Wild Cherry Page #5

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Okay. I got it.

At best it should be the sprinkles

on your icing. That's all.

Thank you.

Oh!

What?

I really appreciate it, Dad.

I promise he will only be my sprinkles!

Do you not want a salad?

You know she'll never do it.

What are you talking about?

Sex. You can

see it in her eyes.

She's just the type of

girl that leads guys on

and takes her

virginity to the grave.

But hey, call me when

you're tired of waiting.

Oh, nice suit.

You look like

a sperm with a face.

It's funny, yeah.

I don't have to remind you how

precise this work is, right?

No kidding around,

no joking. Seriously!

Relax, okay?

What is this?

Oh, it's papier-mch.

I just mixed it, so,

like, when it dries

it gets all hard

and stuff, you know.

So it means the faster you work, the

faster it'll mold to the frame, got it?

Yeah. So you're saying this stuff

can pretty much mold to anything.

Yeah, pretty much.

I bet you 100 bucks

that I can get every chick in the class

to touch my unit at the game next week.

A hundred bucks?

Yeah.

Oh, buddy, you're on.

Oh, Franky boy.

Easiest 100 bucks

I'll ever make.

Hey, man, where you going

with my papier-mch?

Oh. Wow, that's cold.

Chase has

something to say first.

I do?

Come on. Just

tell her already.

Come on.

I'm sorry for what

I said yesterday.

I'm sure that you and Stanny have, you know,

a very mature and loving relationship.

- Chase.

- Okay.

We came up with another plan. Something that'll

make the guys feel just as used as we do.

Keys and

a camera. What?

I thought they

locked this place.

They do. But I have the keys.

But you have to be quiet.

- Okay.

- Sh.

Take off your shirt.

Turn around.

All right.

Oh, nice.

They say if you block one of your five

senses, the other four become heightened.

Really? Like touch?

Pants, too.

Okay.

There you go.

Okay. I'll be

right back.

Okay.

I'll be here.

High school memory

And in September

Will you be

A big-shot

College jock

And forget all

About little old me

I know

I know our love

Was meant to be

So don't let

Our love become

A high school memory

I remember the prom

And the ball

And all the things

we've done

Don't let

these memories fade

Whoa, whoa, wait. Jesus Christ!

What are you doing?

What are you guys doing here?

I'm on a date!

Oh, man.

I don't believe this.

What are you doing?

Don't f***ing, don't...

Oh, shoot.

- You guys playing hide the pickle out here?

- No.

Well, I'm sure you got a good reason for why

you got your peckers out, so let me hear it?

- It's just a practical joke, coach.

- Yeah.

There's supposed

to be girls here.

Well, that might be true

and it might not be.

But put those puppies in the pound

and get the hell outta here.

Thanks, coach.

Who told? H uh?

Wasn't me.

Dude, the girls found out

on their own. Okay?

I can't believe this.

We gotta lock these chicks down, man.

- Stanford, I can see your...

- Shut up, all right?

We gotta do something

about this.

Okay, okay, I know what to do.

Just follow me. Okay?

They're everywhere, man.

He's just up here.

The guy who started the book?

Yeah, of course the guy who started the book.

We need help, we see the best.

Yo yo yo, check this out.

Howdy, ladies.

If one of you guys called about the

ten-speed, you're three minutes too late.

No, no, we're looking for Pete.

Ta dah. And that's

Handsome Pete.

Need a ride, step inside.

We're from Benjamin Dover.

That time of year again?

I should've known. It's the book.

Yeah. Uh, some girls

actually found out about lt.

Look, we need your

help. What do we do?

Well, if you have 'em already

checked off, nothing!

Next year everything

goes back to normal.

No, that's the problem.

Yeah, uh, we haven't exactly, you

know, finished the list per se.

Guys sure have it rough, huh?

So much pressure.

Always having to make the first move.

That's why I invented the book.

It makes guys talk to girls.

It's an icebreaker.

Wha-what are we

supposed to say though?

Sensitive crap,

stuff from the heart.

You know, like maybe you

got some special talent.

You show her that, you're in!

I mean, I know I guy who got laid off

of making' a girl a macaroni necklace.

And if you're a dimwit and

you can't think of anything

drop the "L" word.

Mm, lesbian.

Oh, yeah.

Right time, right place,

that don't hurt, either.

Like a party?

Yeah.

Thats actually a good idea.

I gotta get this. It's

my macaroni necklace.

Hi, honey.

- So it's settled, boys. Party at my place.

- Yes.

Every man for himself.

I like it.

You all know what this is.

Skeet's party is this Saturday night.

We're all going to go

and have a great time

but you must remember that

there's gonna be temptation.

Alcohol, expectations

to give it up.

They're pulling out

all the stops.

They may even take

showers and smell nice.

These guys all think that they have us

wrapped around their little fingers.

But we're gonna go to that party and show

them that it takes a hell of a lot more

than some cheesy pick-up line or weak

attempts at flattery to get in our pants.

This is our chance, ladles.

We're the ones with the power.

So, who's with us?

Yes, Sabrina?

It's only six days left.

I think I can make it.

Well, did you enjoy your swim?

That's very funny.

Actually, I still can't figure out how you

got Coach Becker to bust us like that.

Luck.

- Look, I know what this is all about.

- And?

And I just, I think we

should wipe the slate clean.

You know, let's just forget

about the stupid book.

A truce?

Yes, a truce.

Okay?

Okay.

You're not mad then?

No, I'm not mad.

I should be asking you that. Okay?

I-I just, I want it to be like

it was before, that's all.

Sounds perfect.

Okay.

Well, I have to go.

Okay. Wait.

What? Oh.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Dude, it's a trap.

I don't think so.

Stanford and I are just gonna put the

whole bang book thing behind us.

- Right.

- Well, he said so.

Well, I think it's the other girls that

we should really be worried about.

Look, worst case scenario, I stole a bottle

of these from my brother's private stash.

You put a few in the

punch, boner central.

- Oh my God.

- Is it safe?

- My brother uses them all the

time with his girlfriend. - Ew.

Uh, hey, Helen? Do you think we're

gonna want these old albums over there?

What?

What are you doing?

Packing.

Why, where are you going?

To Paris!

I've decided you're right.

We should get outta

here and move to Paris.

I'm coming with you.

I already talked to Uncle Jack.

He's calling around for me, and he

thinks he's already got a job for me.

It turns out they have the same sprinkler

systems in Paris that they got here.

Is that nuts or what?

You're joking, right?

I'm not gonna interfere.

We'll be like roommates.

Just treat me like one of your girlfriends.

You didn't raise an idiot.

I'm a strong person.

I know you are.

Well, you're not treating me like one.

I'm not your little girl anymore.

I can take care of myself.

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