?

Dude, what the f***?

Did you f***ing sucker punch me?

You broke my nose.

- You f***ing American?

- Are you a Yank?

I'm Canadian, you a**hole.

I almost f***ed a Canadian?

I'd stay down if I were you, ya wee c*nt.

And that's not a term of affection.

F*** that.

Oh, God!

- Wait.

- Oh, f***.

Iain, don't carry me around.

I'm not a f***ing baby.

Goddamn it.

What the f*** are you doing?

- Take it off.

- I'm f***ing trying to take it off!

Oh, God, I'm gonna put it

in you so f***ing hard,

- you're gonna f***ing get it.

- Don't talk.

- I want everything in your mouth.

- Iain, just shut it.

I'll take you lying down, come on.

Do you have one of those

weird little penises?

No! This is how I want to go.

No, I don't want to see myself.

Roll off!

Okay, f*** it.

Oh, God, I f***ing...

What are you doing?

I'm just putting my f***ing

finger in your mouth.

No!

Come on, just put everything

in your mouth.

- Do you want me to go?

- No.

There's aught like a good shag.

Okay, let's try to be adults here.

I think we were.

Obviously this was just

a Kabubble thing, right?

Just a

fun mistake where one of us had an orgasm.

I mean, we're both in a really bad place.

And then you punched Nic.

I don't know. It's endorphins, right?

Nope, that's not what this is.

No, you don't need to be gallant.

I'm serious.

I fancy you, Kim Baker.

I do.

Of all the dozens of women

in this country, I chose you.

No, you didn't, because this is not me.

I would never do this.

Precisely. Because you're not you anymore.

You're in the Kabubble.

You said so yourself.

Don't f***ing hide.

Kim, you know the frog

in the pot of water?

You raise the temperature bit by bit,

the frog doesn't notice?

That's what this place and that's

what this job does to all of us.

It changes your perception

of what's normal until...

...until here we are.

You know the frog boils to death

- at the end of that, right?

- Nope.

- Yeah.

- Nope.

Is that my toothbrush?

What's going on

with my Kandahar piece, Ed?

Jerry killed it.

Wait, who killed it?

Jerry Taub, head of the network, Kim.

- What happened to Angela?

- She left.

She's running a website

for women or something.

Look, I can't sell Afghanistan

in Monday meetings.

Your war's got chronic

same-sh*t-different-day-itis.

Great. What am I even doing here, Ed?

I wouldn't ask that too loudly, Kim.

Though I'd be thrilled to have

you back at your old desk.

That's all I got.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes