With Honors Page #3

this morning...

...so I took the air out

and put her in the closet.

Take my blade.

Remember, if you tire of The Face...

...Helga's got a brother.

How's the view?

This won't work.

Look, I've been working on this

since junior year.

I'm not going to just start again

because a bum is holding it hostage.

He'll get it tonight and I'll talk him

into giving me the whole thing.

Yeah, you've done a great job so far.

- I thought you said he wants a home.

- Look, I'll handle it.

Okay? Okay, Jeff?

I'll have him out in a couple of days.

Just cut me some slack.

Keep an eye on him.

Go get her, Monty. Go get her.

We should call your mother.

He'll freeze in that wreck.

I got extra blankets. Go give them to him.

- I don't want him to be too comfortable.

- He could die.

No such luck.

You're not really like this, are you?

Please tell me this hard-hearted jerk

isn't you.

Give up on me.

I'm tired of disappointing you!

Then do it out of self-interest.

You want to be a diplomat, right.

Secretary of state.

Even Pitkannan would offer a hostile power

a few blankets to establish good will.

Don't cut yourself.

I never wanted to be a razor so bad

in my life!

Here!

It's your namesake's work.

Somebody spotted you in the library.

Thought you were Walt Whitman's ghost.

Van's actually mine, you know.

I loaned my ex-roommate a fortune

And he fled to Bali.

And I got the van.

Why don't you sell it?

- The engine doesn't run.

- So fix it.

- Want me to do it?

- Oh, sure.

- You a mechanic?

- No.

I'm a Zen Buddhist,

but that's close enough.

How many bottles of that wine

will you give me if I fix it?

To get this thing running.

Six!

Eight!

Seven!

Eight!

Nine, but that's my final offer.

Didn't you used to run a savings and loan?

No, you're thinking of my father.

Look, you want a little something

in advance?

Boy, oh, boy. You must be one

of the great minds of your generation.

You got a corky screw?

Hey, boy, here we go.

For lodgings and meals

and two extra for the blanket.

Thanks. Thanks a lot...

...but the blanket was just...

...good will.

I'll carry your books.

What'll that cost me?

- It's for the blanket.

- You didn't ask for it...

...so the blanket doesn't count.

I appreciated it, okay?

Would you appreciate it

if I carry your books?

Boy, oh, boy, we're in business.

Come on, boy.

Keep it up, Hoppy. Let's go.

- Here we are, back where you found me.

- Don't remind me.

I wonder what it's like to read upstairs.

Bet the light is better.

Germinal, right?

This library is like a church, isn't it?

When you were in church, did you wonder

what other people are praying for?

Did someone die? Was someone just born?

Library's like that for me.

Sir, you can't stay in here.

It's okay. He's with me.

He's part of my research project.

I beg your pardon.

Women, ain't they perfect?

Not always.

Yes, they are. They're perfect.

Don't matter if they're skinny, fat,

blonde or blue.

If a woman is willing to give you her love...

...it's the greatest gift in the world.

Makes you taller, smarter.

Makes your teeth shine.

Boy, oh, boy. Women are perfect.

- Keep your voice low.

- Perfect joy and perfect ache.

Joy when you first see

and get to know them...

...ache when you leave them.

Joy, ache. Joy-ache.

Joy-ache. Joy-ache....

If you keep your voice low,

then you wouldn't attract attention.

I'll give you two pages for a bath.

Okay. Let me get some work done.

Why'd you say I was a loser?

Sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pot calling the kettle black.

I'm not a loser, Harvard.

I'm a quitter.

You try too hard.

Winners forget they're in a race.

They just love to run.

''Mine eyes have seen the glory

''Of the coming of the Lord

''He has loosened up the panties

''Of the little whore next door

''His truth is marching on''

Okay. He cannot stay, so get him out.

Water doesn't cost anything.

I'll buy you more bubble bath.

I am not taking a bath in there.

Did you give him a key?

I spent the day with him. He's harmless.

He likes to read. He likes to talk,

once you get him going.

I cannot take this right now.

I can't. I just can't.

I'm not going to make Med School.

I'm at Harvard, I'm not going to make

Med School. Can you believe that?

I've got one page of my thesis.

What. I heard you printing last week.

It sounded like you had 50 or 60 pages.

Blanks.

I printed out blanks.

I didn't want you guys to know.

And I thought I was wound tight.

Just get him out.

I cannot work with him around.

What if my mom comes? She will.

She'll check on me.

Calm down. This is scary.

You're sounding like Boz.

- I'm nothing like Boz.

- Who's like Boz?

Boz. I thought Boz was in Bali, by golly.

He's wearing my robe!

And it smells terrific.

I left clothes out for you.

I only came down for a beer.

I can't get dressed without one.

Little quirk I got.

This is totally out of control.

What's wrong. Did you wake up

on the wrong side of the bed?

Is this a lover's quarrel?

Maybe I should leave.

We're not lovers, we're roommates

and we respect each other's space.

You respect each other's empty air?

That's very profound for Harvard students.

Let's go.

My robe!

If that's how you feel about it,

don't you wear any of my things!

Just keep it.

I think there's entirely too much bickering

in this house.

I don't know if I can live here!

I hope my summer place is ready soon.

Then you'll probably miss me

and don't come begging.

I know. I have a plan.

I'm taking him to Social Security.

I'll get him disability benefits, all right?

I expect you to clean the bathtub.

Name.

Simon Wilder!

Who is Simon Wilder?

He is!

He is!

Cut it out! He is!

- Are you Simon Wilder?

- I used to be.

DOB.

E-F-G-H-I-J!

Date of birth. When were you born?

When the moon was full,

I was abandoned by my mommy.

I was raised by a she-wolf

in a Wyoming cave.

Come on. This'll get you money.

You need money.

I don't. You do.

I'll ask again.

Do you have evidence of birth?

I'm sitting here, ain't I?

What do you think I happened by,

spontaneous combustion?

He's not cooperating.

- What state were you born in?

- Infancy.

I'm trying to help.

You see this face, lady.

Memorize it. Some day

this boy's going to save the world.

I'm sorry. If he's uncooperative,

there's nothing I can do.

I guess that's why you work here.

Can I have one of these muffins?

No!

I'm sorry. No.

Can't even get a muffin.

How're you going to get cash?

What're you doing.

If you're in line for muffins,

you're wasting your time.

They're not giving any out.

What are you doing? We made a deal!

I kept my part of it. I went in, didn't I?

What difference does it make if the money

comes from me or the government?

The difference is I got a grievance

against the government.

It's your money. You paid into the system.

You said you worked. Sailor, lumberjack,

short-order cook. Or was that bullshit.

There you go. Excuse me.

Well, are we going to the movie, or what?

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