Wild Hogs Page #25

WOODY:

No. I wasn't even going to take this

thing out, but I didn't want you to think

I was just standing at the lake waiting

for you.

DOUG:

Why were you here?

WOODY:

Bud told me to stand at the lake and wait

for you.

Doug nods. Bob walks up on the shore, holding a

styrofoam cup.

BOB:

Hey, guys.

DOUG:

Hey, Bob. Worms?

Bob looks at the styrofoam cup and nods.

BOB:

Are we all good?

WOODY:

Yeah, Bob. We're all good.

Woody smiles at Doug.

DOUG:

(TO BOB)

Throw us that paddle.

Bob nods and picks up a paddle. He throws it toward the

canoe, but it lands ten yards short and sinks.

BOB:

Sh*t. Hold on.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 94.

Bob grabs another paddle and throws it. This time it

lands even shorter. Bob looks around for another paddle.

DOUG:

Were those the only two paddles?

BOB:

(BUMMED)

Yeah.

DOUG:

Oh.

Bob sits down on the grass.

BOB:

You guys'll drift in.

DOUG:

(BUMMED)

Yeah.

Woody and Doug look around at the water. It's as still

as glass. They sit there awkwardly as Bob waits on

shore.

INT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

A cook from the diner is at the kitchen stove, making

something in a big pot, as a crowd of townspeople eat in

the kitchen and dining room. MAGGIE and DUDLEY cross

through the kitchen, and out to the front porch.

EXT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS

Maggie sits on the porch swing and takes a breath.

MAGGIE:

Well, we can't seat many people in there,

but at least we're back in business.

DUDLEY:

Sorry those jerks are in your diner.

MAGGIE:

Ah, we're used to them costing us money.

Last year we spent more on window glass

than pancake batter. All because of

them.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 95.

DUDLEY:

It makes me sick. Thinking they're too

good for pancakes.

MAGGIE:

No, I meant... They damage the diner a

lot. They damage the whole town. I'm

just sorry you guys got dragged into it.

You were just out to have a good

vacation.

Dudley looks at Maggie sincerely.

DUDLEY:

This has been the best vacation of my

life. I met you.

Maggie blushes.

MAGGIE:

You bikers probably tell all the girls

that.

This hits Dudley. He suddenly looks troubled.

DUDLEY:

Maggie, I have to tell you something.

I'm not really a cool biker or a cool...

anything. I'm a computer programmer. A

nerd. My cat doesn't even like me. She

watches me sleep and I don't know why. I

think she's waiting for me to stop

breathing. I'm just a... Geek. I'm

sorry if you thought I was somebody I'm

not.

Maggie takes this in. After a moment, she smiles and

kisses Dudley.

MAGGIE:

You're not a geek, Dudley. You're sweet

and your honest and... You're the

coolest guy I know. Your cat is crazy if

it doesn't like you as much as I do.

Dudley smiles. He has completely fallen for her.

MAGGIE (CONT'D)

Well, I better get back inside. I've got

to set some chairs up in the family room

for the lunch rush. People gotta eat.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 96.

Maggie smiles and heads inside. Dudley watches her go,

then grits his teeth.

DUDLEY:

Oh, people will eat. Don't you worry,

Maggie. People will eat.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. MAIN STREET DINER - A FEW MINUTES LATER

DUDLEY kicks open the front door. JACK and the other

Hells Angels are inside, drinking and carrying on.

DUDLEY:

Alright, let's end this!

The Hells Angels don't even notice him. Dudley bites his

lip in frustration.

DUDLEY (CONT'D)

(YELLS)

Hey! !

Dudley takes a table full of empty beer glasses and flips

it over. Everyone in the diner goes silent and looks at

him. Jack stands up and smiles.

JACK:

Well, well. One of you came to face the

music, huh? That's brave. And stupid.

The Hells Angels laugh. Dudley takes a deep breath and

walks up to Jack.

DUDLEY:

I'm not here to face any music. I'm here

to make you a deal. A deal I think you'd

be smart to take.

JACK:

Yeah? What deal?

DUDLEY:

You leave the town of Lucas, and my

friends alone, and I do something for

you. Something you can't live without.

Jack looks interested. Dudley confidently sets a laptop

on the counter, and punches a few keys. He swivels it

around to show the gang.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 97.

DUDLEY (CONT'D)

See where that says "Domain for sale?"

Guess what that means. Your gang doesn't

have a website! Nothing! No way to tell

people about your history, post photos,

sell shirts... You guys are living in

the complete dark ages!

(laughs cockily, then)

So they way I see it: I need a favor

from you and you need a favor from me.

Jack walks over to the computer and looks at Dudley for a

moment. He then picks the computer up and smashes it

down on the ground. It breaks into a hundred pieces.

Jack smiles at Dudley and puts his foot through what's

left of it. The Hells Angels stifle laughter. Dudley is

starting to look a little nervous.

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