Wild Hogs Page #26

JACK:

(TO DUDLEY)

No deal.

Dudley nods.

DUDLEY:

Okay, then. Thanks for hearing me out.

Dudley starts for the door, but several Hells Angels move

over and block his path. Dudley stops and collects

himself for a moment - then breaks into a panicked sprint

for the other exit. The Hells Angels quickly spring into

action and tackle him to the ground.

DUDLEY (CONT'D)

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!!

The Hells Angels pull off him, confused.

OILCAN:

What?

DUDLEY:

Sanctuary. You have to take me to a

church and leave me alone.

The Hells Angels look at each other and shrug.

OILCAN:

(TO DUDLEY)

No we don't.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 98.

DUDLEY:

(DEFEATED)

I know.

The Hells Angels move back in on him. Dudley closes his

eyes and rolls into a ball.

EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF MAGGIE'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

DOUG, BOB, and WOODY are walking back from the lake, and

pass by Maggie's house. BUD, standing on the porch, sees

them and smiles.

BUD:

If you're heading back to town, I

wouldn't go on an empty stomach.

The guys see Bud and smile.

BUD (CONT'D)

Come have lunch. This is kind of our

"fallout" diner. Smaller kitchen, but

less piss on the bathroom floor.

DOUG:

Well, we can change that.

Bud laughs as the guys enter the house.

INT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER

DOUG, BOB and WOODY are sitting at one of many card

tables arranged in the family room, eating lunch.

CHARLEY enters through the front door..

CHARLEY:

Hey, guys. Having your final meal?

Charley laughs. Doug, Bob and Woody don't.

CHARLEY (CONT'D)

Sorry.

BOB:

(TO CHARLEY)

Where are Buck and Earl?

CHARLEY:

They're coming. Buck's ear is giving him

some equilibrium problems.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 99.

EARL ENTERS, holding the door open for BUCK, who walks

through slowly.

EARL:

(TO BUCK)

Just keep your eyes forward and head up.

BUCK:

I'm fine.

Buck walks a few more steps, then starts to tilt left.

He quickly loses his balance and falls sideways, taking

out a card table full of food and the old man sitting at

it.

EARL:

Goddammit.

Earl helps Buck up and they join the guys at their table.

BUCK:

Hey, guys. Having your final meal?

Buck and Earl laugh. Nobody else does.

CHARLEY:

(sternly, to Buck and Earl)

That's out of line, guys.

EARL:

Sorry.

Buck looks around the table.

BUCK:

Hey, isn't one of you missing?

WOODY:

Yeah, Dudley's with Maggie somewhere.

MAGGIE COMES OUT OF THE KITCHEN and approaches the table.

MAGGIE:

Hey, guys. Where's Dudley?

DOUG:

He's with you, isn't he?

MAGGIE:

No. I thought he went to find you guys.

Doug shares a worried glance with Bob and Woody.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 100.

DOUG:

(TO CHARLEY)

Charley, can I borrow your phone?

Charley hands it to him, and Doug starts to dial.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Dudley has mine. I'll just call him.

WOODY:

He has a phone? What happened to

freedom?

DOUG:

He needed to call his answering machine

so his cat could hear his voice.

(THEN)

Here we go. It's ringing...

(TO MAGGIE)

He probably snuck off somewhere to buy

you some romantic gift or something. No

big deal.

BOB:

That's it. He's never had a girlfriend

so he's probably getting carried away.

He once drank eighteen Mocha Latte's

because the Starbucks clerk was smiling

at him.

WOODY:

I remember that. His pee turned brown

and he started crying.

DOUG:

Yeah. And the girl wasn't even smiling -

she just had a cleft lip.

(INTO PHONE)

Hello? Dudley?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. MAIN STREET DINER - SIMULTANEOUS

Jack stands next to Dudley, who is duct-taped to a chair

with so much tape that it looks like he's in a cocoon.

Only his head is uncovered. Jack holds Dudley's

cellphone.

JACK:

(INTO PHONE)

Try again, a**hole.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 101.

INT. BUD AND MAGGIE'S HOUSE - SIMULTANEOUS

DOUG:

(knowingly, to group)

Nope. The Hells Angels have him.

Doug gives a look to the other guys. They mouth "Sh*t:"

INT. MAIN STREET DINER - SIMULTANEOUS

JACK:

(INTO PHONE)

Damn right, the Hells Angels. Your

friend paid us a little visit. And now

he's hurting reeeeal bad.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote