Wiener-Dog Page #2

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of that sh*t sticks.

Yeah.

- Well, um...

- Maybe, uh...

So, uh, do you want

to exchange e-mails or...

I don't know, maybe catch up?

We're kind of caught up now.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, but, like,

I'm really just passing through.

That's okay.

Totally cool.

Well, take care.

Take care!

Hey. There you go.

There you go.

Good.

Yeah.

Hey there, little meaner.

Her name is Doo Dee.

You mean, like, sh*t?

I got her a week or so ago.

She was sick,

but now she's much better.

She likes you.

Yeah, dogs like me.

She looks like you.

Thanks.

I'm going to Ohio tomorrow.

I leave early.

You want to come along?

What's in Ohio?

Crystal meth.

Okay.

- Joke.

- Yeah.

I-I-I know.

I miss nothing here.

Hi.

Doo Dee

Doo Dee

Doo

Dee, Doo Dee

You wait here.

Who was that?

Nobody.

You like it here in America?

No.

We prefer Mexico.

But isn't it very dangerous

there now?

I mean, with the drug violence?

Yes, but not so lonely.

In America, so lonely.

And sad.

And depressing.

Like a big,

fat elephant

drowning in a sea of despair.

Sometimes it's just too hard

to lose weight

and to give up.

Doo Dee

Doo Dee

Doo

Dee, Doo Dee

Wait here.

Well, it certainly was nice

to meet all of you.

- Adis.

- Adis.

Good luck finding a job.

Doo Dee

Doo Dee

Doo

Dee, Doo Dee

Doo

Come on.

- Where are we?

- My brother's.

- Brandon?!

- Hey, Tommy!

- Hi, I'm Dawn.

- Hi.

Hey, look, April!

- Coming!

- It's a wiener dog!

- Oh.

- Her name is Doo Dee.

You mean, like doody doody?

Hey, I love Doo Dee.

Mmm.

Mmm!

These hot dogs are really good.

Thanks.

We have them every night

for supper.

- With hot dog rolls!

- Mmm!

Can I give her a hot dog?

Wiener dogs love hot dogs.

Well, she has kind

of a sensitive stomach.

Does she get diarrhea a lot?

Um...

Go ahead.

Go ahead, April.

Doo Doo

Doo

Dee, Doo Dee, Doo

Doo doo doo dee doo

Dee dee doo dee doo doo doo

Dee doo

Say, April.

It's a beautiful day outside.

Would you like to go for a walk?

What for?

I just thought it would be nice

if we could talk.

Yeah.

I like talking.

Me, too.

What should we talk about?

I'm really glad

we're getting to have

this one-on-one time,

kind of...

girls only, you know?

'Cause I wanted

us to get the chance

to bond and talk about things.

Tommy, Brandon.

The way sometimes he just

doesn't get me, you know?

And then his elusiveness

and intractability.

Relationships.

Oh.

Why are you stopping, April?

Can we go back inside?

Oh, already?

I want to go home.

Did I say something wrong?

Heads up, b*tch.

I win, I win, I win!

Yeah! Let's play again!

Uh, okay.

Okay, but let's take

a little break first.

How long?

- 10 minutes.

- Five minutes.

Okay, five minutes.

- Five minutes.

- Five minutes.

- And then we play again.

- And then we'll play again.

Five minutes.

Uh, come on,

let's go outside.

Okay.

Tommy?

Yeah?

You know how Dad

had a drinking problem?

Yeah. But he worked

real hard.

Now he doesn't drink anymore.

But then he started

drinking again.

- He did?

- Yeah.

But he told me he stopped.

He stopped...

and then he started again.

Why?

He couldn't help himself.

But he told me he stopped.

The drinking made Dad

very sick.

I know.

That's why he stopped.

He died, Tommy.

But...

I spoke to him last week.

He spoke to you,

and then he died.

Why?

He drank too much.

But he told me he stopped.

He did.

And then he started again,

and he got sick and died.

But he told me he stopped.

I went looking

for Dad's family.

Tracked them down.

I thought we were his family.

He has a brother and a sister.

But we're his family.

You're right, we're his family.

He has no brother and sister.

You're right, they were just...

names.

He had no brother and sister.

You're right.

So...

he died?

Did you stop doing drugs?

Yes.

- Promise?

- Yes.

And you won't start

doing them again.

No.

Promise?

Yes.

No more drugs?

No more drugs.

Promise?

Promise.

Dee doo

Well...

we got to hit the road.

Wait.

She should stay here.

She belongs here.

Really?

I always wanted a leash.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Oh.

I was wondering...

what happens

if April gets pregnant?

Won't happen.

Tubes tied.

Oh.

And your brother?

He was taken care of also.

My dad didn't want

to take any chances.

Doo Dee will feel at home.

Yeah.

S...

Where do we go from here?

See where we are

when we run out of gas.

And then?

Now long ago

This land was just

a-waiting to be found

No one's eyes

had seen the vistas

And no feet had touched

the ground

The eagle and the sparrow

Were the only ones

who'd seen

The purple

of the mountains

And the valleys

lush and green

But on wagon and on foot

The pioneers began to roam

Crossing mountains,

forging rivers

On the quest

to find a home

They all had band together

Ah, but legends walk alone

On the trail

for something better

And a place

to call their own

Wiener-Dog,

Wiener-Dog

She soldiers on where angels

fear to tread

Wiener-Dog,

Wiener-Dog

Just looking

for some shelter

And a place

to rest her head

See, at first, I really

wanted to get the Green Hornet

and the Green Lantern

together in a movie.

It's never been done.

Yeah, it's too complicated

and expensive with the rights.

Marvel is extremely guarded

about its trademarks.

So, instead,

I thought I'd come up

with my own

original superheroes,

get the copyrighted,

and go to work.

I mean, has a film student

ever done that for a short film?

I don't think so.

And then...

I could create original

villains, as well.

For instance, there's...

There's Sticky Fingers.

I really like that name.

And, remember, this is all

extremely confidential, please.

So Sticky Fingers has this power

where anything he touches sticks

to his fingers.

It makes it really easy

for him to rob people

without their realizing it.

Like there's a special type

of gum

at the end of each finger

that can pick up

money or merchandise.

Anyway, the police force

is at wit's end,

the mayor of the city.

Sticky Fingers is on the front

page of every paper.

But then um, uh...

Well,

this is where I have trouble.

I mean, where do I go from here?

I know how you're always

saying about the story,

"what if," "then what?"

But that's what I don't know

the answer to.

What do you think

Sticky Fingers should do?

- Hey, Professor Schmerz.

- Have a great weekend!

Trey Silver's office.

Hi. This is Dave Schmerz.

I was just wondering

if you had any idea

of when Trey might get around

to looking at the screenplay

I sent back in November.

It was a new draft.

Oh, Dave, I'm so sorry.

Did...

Did Trey not get back to you?

No, not yet.

I sent him a bunch of e-mails,

but I haven't had any reply.

Well, he's been, like, crazy

busy these last few weeks.

The whole agency's doing

this radical reshuffle.

Oh, wait, I think he's just

wrapping up his FaceTime.

Let me see

if I can pull some magic.

Oh. It looks like he just

hopped on another

conference call.

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