Who Framed Roger Rabbit Page #4

REACTION - VALIANT

This is not quite the bunny he expected Roger to be married

to. His jaw drops. And his reaction is mirrored all around

the room. The men are panting so hard you couldn't keep a

match lit.

CLOSEUP - JESSICA

as she steps to the mike.

JESSICA RABBIT:

(sings)

'You had plenty of money back

in '22

You let other woman make a fool

of you

Why don't you do right.

Like some other men do...

Get out of here and

Get me the money too...'

Jessica takes the mike and comes off the stage. Slinkily.

she wanders among the tables, teasing the men as she goes.

Now there's a HOWL from behind Valiant. A Tex Avery type

TOON WOLF, who came masquerading as a human, couldn't help

but show his true colors at the sight of Jessica. He HOWLS

as if it were a full moon. His tongue rolls out of his head

and piles up on the floor like so much clothesline. His

eyeballs telescope out of his head. And finally, the Wolf

levitates and snaps rigid like an open jacknife. As the Wolf

makes a rush for the stage, the Gorilla Bouncer grabs him by

the suspenders. The Wolf, legs spinning madly, practically

knocks Valiant's table over as he grabs at Jessica. But the

Wolf has come to the end of his suspenders. He snaps back

toward the Gorilla who is holding an anvil in front of the

suspenders. CLANG! The Wolf hits the anvil and slides to

the floor. The Gorilla calmly whisks him into a dustpan and

carries him out.

JESSICA:

like all good saloon singers, has continued her act

undaunted.

JESSICA RABBIT:

(singing)

'Why don't you do right.

Like some other men do...'

She sashays over to the Geezer's table. Teasingly, she

swirls the whisps of white hair onto his head into a Dairy

Queen. He giggles gleefully and makes a grab at Jessica.

But she slips out of his grasp like mercury.

JESSICA RABBIT:

(continuing)

'You ain't got no money

Ain't got no use for you...'

Now Jessica works her way over to Eddie. She stops at his

table and sings tauntingly. Then with a flourish, she throws

herself in his lap, and belts out the finale.

JESSICA RABBIT:

(continuing)

'So get out of here...

And get me the money toooo!'

There is RAUCOUS APPLAUSE when she finishes. Jessica looks

deep into Eddie's eyes.

JESSICA RABBIT:

(continuing)

Thanks for your lap.

Before Eddie can reply, she jumps off, and slinks offstage,

leaving Eddie a pile of human wreckage. Valiant slugs the

rest of his drink down to put out the fire in his libido.

When the lights come up, Valiant looks over to where Acme is

slicking down his eyebrows and patting his hair down. He

stands, picks up a bouquet of roses from the chair beside

him, and as he passes Valiant's table, gives him a big wink.

Valiant watches Acme disappear backstage. He stands, drops

a couple bucks on the table, and follows after him.

BACKSTAGE:

Valiant steps past the curtain, keeping a discreet distance.

He follows Marvin Acme down a corridor and around the corner.

Acme stops and knocks on a dressing room door. After a

moment, it opens and Acme goes inside. Valiant checks over

his shoulder, but the backstage area is empty. He eases over

to the door and puts his eye to the keyhole.

POV THROUGH KEYHOLE

Jessica is seated at her dressing table. Acme is on his

knees next to her, kissing his way up her gloved hand, eyes

closed in ecstasy. Jessica takes her hand out of the glove

and starts combing her hair, leaving Marvin kissing a

suspended Toon glove.

ANGLE ON VALIANT

while he continues his peeping. The Gorilla bouncer sneaks

up behind him.

GORILLA:

Hey, whaddaya think you're doin',

chump?

VALIANT:

Who're you callin' chump, chimp?

The Gorilla smiles sadistically when he recognizes Valiant.

GORILLA:

Oh, it's da comedian...

The Gorilla grabs Valiant by the belt and lifts him off the

ground. He opens the fire door and heaves Valiant out.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

Valiant comes flying out the door and CRASHES into a bunch of

garbage cans in the alley. The Gorilla stands in the doorvay

regarding the dazed Valiant.

GORILLA:

And don't lemme catch your peepin' face

around here again. Got it?

VALIANT:

Ooga-booga.

The Gorilla slams the door. Valiant picks himself up out of

the garbage. He brushes himself off, then starts down the

alley toward the rear of the building. We FOLLOW him around

the corner where he stops under Jessica's dressing room

window. He drags over a milk crate to stand on, takes a

small camera out of his pocket and opens the bellows. He

stands on the crate and aims the camera through the corner of

the window, as we HEAR the MUFFLED CONVERSATION from within.

ACME (O.S.)

Are we going to play pattycake tonight?

JESSICA RABBIT (0.5.)

Marvin, I have a headache...

ACME (O.S.)

(hurt)

But you promised...

JESSICA RABBIT (O.S.)

Oh, all right. But this time take that

hand buzzer off...

Valiant's eyes widen in disgust.

VALIANT:

Jesus Christ...

As he starts CLICKING pictures...

CUT TO:

EXT. MAROON STUDIO - LATE NIGHT

There's one light on in the Administration building.

INT. MAROON'S OFFICE - NIGHT

It's a large art deco office with walls covered with photos

of Maroon and various celebrities, human and Toon. R.K.

Maroon is seated behind his desk. Standing nearby is

Valiant. They are both regarding a hysterical Roger Rabbit,

who's holding a set of 8 x lO glossies. He's WAILING and

CRYING, Toon tears flooding off him in a torrent.

ROGER RABBIT:

Pattycake! Pattycake!

VALIANT:

Baker's man... but no use ruinin' a

good pair of shoes over it.

ANGLE ON RUG:

Roger's tears have formed a puddle around the desk. Valiant

lifts a well-worn oxford and shakes the water off it.

MAROON:

hands Roger his handkerchief. Roger AAH-OO-GA'S his nose.

MAROON:

Take comfort, son, you're not the first

man whose wife played pattycake on him.

ROGER RABBIT:

I don't believe it. I won't believe

it.

MAROON:

The pictures don't lie. Mr. Valiant

here took them himself.

Roger takes another look at the pictures.

CLOSE - PHOTOS

They're shots of Jessica Rabbit and Marvin Acme seated knee

to knee, caught in the act of slapping palms... really

playing pattycake.

BACK TO SCENE:

Maroon gets up and crosses to a bar table set up by the

window. He pours a drink from a crystal decanter as Roger

starts sobbing again.

ROGER RABBIT:

But Jessy... she's the light of my

life, the apple of my eye, the cream in

my coffee...

Valiant eyes the booze longingly as he mutters to himself.

VALIANT:

Well, you better start thinkin' about

drinkin' it black.

MAROON:

Frankly, I'm shocked. Marvin Acme's

been my friend and neighbor for thirty

years.

Maroon gestures out the window. We see a blinking neon sign

on the roof of the building across the street -- "Acme - If

It's Acme - It's A Gasser!"

MAROON:

(continuing)

Who would have thought he was the Sugar

Daddy?

Maroon turns and carries the drink to Roger. Meanwhile,

Valiant sidles over to the bar to help himself.

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