Wild Wild West Page #18

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The machine lurches forward, SMASHING through the wall of

the building. We finally see the rest of it.

It doesn't have wheels.

It doesn't have treads.

It has legs. The thirty foot tall behemoth stands on six

immense, multi-jointed, piston-powered legs.

This is THE TARANTULA.

Its huge, bulbous body, three decks high, is suspended in

the center of the radiating legs. The top deck is open.

The center deck contains the engine room and gearing.

The lower deck bristles with turret-mounted Gatling guns

and cannons.

The body is surrounded by a bewildering "exoskeleton" --

a cage of criss-crossing riveted girders and beams. Narrow

catwalks run helter-skelter through the complex.

It's intensely Jules Verne. Everywhere things are moving --

giant gears, whirling flywheels, gleaming pistons. Steam

HISSES from dozens of vents.

On the ground, the remainder of Miguelito's men come out

of hiding, CHEERING wildly, throwing their hats skyward.

ANGLE - THE STEAM TANK

Jim, Artemus, and Dr. Pemberton gaze up at the thing in

absolute dumbstruck wonder.

ARTEMUS:

God in heaven, what is that?!

JIM:

That's... that's the criminal mind

about to stomp our sorry butts!

PEMBERTON:

(terrified)

He calls it the Tarantula.

ARTEMUS:

But it only has six legs.

JIM:

Shut up.

ANGLE - THE TARANTULA

It turns toward them, giant CLANKING legs working in smooth

choreography -- the eerie, high-stepping gait of, well,

of a tarantula. Each huge foot kicks up a cloud of dust

as it SLAMS down.

The Tarantula's vast shadow falls across the hopelessly

minuscule steam tank.

Jim, Artemus and Dr. Pemberton shrink down into the tank,

slamming the hatch.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - NIGHT

The bridge is jammed with exotic controls: ratcheted

levers, steam valves, brass-rimmed gauges. Cassandra

consults dials and spins valve-wheels as Miguelito works

the walking control levers. Prominent in front of him is

a big red-painted lever, the Master Speed Control.

The rest of the top deck is a maze of exposed machinery,

pumping, throbbing, and spinning -- OSHA was not consulted.

And the view is spectacular -- a commanding 360 degrees

through the chain-mail armor curtains.

Miguelito smiles down at the puny steam tank.

MIGUELITO:

Aww! You took my little steam gun

carriage! I guess I'll just have

to get along without it!

EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

The Steam Tank jerks into reverse FIRING everything she

has -- Gatlings, cannon, rockets.

ROUNDS EXPLODE against the superstructure of the Tarantula,

but don't leave a scratch!

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - NIGHT

A cannonball from the steam tank strikes the chain mail

curtain. The curtain bulges inward, but stops the shell

a foot from Miguelito's head, then springs back, flinging

the shell away to explode harmlessly in the air.

MIGUELITO:

(exultant)

It works! Did you see that?

Cassandra flashes him a heady grin. He gets a new idea:

MIGUELITO:

Watch this! Oh, watch this!

EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

The Tarantula raises one of its six legs, swinging it out

over the steam tank. The tank backs up desperately but

not fast enough.

SQUASH. The tank is half-accordioned. As the massive

steel foot rises, the tank's sprung belly hatch pops open.

Jim, Artemus, and Dr. Pemberton scramble out.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - NIGHT

Miguelito revels as only he can:

MIGUELITO:

Crushed you like a bug! Feeling a

bit Lilliputian, Mr. Tall-in-the-

Saddle, Mr. Fit and Handsome?!

EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

The Tarantula marches off with a jaunty step, climbing

effortlessly up the steep hillside.

Miguelito's remaining men CHEER wildly as the great machine

clears the hilltop.

EXT. THE TUNNEL ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Jim leads the way as they race back to where they left

their horses.

JIM:

Come on! We'll beat that thing to

Albuquerque! Let's get to the

Wanderer!

As Artemus hauls Dr. Pemberton along:

PEMBERTON:

He's not giving up?

ARTEMUS:

Well, see, he had this little wagon

when he was a kid...

EXT. DESERT - DAWN

As the sun rises, we see the Wanderer waiting at a siding

in the distance.

ANGLE - DOYLE

bides his time using his long-necked oil can to fill the

oil-cups on the engine's side-rods. He looks up to see

Jim, Artemus and Dr. Pemberton GALLOPING toward him on

their two horses.

JIM:

Albuquerque, Mr. Doyle!

CUT TO:

EXT. DESERT - DAY

The Wanderer bullets along the rails at full throttle!

EXT. DESERT - MESA - DAY

We hear a foreboding SOUND -- steam locomotive plus

elephant stampede. From behind the mesa treks Miguelito's

fantastic machine, weird six-legged stride giving it a

bizarre gait. Jets of steam ROAR from its vents, keeping

syncopated time to its SEISMIC footfalls.

As the machine lumbers past we can hear SINGING:

MIGUELITO (V.O.)

... Like an eagle on the wing!

Oh, Loveland, mighty Loveland...!

EXT. ALBUQUERQUE - ESTABLISH - DAY

The young Western town clings to the green-belt ribbon of

the Rio Grande.

EXT. ALBUQUERQUE - CENTRAL AVENUE - DAY

The celebration of the Presidential visit is in full swing.

Banners adorn Central Avenue. An exuberant CROWD has

gathered, men and ladies in their finest. A BAND plays a

rousing march. A company of SOLDIERS stands guard.

At the East end of town --

ANGLE - A HYDROGEN OBSERVATION BALLOON

sways majestically on its tethers, hung with colorful

bunting. SOLDIERS manning it offer free rides to the

public. A wagon holds the complex of hydrogen generating

equipment fed to the balloon through big canvas tubes.

ANGLE - A BANDSTAND

President Grant and smiling local DIGNITARIES preside

over the festivities. The GOVERNOR steps to the lectern

and signals the BANDLEADER, who brings the march to a

close with several big BASS DRUM HITS.

GOVERNOR:

Ladies and gentlemen of the great

territory of New Mexico...

Under his speech, deep BASS THUMPS continue. THUD. THUD.

THUD. The bandleader glares at the BASS DRUMMER, who

shrugs helplessly: "I ain't doing it!"

GOVERNOR:

... it is with great honor I present

to you the President of the United

States, Ulysses S. Grant!

The crowd CHEERS wildly. Grant takes the stand. But

before he speaks, he becomes aware of the eerie THUDDING,

growing louder and louder.

More and more people hear it, looking around, falling

SILENT. The ominous sound permeates the atmosphere.

Where's it coming from? What could it be?

A CRY goes up. Hands point. Heads turn.

ANGLE - A DISTANT BLUFF

Dust boils from behind it.

The Tarantula marches slowly up into view. It pauses on

the hilltop surveying the town like a monstrous predator.

ANGLE - TOWNSFOLK

Stunned. Fascinated. The sight is so astounding they

have no idea how to react.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - DAY

Miguelito and Cassandra gaze at the distant crowd.

MIGUELITO:

I could get used to this, looking

down on people.

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