Who Framed Roger Rabbit Page #7

TROLLEYMAN:

(wistfully)

The old Number Six Line... who'da

thought they'd close that one down?

DOLORES:

Eddie, get him down from there. He's

gonna break his neck.

Eddie grabs Earl around the legs and throws him over his

shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He carries him over to a

booth and puts him down carefully, covering him with a

tablecloth.

TROLLEYMAN:

Took you right to Toontown, it did.

VALIANT:

I know, I know... poor S.O.B.

Valiant walks back to his drink at the bar.

DOLORES:

Do you think the rabbit did it?

VALIANT:

I don't wanna think. I wanna drink.

VOICE (O.S.)

Make that a round.

Valiant and Dolores look down the bar, but there's no one

there. Finally the familiar cowlick of Baby Herman rises to

the top of the bar as he clambers up a barstool.

DOLORES:

We don't serve formula. Snookums.

BABY HERMAN:

You serve martinis, doncha?

DOLORES:

Yeah...

Baby Herman slides his baby bottle down the bar to Dolores.

BABY HERMAN:

Make it dry. Baby doesn't like to be

wet.

(to Valiant)

You're Valiant, right? The name's Baby

Herman.

VALIANT:

I know who you are. Kinda out of your

neighborhood, aren't you?

BABY HERMAN:

Yeah, I had to go slummin'. See, a

friend of mine's bein' framed.

VALIANT:

You mean the rabbit? They got him

cold.

BABY HERMAN:

You don't believe that. I mean. the

guy's an idiot, a moron, a complete

fool... but he'd never kill anyone.

I know the guy.

Dolores brings Baby Herman his baby bottle cocktail.

BABY HERMAN:

(continuing)

Thanks, doll.

When Dolores turns around, Baby Herman pats her on the

bottom.

DOLORES:

(over her

shoulder)

Oh, a ladies man, huh?

BABY HERMAN:

(sotto voce; to

Valiant)

My problem is I got a fifty-year-old

lust and a three-year-old dinkie.

VALIANT:

My problem is I come here to drink in

peace. So if you don't mind...

BABY HERMAN:

C'mon, Valiant, doesn't this whole

thing smell a bit funny to you? I

mean, no offense, but how did a

mucky-muck like R.K. Maroon find you in

the first place?

DOLORES:

(chiming in)

Yeah, Eddie, it's not like you got an

ad in the Yellow Pages.

VALIANT:

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

BABY HERMAN:

And another thing, the paper said no

will was found. But every Toon knows

Acme had a will and, in it he promised

to leave Toontown to the Toons.

VALIANT:

So where is it then?

BABY HERMAN:

Somebody took it from him. That's what

this whole thing's about.

DOLORES:

The papers said the safe door was

opened, Eddie.

VALIANT:

Stick to stuffin' the olives, willya,

Dolores?

BABY HERMAN:

My hunch is it was Maroon. He always

was after Acme's property.

VALIANT:

Yeah? Does he wear pants this color?

Valiant takes the paint chip out of his pocket and dangles it

in front of Baby Herman.

BABY HERMAN:

No. But neither does Roger. That's

Diablo Red. Roger's pants are Sunrise

Orange.

DOLORES:

Well, I'll be...

BABY HERMAN:

So what's your next move, Valiant?

VALIANT:

My next move? That's easy. I'm

gettin' up, and I'm walkin' out the

door, and I'm goin' home to bed.

Valiant stands.

DOLORES:

So you're not even gonna bother to find

out if the rabbit's gettin' framed?

VALIANT:

He's a Toon... who cares?

Baby Herman shakes his head sorrowfully. As Valiant heads

for the door, Dolores whaps her towel down on the bar.

DOLORES:

Well, you used to care, Eddie. And it

didn t matter if a client's skin was

black, white, or painted!

Valiant ignores her and walks out the door.

INT. VALIANT'S HOUSE - DAY

Eddie comes in the door with his coat over his shoulder. He

tosses the jacket over the chair and walks to the Murphy bed.

He grabs the strap, and loosening his tie, walks away from

the wall, pulling the bed down. What he doesn't see is...

ROGER RABBIT:

asleep in the bed.

VALIANT:

still with his back to Roger, sits down exhaustedly on the

bed and kicks off his shoes. He lies back and pulls the

covers over him. He closes his eyes, rolls over to get

comfortable. Now he and Roger are nose-to-nose. They both

open their eyes at the same time. They freak.

VALIANT:

(screams)

Aah!

ROGER RABBIT:

(screams)

Aah!

They both jump out of the bed.

VALIANT:

What the hell are you doin'?

ROGER RABBIT:

I needed a place to hide. I'm in

trouble, Eddie.

VALIANT:

So I hear. Even talkin' to you could

get me a rap for aiding and abetting.

ROGER RABBIT:

Don't worry, Eddie, no one knows I'm

here.

VALIANT:

Oh, yeah? Then how'd you find my

house?

ROGER RABBIT:

Well, I asked the newsboy on the

corner. He didn't know. Then I asked

a janitor, the fireman and finally the

green grocer down the way. He was very

helpful.

VALIANT:

In other words, the whole goddamn world

knows you're here! Out! Get out!

Eddie tries to open the door, but Roger blocks it

spider-like, arms and legs extended.

ROGER RABBIT:

Please, Eddie, don't put me out. I

didn't do it, I swear.

Valiant gives up trying to open the door and grabs Roger. He

pulls and he pulls. Finally Roger snaps off like a broken

rubber band. The two of them go tumbling backward. Valiant

makes a grab for Roger but he slips out of his grasp like

quicksilver.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

Sure I wanted to win Jessy back, but

not that way.

Valiant lunges again. Roger dodges.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

After I left you, I went to see her at

the Ink & Paint Club.

Valiant picks himself up and tries to catch his breath.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

She was on stage, so I found a piece of

paper and wrote her a love letter.

Roger pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and starts

reading.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

'Dear Jessy. How do I love thee? Let

me count the ways. 1-1000, 2-1000,

3-1000...

Valiant leaps for Roger and gets bim by the throat. He rips

the paper out of Roger's hand and crumples it up and throws

it down. He opens the door, throws Roger outside and quickly

slams the door shut. He leans against it, breathing hard.

Suddenly, Roger comes through the mail slot like a limbo

dancer. Valiant, too tired to chase him, just watches him.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

Hey, that wasn't very nice.

He retrieves the love letter, straightens it and puts it back

in his pocket.

ROGER RABBIT:

(continuing)

It took me almost an hour to compose

that. But I decided not to leave it

anyway. I'd read it in person, that

was my plan.

Valiant crosses to the kitchen area where the dark room is

still set up. He opens the cabinet under the sink and comes

out with a bottle of Scotch. He takes a shot glass and pours

himself one.

VALIANT:

Look, pal, if you're still here when I

finish this drink, I'm callin' the

police.

ROGER RABBIT:

Don't do that! I'm innocent I tell ya.

The police'll just dip me. They were

waitin' for me when I got home last

night. I ran.

VALIANT:

If you're so innocent, why'd you run?

ROGER RABBIT:

Gee, Eddie, I'm a rabbit. We always

run.

Valiant shoots the drink down and holds up the empty glass.

VALIANT:

That's it.

He crosses to the phone on the counter. He lifts the

receiver and starts to dial.

ROGER RABBIT:

Well, this is the moment of truth! And

I've spoken the truth, but you won't

believe the truth. So I guess the

truth is my goose is cooked, my hash is

slung. my fait is accompli.

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