White Chicks Page #8

Synopsis: After an unsuccessful mission, FBI agents Kevin Copeland and Marcus Copeland fall in disgrace in the agency. They decide to swap their bad position with his superior Section Chief Elliott Gordon working undercover in an abduction case, disguised in the two spoiled white daughters of a tycoon, Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, getting in hilarious situations.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Keenen Ivory Wayans
Production: Columbia Pictures
  3 wins & 13 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
15%
PG-13
Year:
2004
109 min
$69,148,997
Website
37,208 Views


- I am so proud of you.

Thanks. I just wish I

didn't feel so crappy.

Honey.

Sometimes a man can't see

when he has someone so special...

sitting right in front of him.

Are you, like, a lesbian?

- I better go get changed.

- Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this evening we are proud to present...

the fall couture line, Aubrey Allure.

Please take your seats.

- Excuse me?

- You're not on the list.

Invitation, my ass!

They don't know how we do it.

- Let's just blend.

- All right.

Go! Get going! Move it!

Didn't we just have this conversation?

Can we get these fantastic supermodels...

- back into their dressing rooms?

- I can't believe it!

- They changed that quick!

- Amazing!

These ought to get the critics' attention.

Second changes, everybody! Go! Now!

This'll be a nice little treat.

My God! What's happening?

That's not mine!

Let's get out of here!

I'm sorry!

Just give me your hand. It'll be okay.

I'm so sorry. Oh!

Come here! I got you!

Here we go. Up!

- My God!

- I hope she's okay.

I'm ruined.

Looks like some people just don't know

when to quit. Come on, girls.

- Help me.

- I got you.

Karen, what are you doing?

Look, someone has got to give those girls

a taste of their own medicine.

So revolutionary! It's so bold and so...

So brilliant!

Everybody, they're imposters!

Hit the lights.

Where's Brittany?

Where are you?

Get down!

I told you you were going to regret it.

You hit like a b*tch! Come on.

You run and I'll shoot you. Come on.

- My turn.

- Mama?

Girl, we going to need some backup.

Girl, call NayNay and LaQuanda.

Tell them to bring the Vaseline

and the straight razors.

These b*tches are on some other sh*t!

What's going on?

- Don't touch my dress!

- Vandergeld's got Tiffany!

What? No one messes with my queen!

Marcus! Are you okay?

- No.

- What's wrong?

These damn G-strings are killing me!

- Freeze!

- FBI.

You guys take care of them.

We're going after Vandergeld.

Copeland! You're going to need this.

Come on, let's go.

FBI! Freeze!

Daddy, what are you doing?

Why don't you take your mother

and your sister and go on home?

Daddy, why are you doing this?

Daddy didn't tell you? He's broke.

What do you mean, broke?

Like Martha Stewart broke

or MC Hammer broke?

- MC Hammer broke!

- No!

I've been funneling money out of the charity

into a private account, just to get us by!

Are you filming this?

I'll give you something to shoot!

- Get out of my way!

- I can't do that.

Drop it!

I got you, man. Man, we'll get that stain out.

Don't even worry.

Don't move!

Warren Vandergeld, you are under arrest!

I just want to tell you, I appreciate

what you did. That was real brave of you.

I had no choice. I couldn't let them take

my one true love away.

Hey, dude. I'm not what you think I am.

Baby, we all got secrets. That's okay.

Are you telling me that you are not...

- Yeah. I'm not a woman.

- White?

The deception! The betrayal, man!

You deceived me!

Calm down. I'm an FBI agent.

I was uncovering a...

Negro, please!

Didn't somebody tell you

this was an all-white party?

Someone get this jigaboo away from me!

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. Thank you.

So, do I get to see my knight

in shining armor?

- Well...

- Get a leg!

Get off me!

What do you mean?

I'm going to let you have it!

- You ain't never met nobody like me!

- It's me!

You don't know who you messing with!

My name's Gina!

It's me.

This is some Jerry Springer sh*t!

Once again, you guys managed to do

everything I told you not to do.

You caused over $250,000 worth of damage.

Two people were shot.

But at least you got the right guy.

- Good work.

- Thanks a lot, Chief.

But we couldn't have done it

without Gomez and Harper.

All right,

I'll see you all in the office tomorrow.

Good work, guys.

Who will be featured

on the cover of Hamptons Magazine?

I have to take care of some business.

See you guys on Monday.

So, who do you think wore those panties

you were sniffing?

Kevin or Marcus?

- Gomez, I told you. I was looking for DNA.

- Oh, yeah.

What are you laughing at, "Denzel"?

"Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!"

You guys got some work to do?

I'm Denise Porter. Good night.

I'm Kevin Copeland. I'm an FBI agent.

I make $30,000 a year after taxes.

I don't drive a Bentley

and I don't have a house on a hill.

But I'd really like to take you out.

Are you kidding me? Any man...

who would jump in front

of a bullet for me...

can definitely take me on a date.

- Come on, girl, let's go.

- Wait, could I just please...

- I have nothing more to say to you.

- I know. Just listen to me, please.

Gina, I lied to you.

I've hid things from you.

But I have never cheated on you.

But I am guilty.

I'm guilty of paying more attention

to my job than I do my wife.

I'm guilty of not appreciating

all the little things you do for me.

Like getting your hair done.

Wearing that sweet-smelling Chanel

cologne I love so much.

But my biggest crime is that I didn't

tell you I loved you every single day.

- You're not going to let him off that easy.

- Will you shut up?

I love you.

A wheelchair?

Yes, but the feeling will come back,

I promise.

Making my way downtown

Walking fast

Faces pass And I'm home bound

Backup, Tony.

Hey, girls.

So you guys were pretending to be them

the entire time?

Yes, we were.

But we was only doing our job.

I hope you guys aren't

too pissed off at us.

We're so bummed!

We liked Brittany and Tiffany...

so much more when you were them.

So much more!

So I guess this means

we won't be hanging out any more?

Don't say that. Of course,

we will hang out.

Oh, yeah. We'll all get together

and we're gonna go...

shopping!

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Keenen Ivory Wayans

Keenen Ivory Desuma Wayans, Sr. (born June 8, 1958) is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and a member of the Wayans family of entertainers. He first came to prominence as the host and the creator of the 1990–1994 Fox sketch comedy series In Living Color. He has produced, directed and/or written a large number of films, starting with Hollywood Shuffle, which he co-wrote, in 1987. A majority of these films have included him and one or more of his brothers and sisters in the cast. One of these films, Scary Movie (2000), which Wayans directed, was the highest-grossing movie ever directed by an African American until it was surpassed by Tim Story's Fantastic Four in 2005. From 1997 to 1998, he hosted the talk show The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show. Most recently, he was a judge for the eighth season of Last Comic Standing. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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