Who Framed Roger Rabbit Page #14

ROGER RABBIT:

But, Eddie, you know what happens

when...

VALIANT:

Drink it, jerk. All of it.

He grabs Roger's hand and forces the drink into it. Roger

shrugs his shoulders and shoots the drink down. We've seen

the reaction before. Suddenly Roger's head turns into a

STEAM WHISTLE emitting such a PIERCING BLAST that is sends

everyone into ear-grabbing agony. Glasses, bottles, mirrors,

even Doom's glasses SHATTER. Valiant uses the distraction to

punch the Weasles holding Roger. He grabs the rabbit by the

scruff of the neck. He gets as assist from Augie, who

couldn't hear the noise. Unfazed, Augie whacks a Weasle on

the head with a barstool. The Midget crawls behind Doom,

who's been momentarily blinded. The one-armed Soldier pushes

him over. Angelo is turning one Weasle's head around and

around like a cruller. Finally, Doom gets to his feet.

DOOM:

After them you fools...

As the Weasles regroup, Valiant tips the stainless steel tub

over sending the dip spilling toward them. The Weasles

recoil from the liquid. Even Doom takes a step backward.

EXT. TERMINAL BAR

Eddie and Roger race down the stairs and toward the Toon

Control Wagon which is parked in front of Doom's Lincoln,

ROGER RABBIT:

Oh, Eddie, that was quick thinkin'.

Nothin' like usin' the old noggin, the

noodle, the grey matter...

VALIANT:

If I'm so smart, how come I'm runnin'

from the law with a Toon?

Valiant opens the door of the Toon Control wagon, and flings

Roger inside roughly.

INT. CAB

Eddie goes to start the vehicle but the key is gone. Now

from behind them comes a DEEP RUMBLING VOICE somewhere

between Lord Buckley and Barry White.

VOICE:

Excuse me, gentlemen...

Eddie and Roger turn. A snazzy TOON ROADSTER whose grill

functions as it's mouth is talking from behind the liquid

bars.

ROADSTER:

If you effect my extrication, I

could offer you some carburetion.

Valiant sighs with resignation and slides out of the cab,

Roger in tow.

EXT. REAR OF WAGON

Eddie and Roger come racing around the side of the wagon.

Valiant searches the back of the truck for the on/off switch.

He finds it and turns off the flow of acetone. The Roadster

zips out of the truck and lands on the pavement, already

flexing and limbering. Behind him, a comical number of other

TOON DETAINEES hop out like midgets out of a Volkswagon.

They all head for the hills.

ROADSTER:

Well... what're we waitin' for, the

William Tell Overture?

ANGLE ON TERMINAL BAR - THE WEASLES

come piling out. They stack up like an Indian totem pole

searching every direction. One of them spots Eddie and

Roger. The Weasles stumble all over themselves in a mad

scramble down the stairs.

EDDIE AND ROGER:

hop into the sleek two-seater. Valiant looks at the myriad

of goofy cartoon gauges and switches on the Roadster's

dashboard.

VALIANT:

What do I do?

ROADSTER:

You don't have to do nothin'...

With a ferocious RUBBER BURNING SQUEAL, the Roadster ROARS

off in "no frames". The exit is so fast that Eddie and Roger

are left behind, hanging mid-air. But before they hit the

ground, the Roadster zips back INTO FRAME. Eddie and Roger

fall back into their seats. The Roadster bends around so his

grill is facing them.

ROADSTER:

(continuing)

Uh... except hang onto your hat.

The Roadster ROARS off again in a cloud of Toon dust.

INT. SANTINO'S COP CAR

coming the other way. It's followed by another squad car,

both with SIRENS BLARING. When the red blur streaks by, Lt.

Santino turns to his PARTNER.

LT. SANTINO

What the hell was that?

PARTNER:

Speeding rabbit, Lieutenant.

LT. SANTINO

That's what I was afraid of.

EXT. STREET

Santino's car does a 180 degree spin, and goes after the

Roadster. The second squad car follows. The Weasles pile

into the Toon Control wagon and join the chase.

INT. THE ROADSTER

rockets down the street, then takes a turn so wide that it

drives up the front of the corner building, then back down on

the sidewalk, just avoiding a newsstand. The squad car

following is not so dexterous. It CRASHES into the stand,

sending newspapers flying.

THE ROADSTER:

looks back over it's shoulder, admiring his handiwork.

ROADSTER:

Read all about it, Benny's back in

town!

Up ahead, an egg delivery truck is double-parked in their

lane. Benny snaps around just as they're about to crash into

the back of the truck. There's nowhere to go. But Benny's

cool.

ROADSTER:

Going up...

Suddenly, just before impact, the Toon suspension on the car

accordions up, giving it a clearance of about fifteen feet...

just enough to get over the truck.

THE TOON CONTROL WAGON

doesn't come with this unique feature. It tries to avoid the

truck but SMASHES into the back, splattering hundreds of eggs

and sending the Weasles flying.

EDDIE AND ROGER:

look down from their suspended position at the chaos behind.

ROADSTER:

Next floor, sundries, knick knacks,

escaped convicts. Watch your step.

The Roadster accordions back down to it's original height and

speeds past TWO MOTORCYCLE COPS. The motorcycles ROAR after

them.

ROGER RABBIT:

Hey, Benny, what were you in for?

ROADSTER:

Reckless driving. Do you believe that?

VALIANT:

Hard to imagine.

Benny zig-zags through traffic, scooting between cars, but

the Motorcycle Cops manage to stay on his tail. Up ahead,

traffic is stopped in his lane. With nowhere to go, Benny

passes a trolley car moving down the center of the street.

Suddenly, he swerves in front of the trolley to elude the

Cops... only to see another Red Car coming the other way.

ROADSTER:

Hold your breath, babies...

Benny sucks in his girth and gets on his tip-toes as the

trollies pass on either side of them.

WIDE SHOT:

When the trollies clear, Benny staggers out from between them

still on tip-toes. Benny plops down, squashes, then pops up

to his old self again.

BEHIND THEM:

The crippled Toon Control wagon is struggling to keep up.

Voltaire circles above the truck and picks two Weasles up off

the roof. They're each carrying several sticks of dynamite.

FROM THE AIR:

We see Voltaire flying after the Roadster, which is speeding

along the palm-lined Elysian Park Drive. The Weasles light

the dynamite sticks and with WHEEZING delight, bombard the

car below.

BENNY:

swerves right and left dodging the EXPLOSIONS. Now a stick

of dynamite falls into the back seat, fuse burning. Benny

looks back.

ROADSTER:

Hate to sound like Chicken Little, but

is the sky falling or what?

Eddie and Roger turn to see the dynamite, fuse burning low.

Valiant makes a desperate grab for it. But it rolls under

the front seat. Roger jumps in Eddie's lap.

ABOVE - VOLTAIRE AND THE WEASLES

satisfied that they've hit their target, swoop back to the

Toon Control wagon.

IN THE ROADSTER:

Valiant tries to untangle himself from Roger.

VALIANT:

Grab it, you idiot!

Finally, at the last second, Roger reaches down and picks the

dynamite up like a hot potato. He flips it out of the

Roadster.

THE DYNAMITE:

spins through the air, finally landing on the roof just as

Voltaire and the Weasles arrive. BOOM! The Toon Control

wagon is demolished. When the smoke clears we see the

Weasles and Voltaire scattered roadside, faces blackened,

feathers smoking.

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