Wild Wild West Page #20

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It's Jim and Artemus, heading pell-mell for --

EXT. OBSERVATION BALLOON - DAY

They reach the balloon. Jim grabs a line and ties the

balloon to the wagon carrying the hydrogen generating

equipment.

JIM:

Pull the balloon right in front of

him! We'll board the damn thing!

ARTEMUS:

Oh, I see, an easy plan!

Artemus leaps into the wagon, grabs the reins and charges

away, towing the balloon behind while Jim clambers up

into the basket.

The wagon races along, Artemus towing the balloon right

into the path of the oncoming Tarantula. Jim shouts from

the balloon:

JIM:

All right, Artemus! Get up here!

Artemus reins in the horses and leaps into the back of

the wagon to untie the balloon.

But a withering burst of Gatling fire tears up the wagon,

literally cutting it in half. It collapses. Artemus

falls with it. The balloon's rope rips free.

Bullets ZINGING around him, Artemus rolls for cover.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - DAY

Miguelito gapes as this madman in a balloon soars up

directly in front of him. He hops up and down BELLOWING:

MIGUELITO:

Will you just stop?!

(into speaking tubes)

Fire! Fire! Don't you see him?

INT. TARANTULA - GUNNERY DECK - DAY

The Gatling gunners try to swivel their guns up for a

shot at Jim, but the barrels just hit the top of the gun

ports. No one ever thought they'd have to shoot up.

EXT. THE TARANTULA

marches down Central Avenue. Miguelito swerves to one

side, trying to avoid passing beneath Jim.

The gargantuan machine SMASHES THROUGH a saloon as though

the building were a house of cards.

EXT. OBSERVATION BALLOON - DAY

Seeing the Tarantula avoiding him, Jim swiftly uncoils a

rope, forming a lasso. He's only got one shot and he

knows it. As the monster keeps veering away, he lets fly

with a cowboy YELL -- and snags it!

WHOOSH, the balloon is instantly taken into tow, hauled

behind at a crazy angle -- the world's biggest kite.

Without hesitation, Jim climbs out of the basket and starts

down the taut rope, hand over hand. He reaches the criss-

crossing "exoskeleton" girders on the very stern and

gingerly begins to climb down.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - DAY

Miguelito brings the Tarantula to a lurching stop. The

chain-mail curtains WHOOSH aside. He and Cassandra rush

out. They can see the balloon flying above the stern,

but Jim has disappeared.

MIGUELITO:

Find West! Find him! Get him

off! You know, kill him... if

that's humanly possible!

Murder in her eyes, Cassandra pulls a big-bore derringer

from her garter and moves off aft. The deck starts

undulating as Miguelito fires up the Tarantula again.

Down below, Miguelito's gunners open up on Grant and his

men with the turret-mounted Gatlings.

EXT. ALBUQUERQUE - CENTRAL AVENUE - ARTEMUS

sees the Tarantula start to move, lifting its legs out of

the rubble of the saloon. If he's going to act, he'd

better act now.

ARTEMUS:

(psyching himself up)

Oh, all right! Act first and worry

later!

He lunges for the massive foot and grabs on.

He's carried high in the air as the foot is raised to

clear the wrecked building. The foot starts back down.

He braces for the shock, clinging to the riveted cross-

members of the "ankle." WHOOM! The foot slams down, but

he hangs on.

The leg stays still for a moment while the other legs do

their thing. In this pause Artemus scrambles partway up.

Avoiding thrusting pistons, he can only climb during the

pauses, but he's getting there.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - DAY

Jim finally drops down onto the deck. It's a nightmare

maze of air intakes, reciprocating gears and pumping

pistons that protrude through it from the engine deck

below. Jim eases along a narrow catwalk, avoiding the

gyrating machinery.

He ducks as a big counter-weight swings across the catwalk.

The move saves his life as POW, a shot strikes the bulkhead

where he was. He pops up, gun drawn, but hesitates for a

second when he sees it's Cassandra who fired. In that

moment, the counterweight swings back, knocking Jim's

pistol right out of his hand. It skids across the deck

and drops into a narrow grating. Jim tries to reach it,

but his arm is too big to fit through.

He jumps up as Cassandra advances on him, moving around

an immense reciprocating gear protruding up through the

deck. Jim backs up, punching the derringer belt buckle a

couple of times. No good.

CASSANDRA:

I had hoped I wouldn't be the one

who had to do this, Mr. West. I

usually don't mind killing a man.

But in your case I find myself

strangely conflicted.

Jim fixes her with a deadly look.

JIM:

You know, I really hate being toyed

with before someone shoots me.

CASSANDRA:

(with a shrug)

Fine, I'll stop.

She FIRES! The shot hits Jim in the stomach -- right in

the derringer belt buckle! SPANG! The derringer flips

out and FIRES.

Cassandra is hit squarely. Pure shock and surprise on

her face, she sags sideways toward the ROARING gears.

She weakly grabs onto a cross member. Eyes wide with

terror, she holds herself suspended above the gears, but

her fingers are slipping.

Jim lunges to catch her, but is too late. With a horrid

SHRIEK Cassandra pitches forward.

CUT TO:

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - BRIDGE - DAY

Cassandra's distant SCREAM is lost in the machine noise.

The Tarantula lurches uncertainly as one of the levers

jams momentarily. Miguelito wiggles it, then taps a

pressure gauge. Seems to be all right now. He looks

behind him nervously, then grabs a brass speaking tube:

MIGUELITO:

Cassandra?

EXT. TARANTULA - ENGINE DECK - DAY

Artemus has climbed up to the "knee" of the leg. Here it

makes a sharp bend back down to pass through the wall of

the middle deck. When the leg moves back, there is a gap

in the wall just big enough to slide through. When the

leg steps forward the gap closes.

Timing it just right, Artemus slides down the leg and

through the gap!

INT. TARANTULA - ENGINE DECK - DAY

Artemus drops onto a precarious walkway in the heart of

the Tarantula, a bewildering M.C. Escher chamber of

whirling gears, spinning fly-wheels, hissing pistons,

massive CLANKING drive chains.

He's spotted by a UNIFORMED CREWMAN across the chamber.

They both pull six guns and rapid fire! But the

oscillating machinery between them blocks all twelve

shots, bullets RICOCHETING everywhere. Artemus and the

crewman blink at each other, unhurt, unbelieving.

Then the crewman charges. They go at it HAND TO HAND, at

every moment in danger of falling into the works.

EXT. TARANTULA - TOP DECK - DAY

Jim works his way cautiously toward the bridge.

Miguelito's VOICE comes over the speaking tubes:

MIGUELITO (O.S.)

Cassandra, answer me!

INT. TARANTULA - ENGINE DECK - DAY

The powerful crewman has pinned Artemus against a railing,

choking him. Beside them is a big whirling flywheel.

Artemus spots the man's long key chain hooked to his belt.

He lets go of the man's arms for an instant and flicks

the keychain over into the spokes of the flywheel.

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