Who Framed Roger Rabbit Page #10

EXT. BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL

A CARHOP wheels a yellow Packard up in front. Maroon climbs

in and ROARS off. Valiant ENTERS THE FRAME. He looks after

Maroon, then calmly starts walking down the driveway.

EXT. FOREST LAWN CEMETERY - RED CAR STOP - DAY

A Red Car pulls up. Valiant climbs off. He calmly crosses

the street and ducks behind the cemetery entranceway as

Maroon's Packard ROARS through.

VALIANT:

(impressed)

Love that Red Car.

As Valiant starts to walk up the hill...

CUT TO:

THE ACME FUNERAL SITE - LONG SHOT - DAY

A hearse, and a line of black limos are parked in the lane.

Nearby, Marvin Acme's funeral is in progress. Clustered

around a gravesite are the mourners... TOONS of every stripe.

There's MICKEY MOUSE comforting MINNIE. TOM AND JERRY.

HECKLE AND JECKLE. CHIP 'N DALE. Everyone from the famous

to the not so famous is in attendance. The eulogy is being

delivered in a familiar blustery Southern VOICE. It's

FOGHORN LEGHORN.

FOGHORN LEGHORN:

Today we commit the body of brother

Acme to the cold, I say cold, cold

ground. We shed no tears for we know

that Marvin is going to a better place.

That high, high, I say that

high-larious place up in the sky.

Foghorn Leghorn dramatically points skyward.

TOONS:

(in unison)

A-men!

NEW ANGLE - VALIANT

is leaning up against a palm tree on the hill. We have been

watching the proceedings from his POV. Now he sees Maroon's

car pull up. He moves around to the other side of the tree

as Maroon passes and starts wending his way through the

crowd.

AT THE GRAVESITE

Foghorn Leghorn nods to the funeral DIRECTOR, a pasty-faced

human in a black mourning coat. The Director starts to turn

the crank lowering the coffin into the grave.

FOGHORN LEGHORN:

Give us a sign, brother Herman, that

you've arrived...

Much to the funeral Director's amazement, the crank starts

PLINKING Out the tune to "POP GOES THE WEASLE". Now the Toon

mourners pick up on it and join in.

TOONS:

(singing)

Round and round the mullberry bush, The

monkey chased the weasle...

The crank and SONG start going FASTER AND FASTER.

TOONS:

(continuing;

singing)

The monkey raid it all was in fun. POP!

Goes the weasle.

Suddenly half of the lid to Acme's coffin flies open and a

harlequin CLOWN BOI-YOI-YOINGS out. The funeral Director

faints dead away as the Toon SOBS turn to LAUGHTER. The

Toons turn and head away from the grave comforted by a

funeral befitting a gag king. They climb into their cars and

SCREECH off like the start of the Indy 500. One mourner is

left at the gravesite. Sitting in a chair dabbing at her

eyes with a handkerchief is Jessica Rabbit. Maroon walks up

behind her.

MAROON:

So... trying to pull a fast one on me,

huh?

Jessica turns, startled. She stands and faces Maroon.

VALIANT:

smiles and leans in. This is the moment he's been waiting

for. Now just as the conversation begins, it is drowned out

by the NOISE from a LAWN MOWER. Valiant turns to see a

GARDENER riding around on a small tractor cutting the grass.

Valiant tries to flag him down as he watches Maroon and

Jessica having an arguement. There's accusatory finger

pointing. In pantomime, Maroon gestures into his pocket as

if describing the position of Acme's will.

Jessica tries to leave. He grabs her arm. They're screaming

at each other but we don't hear a word. Valiant waves

frantically for the Gardener to cut the machine. But the

Gardener misconstrues it as a friendly greeting and waves

back. Valiant turns in time to see Jessica kick Maroon in

the groin and stomp off to a red Auburn Speedster. She jumps

in and speeds away as Maroon staggers back to his car. The

Gardener stops the tractor next to Valiant. He SHUTS OFF THE

ENGINE. The cemetery is completely still again.

GARDENER:

Somethin' you want, mister?

VALIANT:

Not anymore...

EXT. INK & PAINT CLUB - ALLEY - NIGHT

A Steinway piano truck is parked next to the stage door. TWO

husky PIANO MOVERS are rolling a baby grand up the ramp to

the stage door. They knock on the door. The Gorilla opens

it and they muscle the piano inside. After a moment, they

reemerge. We FOLLOW them back to the truck where a second

baby grand stands ready to be moved.

MOVER #1

I don't know about you, but it makes me

sick to think of these beautiful pianos

gettin' chopped into match sticks every

night by those screwy ducks.

Struggling, they push this second piano into the club.

INT. CLUB - BACKSTAGE

They roll the piano over to the wall and park it next to the

first.

MOVER #2

(shakes head)

And they call it entertainment.

As they go out the stage door, MOVE IN on the baby grand.

INSIDE THE PIANO - VALIANT

is lying prone -- using the Steinway as his own Trojan Horse.

He lifts the piano lid to climb out, but then HEARS FOOTSTEPS

approaching. He lowers the lid again. Now someone starts

testing the keys. We see the hammers strike the strings,

RUNNING UP THE SCALES until they reach the one under

Valiant's nose. The hammer whacks Valiant's nose on the

backswing and strikes the string making a terrible SOUR NOTE.

DONALD DUCK (V.O.)

(exasperated

QUACK)

Phooey! Out of tune again!

DAFFY DUCK (V.O.)

Not to worry, Donald. We can fix that

with my sledgehammer.

DONALD DUCK (V.O.)

Never mind, Daffy. I've got an axe in

my dressing room.

Valiant's eyes widen.

ANGLE ON PIANO:

as the VOICES of Daffy and Donald recede, Valiant raises the

lid and quickly climbs out. He eases over to Jessica's

dressing room. As he starts to open the door, he HEARS

SCUFFLING from inside. Valiant puts his ear to the door.

More SCUFFLING. Valiant straightens, then suddenly whips the

door open and flicks on the light.

INT. DRESSING ROOM

Nobody's there. Perplexed, Valiant closes the door behind

him and checks behind the dressing screen. In the closet.

No one. He shrugs and starts to search the room. He goes to

Jessica's dressing table and rifles the drawers. In her

purse he discovers a Toon revolver. He examines it.

VALIANT:

Girl's gotta protect herself.

Valiant puts the gun back in the purse and closes the drawer.

As he stands, he pauses to consider a Hurrel-like

black-and-white photo of Roger Rabbit in a silver deco frame.

He's dramatically posed with a cigarette like he was Tyrone

Power.

Valiant shakes his head and turns from the table. Something

catches his eye.

ANGLE ON FLOOR:

Behind the dressing table, the corner of a piece of blue

paper peeks out. Valiant stoops down and fishes it out.

It's a cover for a legal document -- "Last Will and Testament

-- Marvin Acme".

VALIANT:

stands, pleased. He opens the blue folder. But it's empty.

Valiant puts it in his inside pocket and turns to go when

suddenly an unseen hand flicks the lights off.

VALIANT:

Son of a b*tch...

We can't see anything in the darkness. But we hear the SOUND

of A FISTFIGHT. There's the CRASHING of lamps and furniture

breaking. Now the door opens for a second as the assailant

escapes. Light floods in the room, illuminating Valiant on

the floor with a curtain wrapped around his head. As he

struggles free the door closes. The room is dark again.

Valiant scrambles to the door. When he whips it open, REVEAL

the Gorilla framed in the doorway. Valiant is frozen. The

Gorilla flicks on the light. He smiles wickedly.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes