Who Framed Roger Rabbit Page #2

Maroon quickly checks out the drawing.

MAROON:

No! That's not funny.

She flips another drawing.

MAROON:

(continuing)

That's funny. Put a homburg on him

it'll even be funnier. Huh, Valiant?

He grabs the pad and shows Valiant. The rendering is of a

hippo in a pink polka-dot tu-tu.

VALIANT:

(deadpan)

Yeah, that'd be a riot.

Maroon responds to Valiant's sarcasm with raised eyebrows.

MAROON:

Boy, I hope what you have ain't

contagious or I'll be out of business.

He hands the pad back to the designer, who departs.

MAROON:

(continuing)

How much do you know about show

business, Valiant?

VALIANT:

Only there's no business like it, no

business I know.

Valiant watches an ALLIGATOR in a rebel uniform dragging a

brace of cannons and several TOADSTOOLS parade by.

MAROON:

Yeah, and there's no business as

expensive. I'm twenty-five grand over

budget on the latest Bunnysitter

cartoon and it's all because that

rabbit can't keep his mind on his work.

And you know why?

VALIANT:

One too many safes dropped on his head?

MAROON:

Nah, that goes with the territory.

He's a stunt bunny.

Maroon takes a copy of the "Hollywood Tattler" out of his

pocket.

MAROON:

(continuing)

Here's the problem...

(reads)

"Seen cooing over calamari with

notsonew Sugar Daddy was Jessica

Rabbit... wife of Maroon star, Roger".

(looks up)

His wife's a tramp, but he thinks she's

Betty Crocker. The doubt's eatin' him

up.

VALIANT:

So what do you want me to do?

MAROON:

Get me a couple juicy pictures.

Somethin' I can wise the rabbit up

with.

VALIANT:

I don't work in Toontown.

MAROON:

You don't have to. The rabbit's wife

sings at an underground Toon revue

joint called The Ink & Paint Club. You

can catch her in action there.

VALIANT:

The job's gonna cost you a hundred

bucks.

MAROON:

A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous.

VALIANT:

So's the job.

Valiant starts to walk away.

MAROON:

All right, all right... You got your

hundred bucks.

Maroon turns, snaps his fingers. His Assistant appears out

of nowhere with Maroon's checkbook and a pen. The Assistant

turns and stoops so that Maroon can write the check on his

back.

MAROON:

(continuing)

Fifty now, fifty when you deliver the

pictures.

Maroon tears the check off and hands it to Valiant. Suddenly

Valiant ducks in reflex to a large shadow that passes

overhead.

MAROON:

(continuing;

chuckles)

Kinda jumpy aren't you, Valiant? It's

just Dumbo.

ABOVE THEIR HEADS - DUMBO

swoops back and forth, then hovers, ears flapping like a

hummingbird.

MAROON:

I got him on loan from Disney.

VALIANT:

Aren't you the lucky one...

Valiant grabs the check from Maroon and starts for the gate.

MAROON:

When will I hear from you?

VALIANT:

As soon as is humanly possible.

We FOLLOW Valiant out the gate under a wrought iron sign that

reads "Maroon Cartoon Studios". As he starts across the road

he's almost run over by a Toon roadster that ROARS out of the

gates. When it BLASTS ITS HORN, it's the FIRST FIVE NOTES

from the WOODY WOODPECKER SONG: "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA". Valiant

jumps back as the roadster passes. WOODY THE WOODPECKER'S

behind the wheel with a self-important smile on his face.

Valiant angrily waves the cloud of Toon dust away.

VALIANT:

(coughs)

Damn Toons.

ACROSS THE STREET - A TROLLEY CAR

is slowing to a stop in front of the studio. It's a Pacific

and Electric "Red Car", part of a vast system of electric

trollies that once criss-crossed the L.A. Basin. Valiant

steps onto the "Red Car". He reaches into his pocket to give

the CONDUCTOR his nickel fare. But he comes up with a

handful of lint. He holds out the check.

CONDUCTOR:

What do I look like, a bank?

The Conductor jerks his thumb toward the door. Valiant

suffers the public humiliation,of having to step down past

the rest of the boarding passengers. He walks around to the

back of the Red Car where a gang of TEN-YEAR-OLDS are

loitering. When the BELL SOUNDS and the Red Car starts to

pull away, the Kids make a dash for a place on the cow

catcher. Valiant joins them. We HOLD as the Red Car moves

away and the street urchins regard their older partner in

crime with curiosity.

DISSOLVE TO:

A BILLBOARD SIGN

It reads:
"L.A.'s Pacific and Electric Red Car -- America's

Finest Public Transportation System". PAN DOWN to see that

the sign is on the roof of the trolley terminal. Red Cars

are going in and out of the shed. MOVE IN on one car

approaching the terminal from down the street. As it passes

by...

VALIANT:

hops off his freeloader's seat on the back,

KID:

So long, mister.

Valiant waves laconically.

VALIANT:

Thanks for the cigarettes.

We FOLLOW Valiant as he crosses the street to a seedy

bungalow. A note is push-pinned to the door.

CLOSE - NOTE

It says:
"Tomorrow's Friday... Well? Dolores".

VALIANT:

takes the note and walks back across the street toward the

terminal. He climbs up a flight of stairs, heading for a bar

on the mezzanine. The bar sports a red neon sign that used

to blink, "The Terminal Station Bar". But now it just says,

"Terminal".

INT. TERMINAL BAR - DAY

The place must have been pretty swanky at the turn of the

century when it was built in the first burst of enthusiasm

over the new public transportation system. It's in the motif

of a trolley car. There's a large map on the wail above the

bar showing all the different lines. Behind the bar is

DOLORES. If you scraped off all the makeup, you'd find an

attractive woman in her late thirties. She ministers to a

rag-tag assortment of Hollywood low-lifes -- who are truly at

the end of the line.

VALIANT:

enters this den, lets his eyes adjust for a moment, then

bellies up to the bar. He finds a spot between a ONE-ARMED

BLACK SOLDIER and a MIDGET stretched out on the bar passed

out. Now a TROLLEY RUMBLES underneath them. The bar starts

to shake like an earthquake, the lights flicker. All the

drinkers, observing a time honored ritual, lift their glasses

simultaneously to avoid spilling any drops. Even the Midget

lifts his head until the trolley has passed. Valiant reaches

over the bar and blind-grabs a bottle of rye he obviously

knows is there. He pours himself a shot.

VALIANT:

Hey, fellas, what's the good word?

SOLDIER:

Lost my job.

An ARTHRITIC COWBOY pipes up.

COWBOY:

Mule died.

A DEAF-MUTE scribbles a note on a pad hanging around his

neck. He hands the note to Valiant. It says "My girl dumped

me". Valiant pats him on the back, consoling.

VALIANT:

Well, you know what they say about

dames, Augie...

Then Valiant mouths the rest of it for Augie's benefit only.

Augie reads his lips, then starts to roar silently, slapping

his thigh. Now Dolores makes her way down the bar. She

grabs the Midget by the suspenders and slides him out of the

way.

DOLORES:

So, makin' dame jokes, huh, Eddie?

Well, lemme remind ya pal, it was a

dame who took a hundred bucks out of

the till so your landlord would't

throw you out of your dump. And it was

a dame who trusted you for the money

when no one else in town would. And

it's a dame who's tired of waitin' for

you to straighten yourself out and get

a job!

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes