Wild Wild West Page #15

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JIM:

(grim)

When we find him, he is mine.

ARTEMUS:

Oh, no, we split him fifty-fifty.

Jim spots something. Points off.

ANGLE - THEIR P.O.V. - A LONE FIGURE

on a nearby hilltop, silhouetted against a rising moon.

EXT. HILLTOP - NIGHT

The figure is a Native American, an ACOMA BRAVE. He's

utterly confused and stunned by what he's seen. Jim and

Artemus quietly approach.

ARTEMUS:

Hope he knows some English...

But Jim holds up a hand, silencing Artemus, and sits beside

the man. Jim uses sign language. The entire scene plays

in SILENCE. We see SUBTITLES for the following:

JIM:

(signs)

Did you see the thing that did

this?

The man nods.

JIM:

(signs)

It was big?

ACOMA BRAVE:

(signs)

Very big. Made of iron.

JIM:

(signs)

A lot of steam and noise? With

big guns?

The Indian nods.

JIM:

(signs)

Where is it now? Where did it go?

The man points off to some distant mountains.

ACOMA BRAVE:

(signs)

It lives there, in the Ghost

Mountains, where no living man

goes.

JIM:

Figures.

ARTEMUS:

What? What figures? What did he

see?

EXT. DESERT HILLS - NIGHT

Jim and Artemus, now on horseback, ride along an old desert

trail in the moonlight..

ARTEMUS:

(derisive)

Ghost mountains... No self

respecting ghost would live out

here.

Jim's been eyeing the ground.

JIM:

Awful lot of fresh wagon tracks

for a place "no living man goes."

EXT. NEAR THE MOUNTAINS - DAY

Jim and Artemus still follow the tracks.

ARTEMUS:

What if these tracks are just

leading us to an Indian village or

some old coot's mining claim?

JIM:

Not likely. There must be tracks

of twenty different wagons. Freight

wagons, carriages, buckboards...

Jim suddenly wheels his horse and stops.

JIM:

Look at that.

TILT DOWN TO SEE all the wagon tracks end abruptly along

a straight line. Beyond the line is completely untouched

ground.

ARTEMUS:

Well, that's something different.

Jim follows the tracks back from the straight line, noting

that they all make a short detour to pass close to a lone

Joshua tree.

JIM:

And they all make this little turn

here, to pass right by this Joshua

tree.

Jim rides over to examine the tree. He whacks it with

his pistol butt. We hear an incongruous metallic CLANK!

Jim and Artemus exchange a look.

Jim eyes a branch that extends over the trail -- gives it

a tentative pull. It swings like a lever. MACHINERY

RUMBLES underground.

Artemus' horse rears as a rectangle of desert floor thirty-

feet long LIFTS STRAIGHT UP!

It's an underground elevator, its roof disguised as desert.

Where the wagon tracks have all stopped is the point where

wagons ride onto the elevator.

Artemus turns graciously to Jim:

ARTEMUS:

Excellent detective work, sir.

(re the tunnel)

You should have the honor of going

first.

JIM:

(sarcastic)

Oh, thank you.

ARTEMUS:

My pleasure.

Jim rides onto the platform. Artemus follows. He spots

another lever on the elevator wall and gives it a kick.

The elevator RUMBLES and starts to descend.

INT. TUNNEL - NIGHT

Jim and Artemus are lowered into a long tunnel and start

riding cautiously toward dim light at the other end.

INT. TUNNEL - OTHER END - NIGHT

Reaching the end of the tunnel, they find themselves

looking down on:

EXT. MIGUELITO'S LAIR - ESTABLISH - NIGHT

In a hidden valley, surrounded on all sides by forbidding

mesas, sits a complex of buildings. It's a self-contained

manufacturing center for God knows what. Freight wagons

RUMBLE to and fro. Steam shovels and traction engines

labor. Electric lights cast an eerie glow on everything.

ARTEMUS:

It looks like a factory. And all

lit with electrical lights!

The dismount and lead their horses into a stand of trees,

during:

JIM:

Let's split up. It'll double our

chances of finding Dr. Pemberton.

Artemus nods and they sneak off down the wagon road into

the valley.

EXT. MIGUELITO'S LAIR - WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

A giant warehouse dominates the place. Steam rolls out

its windows. A deep RUMBLING comes from within.

Out in front, in the glare of the lights, the steam tank

is being serviced by a crew of WORKERS. It's even more

menacing than before -- fitted with a new turret featuring

a bigger steam cannon, a motorized Gatling gun, and twin

ROCKET LAUNCHERS!

ANGLE - JIM

in the shadows, stares at the machine with foreboding.

Now he hears HARPSICHORD MUSIC. He looks off.

ANGLE - JIM'S P.O.V. - MIGUELITO'S FACTORY OFFICE

Atop a three story factory building sits Miguelito's

office, its elegant windows and lavish curtains out of

place in this rough-hewn environment. The music's coming

from there. This must be the place.

But between him and his goal are a couple of armed GUARDS.

EXT. MIGUELITO'S FACTORY OFFICE - MINUTES LATER

A big freight wagon rolls past between the GUARDS and the

outside stairway up to the office. Unseen by them, Jim

is clinging to the offside of the wagon. He hops off and

sprints up the stairs.

INT. MIGUELITO'S FACTORY OFFICE - NIGHT

In a sumptuous, heavily decorated room, Miguelito holds

court behind a vast desk. Antoinette plays dreamily on

her harpsichord while Cassandra and Voltaire listen.

Just as Miguelito launches into the first few bars of his

anthem, the office door swings open. Jim steps boldly

in, locking it from the inside.

Everyone is dumbstruck for a moment. Then Voltaire lunges

for him, but Jim's six-gun instantly appears, leveled at

the big man's face.

JIM:

You're not that big.

MIGUELITO:

Restrain yourself, Voltaire. He's

just the sort of coward who would

shoot an unarmed giant.

Voltaire backs off, glowering. But Miguelito keeps his

cool, turning back to Jim.

MIGUELITO:

Why, Mr. West. I am impressed.

(suddenly noticing)

Ooh, a rhyme!

Antoinette strikes a little "Ta Da" chord and smiles.

MIGUELITO:

(going on)

Still alive. Hmm. I suppose that

doesn't bode well for poor Bruno.

JIM:

He had a pressing engagement.

MIGUELITO:

(scowls at Jim)

Philistine.

Jim now aims his gun at the little man.

JIM:

You got that right. Now get up.

We're walking out of here.

MIGUELITO:

(flaring)

Has it penetrated that adrenaline-

addled skull that you are surrounded

by seventy-eight of my loyal

followers? You are in my domain!

JIM:

Has it penetrated yours that I'm

holding a gun on their leader?

You're under arrest. Now move!

MIGUELITO:

(bellows)

You have no authority here! You

are out of your jurisdiction!

Jim thinks the little guy has lost a few more marbles.

JIM:

The U.S. is my jurisdiction.

MIGUELITO:

Exactly! You are on foreign soil.

You are a representative of the

occupying forces. Or haven't you

checked a map lately?!

He hits a switch. A large wall map of the United States

unfurls like a movie screen. But the southern half of

California and a chunk of Arizona and New Mexico are all

in one color and labeled "LOVELAND."

MIGUELITO:

These lands were taken by force

from Mexico in the illegal War of

American Aggression.

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