White Chicks Page #6

I'll push. Yeah. See, that did it there.

Just a little turn.

There's so many keys involved...

sometimes it's hard to figure out

what's what.

It's Mei Ling.

What are you doing here? Girl, it's late!

Come on, now. You have to go home.

Get some rest.

You cannot stay. There are laws

against this kind of workmanship.

They'll think

I'm running some kind of sweatshop.

That girl does not know when to go home.

I'm telling you, she will stay here

and just clean forever.

This is really nice.

Yeah, this is dope.

Dope summer home I picked, boy.

Who's that?

The big, buff, bald dude with the fur?

That's my trainer.

You have your trainer on your wall?

Yes, well, for inspiration.

I want to look like that one day and...

I come in every morning

and I look at the... You ever see Titanic?

- No, I haven't seen it.

- Me, either. You want something to drink?

- Yeah, sure. A glass of wine would be nice.

- Wine.

Okay, so I'll get you a

glass of wine and...

That'd be in the kitchen, right?

I don't know. This is your house, Latrell.

Who? Oh, me! Latrell.

That's right. I'm Latrell. That's right.

I'm going to get you

a bottle of my wine in my house.

It's my house and I live here

Damn, little lady!

You sure can put it away.

You're so funny.

Voil!

You have a dog.

No, I don't have no damn dog.

Well, then whose dog is that?

Sh*t.

That's not no dog.

That's family.

Hey, cousin.

Come here, boy.

He looks really mad! Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. He just

misses me, that's all.

Okay, boy, playtime's over. Let me up!

- You want me to go for help?

- No, we're just having fun.

You sure are playful today.

You want to go for a walk, boy?

I'll be right back!

You know what?

Forget this! I'm out of here!

I don't want to go on a date with a guy

and his dog is biting him and...

What's he doing now? What's that?

Don't pay him no mind.

He's just going to do that

until he falls asleep.

Now, where were we? Wine!

You know, I like a woman with

a little extra something.

A little cushion for the pushing.

I'd really love for you

to come to one of my games.

No, thank you. I've seen you play.

Not impressed.

Excuse me? I'm the highest scoring forward

in the league!

But all that talent? Totally overshadowed

by nothing but scandals and pure laziness.

Come on! You're shooting under 50%

from the free throw line, okay?

Your turnover ratio, abysmal.

And on top of that, you can't shoot

three-pointers to save your life. So...

squeeze me.

No one's ever cared like that before.

Come here, baby!

Oopsie! I had a poopsie.

Girl, we're going to get along just fine.

Back at you!

- Bask in the ambience!

- I'm going to be sick.

So, no. I jump over the fence, fall.

I scrape my knee.

- Get out of here.

- No, seriously, listen.

I scrape my knee. I get chased by the cops

and I spend the night in jail.

That's insane. You did all that

just to find J-Lo and Ben's hideaway?

I can't help it. You know,

investigative journalism is my passion.

So how'd you end up

writing puff pieces for the local news?

Unfortunately, I made some enemies...

and ended up getting

fired from my last job.

What happened?

Believe me,

you don't want to know about that.

Look, I spent all night

talking about myself.

Sometimes it's good for a man

to just sit back and listen.

Well, since you put it that way.

I did this piece on Warren Vandergeld.

Him and his partners

tried to swindle a guy.

You talking about Ted Burton?

Yeah, how did you know that?

It was in the paper. I read about it.

But what they didn't report in the paper...

was that Burton was 10 times smarter

than all of them.

He embezzled millions

and stashed it in an offshore account.

When Vandergeld heard the story

was going to break...

he didn't want to be embarrassed.

Well, there goes my job.

You know, you're a good listener.

It seems like you have the whole package.

Man!

- Hello?

- Kev, you got to go.

- What? Now?

- Yeah, now. We're on our way.

Can't you stall him for a little while?

Look, this man sang to me.

He tried to kiss me and on top of that...

he been farting for the last 20 minutes.

All right, I'll be there in a minute. Bye.

- Cottontail!

- I'm coming, n*gger!

Gomez, what the hell are we looking for?

I don't know. Something just isn't right

about these girls.

I'm gonna check the bathroom.

Find anything?

No. Not yet.

You won't believe what I...

What the hell are you doing?

Sniffing chicks' underwear, man.

What is the big...

It's... What?

They're guys, aren't they?

You really are disgusting.

- Latrell, my man! What's going on, brother?

- What's up, man?

- Two apple martinis.

- You hitting that, bro?

- This is a tough one to crack.

- Tiffany Wilson?

She puts the "E" in easy.

Here. Drop a couple of these babies

in her drink, man.

Are you sure this will work?

Man, I just took two of them,

and I'm telling you...

I'm boinking someone tonight, you know?

Excuse me.

That's for you, my little Miracle Whip.

You need to loosen up. There you go.

That's for you.

- Oh, my God! Is that Britney Spears?

- Where?

Right over there. Forget it, she just left.

Oops, she did it again.

- Let's drink up.

- Let's do it.

To the last drop.

That's good. You want to dance?

You know, that's a great idea.

Here, hold Baby. Let's go, girls.

I found out some interesting information.

Ted Burton turned the tables on Vandergeld.

Tucked away $100 million.

Been living the high life

ever since he got out of prison.

There goes our motive.

Those skanks think they're hot?

Let's show them what sexy really is.

They want to battle. Let's go, girls.

You girls want some of this?

Bring it on, sisters!

Okay, let's do it!

Five, six, seven, eight.

Come on.

Hold on.

I know you hookers

don't think this is over with.

Let's kick it old school.

They suck!

Oh, my God!

We won!

Come on, let's go.

Get out of my way! Move it!

I need a drink.

Hey, Latrell, my man.

So did it work, man?

I don't know.

But I got to dance.

I got to hit this.

Hold the dog.

Let it out.

Let it out.

Oh, yeah. Now it's out.

I paid thousands of

dollars on this outfit...

and do you think he even noticed?

It's going to be okay.

Little Miss Vandergeld walks in...

and he just forgets all about me.

Okay, let it out.

I wonder...

if he would think she was so hot...

if he knew that she is broke.

Vandergeld's broke?

We mustn't talk of such things.

No, we won't.

But, yes, they're broke.

My father even had to

loan her father money...

just so that they could keep their house.

They just paid us back.

- You guys, I love you guys.

- We love you, too.

I love you so much!

Thank you.

Can we get you some gum

or a mint or something?

Hey, little girl.

Really? I love you, too.

What the hell are you doing? Give me her!

Sicko. Where's Latrell?

Dance floor.

Good morning, snowflake.

Oh, my God. Brittany!

- What?

- We're on page six.

- No.

- Yeah.

Look. "Wilson sisters rock Hamptons."

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