White Chicks Page #7

Synopsis: After an unsuccessful mission, FBI agents Kevin Copeland and Marcus Copeland fall in disgrace in the agency. They decide to swap their bad position with his superior Section Chief Elliott Gordon working undercover in an abduction case, disguised in the two spoiled white daughters of a tycoon, Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, getting in hilarious situations.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Keenen Ivory Wayans
Production: Columbia Pictures
  3 wins & 13 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
15%
PG-13
Year:
2004
109 min
$69,148,997
Website
37,204 Views


- Wilsons rock!

- We rocked!

Wait. We weren't in the Hamptons

this weekend.

No! We've been cloned!

He's got to be around here somewhere.

Girl, wait a minute.

Isn't that Marcus right there?

- That's him, all right. Old lying dog!

- Caught you.

That sounds like Gina.

- Don't answer it. She'll go away.

- No, she won't.

I'm not going anywhere

until you open this door!

- I told you! What am I going to do?

- Just get rid of her.

I'll get rid of her. You hide the stuff.

- I'm not playing with you!

- Coming, baby!

What is all that noise?

Nothing! Okay, baby, I'm coming!

I'm coming. Hide.

Hey, baby! Hi, boo-boo.

- Nice room you got, Marcus.

- Hey, baby, what you doing here?

- I could ask you the same question.

- Me?

I'm on assignment.

Are you wearing lipstick?

No. That's Kool-Aid. You want some?

You know, it's filled with lots of

vitamin C and riboflavin.

Is that a bra?

No, this?

This is the new holsters

they gave us at work.

They're government issue.

You can put two guns in there and just...

"Freeze, FBI!"

- I know somebody's in here.

- Baby, nobody's in here.

See? Nobody's in here.

- Check under the bed...

- What do you mean, "Check under the bed"?

- I heard somebody on the phone.

- Check under the bed!

- That's where everybody hides! Check it!

- Marcus! Nobody can fit!

See, nobody here, right? Nobody there.

- I'll look in the bathroom.

- Wait! No! Don't check the bathroom!

You don't want me to check the bathroom!

See? Nothing in the bathroom.

Nobody in the room. See?

I told you no one was here. See?

You know, baby, this gotta stop!

- We can't have love if we don't have trust.

- I know, but look.

I was at the restaurant and the card

wouldn't go through...

Listen. If we don't have trust,

we don't have nothing.

This is not about trust. This is about...

There she is, right there!

Now, baby. I can explain.

- I knew it.

- Baby, it's not what you think.

- Baby, it's not what you think.

- Don't you even say nothing to me!

I can explain. Baby,

it's not what you think.

He's a man!

You're sick!

We have to find them and stop them

before they execute their evil plan.

We have to find them and stop them

before they execute their evil plan.

- Wait, what do they look like?

- Duh, us!

Afternoon, ladies.

The Chief would like

to have a word with you.

My God, Tiffany. They're the Men in Black.

Come on.

- Easy, Ponch and Jon. My hair!

- Let's move it along, pal.

- Wait a minute!

- Let's go!

Chief, we just got confirmation

that Burton's arrived at JFK.

I want him trailed. Give him plenty of room.

I don't want anyone jumping the gun.

I want to get this guy red-handed.

- Get your hands off of me!

- Let's go.

- Hey, easy!

- Right this way, girls.

What the hell you guys doing

with the Wilson sisters?

- Chief, these aren't the Wilson sisters.

- No, sir.

Chief, check this out.

My God! What are you doing?

- That's on there pretty good.

- Let her go.

That's nothing, Chief.

How about...

- Those are nice.

- That's enough!

I don't know how he did that...

but you can't fake these.

My God! Look who's here.

It's that beautiful...

Save it!

Because of you, I had to suspend

two of my best agents!

- Chief, I can explain.

- I don't want to hear it!

You're just lucky we caught Burton

before he could strike.

But Burton is not our guy!

Let me guess:
Women's intuition?

You're both fired.

Turn in your guns and your badges.

This operation is over!

- Come on, Chief! You can't fire us.

- I just did.

Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourself.

- Look, all we got to do is...

- Wait.

"We"? Kevin, this ain't about "we."

It's never been. It's about you.

You come up with some stupid idea

and I'm dumb enough to go along with it.

And look where it's gotten me, Kevin.

I just lost my wife and my job

because of you.

So don't tell me about "we" no more,

all right?

They bought it. The FBI is packing up.

They'll be out of our

hair in a couple hours.

We could make the grab tonight.

You sure you and your friend

can get the job done?

Would I let you down, Mr. V?

- Hey, man. I just want to say sorry.

- Forget about it, dude.

No. You're right. You're absolutely right.

I've been selfish.

I'm always dragging you into everything.

I never even asked what you want to do.

I don't know, there's something about

always having you around, that just...

makes me want to step up my game.

I guess it's because I always know

you're gonna have my back.

Hello?

Thanks.

- Who was that?

- That was Josh.

Turns out that Vandergeld's prints

was all over the ransom note.

- What are you doing?

- Calling the Chief.

No, you ain't! You said we could do this

on our own, right?

What about backup?

I got you, you got me.

That's all the backup we need.

Triple T-K-A.

Time to totally kick ass!

Three generations at the Bureau

and I'm the first to get fired.

My dad is going to kill me!

Yeah? What? Who?

- Copeland!

- Copeland, you dick!

You've got a lot of nerve, calling.

Where?

- You better not be wrong about this.

- What?

- We might be getting our jobs back.

- What are you talking about?

- We gotta go.

- What do you mean, go?

How about this?

RuPaul or Whoopi Goldberg?

- I told you, I'm not playing your games.

- Come on!

- Any sign of Vandergeld?

- I don't see him.

All right, keep an eye out for him.

If it's going down,

it's going to go down here.

Thank God! There you are! I did it.

- You did what?

- I got you into the fashion show!

Brittany, did you hear that?

We're in the fashion show.

Not if we don't get moving.

Come on, let's go!

- Get the lead out, ladies.

- I mean, it's like you forgot.

- You mean the Wilson sisters are in?

- And we're out?

I'm sorry. That's just the way it is.

They're hot, you're not! So deal with it.

- You! Straighten up that blouse, now!

- That's impossible!

We've been on that catwalk every summer

for six years straight!

Let's just cut to the chase.

Who do we have to sleep with

for us to get in the show?

Honey, you're so barking up the

wrong tree right now. Really!

If you nail this, you're a shoo-in

for the cover of Hamptons.

Darlings! Where have you been?

Megan! Don't!

This is unacceptable.

They just messed with the wrong girls!

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Can we get the Wilson sisters

their outfits now, please? Go.

- Can we talk?

- Of course.

You were incredible at the nightclub

last night.

- Thank you. Thanks.

- Incredible.

And Heather will be leaving after the party

tonight, and I was thinking...

maybe you could come by around 2:00?

Make that 3:
00 a.m.

You know what?

I don't think so.

Excuse me?

You think I'm just a booty call.

Well, I'm not.

I deserve better than that.

I'm tired of being your doormat.

Honey...

what makes you think you're that special?

- Bastard.

- Excuse me.

Asswipe!

- You're going to regret that.

- I'm so scared.

Oh, my God! Tiffany!

- Thank you so much, honey.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Keenen Ivory Wayans

Keenen Ivory Desuma Wayans, Sr. (born June 8, 1958) is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and a member of the Wayans family of entertainers. He first came to prominence as the host and the creator of the 1990–1994 Fox sketch comedy series In Living Color. He has produced, directed and/or written a large number of films, starting with Hollywood Shuffle, which he co-wrote, in 1987. A majority of these films have included him and one or more of his brothers and sisters in the cast. One of these films, Scary Movie (2000), which Wayans directed, was the highest-grossing movie ever directed by an African American until it was surpassed by Tim Story's Fantastic Four in 2005. From 1997 to 1998, he hosted the talk show The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show. Most recently, he was a judge for the eighth season of Last Comic Standing. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "White Chicks" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/white_chicks_23373>.

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