Without A Clue Page #5

Synopsis: This is a Sherlock Holmes story with a difference. Here Dr Watson is the ace detective and has been using an actor to play the part Holmes. Holmes is a drunken actor and gets on Watson's nerves. When Watson tries to go it alone, he doesn't have much success, so he is forced to let Holmes take all the credit once more.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Thom Eberhardt
Production: Orion Home Video
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
60%
PG
Year:
1988
107 min
516 Views


Now, follow me closely.

- What am I looking for?

- Footprints.

Right.

- Have I found any yet?

- No, not yet.

Right. Let me know when I do.

Hello? Anyone at home?

Hello?

Well, if Giles was headed here,

it's obvious he never arrived.

Mr. Holmes.

They've found...Donald Ayres.

Who?

Dreadful! Dreadful!

Stand back, lads. Stand back. Leave it to me.

- All taken care of.

- Constable, please.

Not until Mr. Holmes has had a chance

to investigate the body for clues.

Yes.

lt is my opinion that he is dead.

He's a genius.

(Whistle)

CLERK:
Thank you, sir.

Two first-class tickets to London.

Well, Mr. Holmes, any theories?

Indeed. Obviously Giles and Ayres were caught

in a storm too far from the shore to swim for it.

Yes, and with that heavy suitcase attached

to his wrist and the lake being so deep.

Quite. Pulled the poor wretch to the bottom,

struggling futilely, flailing desperately,

as the cold, black water sealed his fate for ever.

- Well, it's certainly been a lark. Thank you.

- Thank you very much indeed.

We must be off.

Pleasure meeting you, Mr. Mayor.

And the same, Doctor.

Now, we know for a fact

that Giles was on the boat.

No, we don't.

Oh. Well, we do know for a fact

that Giles arrived in Windermere.

No, he didn't.

He didn't?

I thought he did.

Ah. Well, we really know that Giles

was behind the theft of the printing plates.

No, he wasn't.

Fine.

Just trying to get things straight.

Tell me something, Watson.

Is there anything we do know for a fact?

Yes.

What?

That, without doubt,

there is an evil mastermind behind all of this.

Professor Moriarty?

Oh, for God's sake.

You didn't tell me that homicidal maniac

was involved in this.

Because I knew you'd behave this way.

Bravo! Another triumph

for deductive reasoning.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

Oh, pardon me.

Wasn't I the one who he tried to kill last night?

- Merely a technicality.

- Maybe for you, mate.

Think, man.

Who was supposed to sleep in that room?

That's true. You were.

Moriarty knows...

..I am the only match for his evil genius.

- Are you sure he's not trying to kill me?

- Of course not.

He knows you're an idiot.

Thank God.

Whoa, there. Steady, steady. Stand.

There we are, miss.

We're here.

Thank you.

Ta very much, miss. Walk on.

Miss Lesley Giles?

Yes?

Doctor John Watson at your service,

and this is Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes?

But what do you want with me?

The Government suspects that your father

has stolen the printing plates for the ?5 note.

What?

They also believe that he is at the bottom

of Lake Windermere, drowned like a rat.

Oh!

Father?

Watson, get some water, please.

Of course.

Father.

Sorry for the fright, Miss Giles.

Unfortunately, you fainted

before Holmes could add

that he personally believes your father

not only innocent, but alive.

Really?

Holmes believes

your father has been abducted.

Abducted? By who?

Abductors.

You see, Miss Giles, your father

was described to us as fanatically neat.

A fact confirmed

by the immaculateness of this very place.

I took the opportunity to have a look around,

and it is extremely tidy.

One must ask, therefore,

why such a compulsively neat man...

..would leave an unmade bed,

unless he was snatched from that very bed.

Oh, dear God!

Then a man posing as your father

was sent to Windermere,

where a mock drowning was staged,

unfortunately costing the life of an innocent

boatman named Ayres, forcibly drowned.

- Murdered.

- Why?

Why, you ask.

Because...

Fill in the details, Watson.

Because someone wanted us to believe that

your father and the printing plates were lost

at the bottom of the lake.

Thus Scotland Yard

and that poor misguided fool Lestrade

would foolishly believe

that the case was closed,

leaving the true villain free to wreak havoc

with the economy of the Empire.

All quite...elementary.

(Screams)

Let me go!

Mr. Holmes!

Have courage, Miss Giles.

You're not getting away that easy.

Put me down!

Put me down!

You don't know who you're dealing with,

my friend.

My name is Sherlock Holmes.

Put me down!

That's my foot

That's my foot!

Look out!

Leave her!

Sorry about this, Miss Giles.

Sorry about this, Miss Giles?!

- Hurry.

- He's got my bleedin' shoe!

- They've gone.

- I know. I chased them away.

Oh, you brave, brave man.

Danger is my trade, but not yours.

It's unsafe for you to sleep alone tonight...

..unattended.

Yes, we insist you stay with us.

- Oh, but surely I'd be an imposition.

- Think nothing of it, my dear.

lndeed, Holmes will be working all night anyway,

so you can have his room.

Interesting. Of Italian manufacture.

What?

This shoe - brand-new.

Oh, yes. Very interesting.

Do you think...?

Do you think she's ready for bed yet?

And, if I'm not mistaken, caked with mud

mainly found in the vicinity of the Thames.

The Thames, yes, yes.

Poor girl. Poor beautiful girl.

Some sleep would do her good.

I can picture her lying there,

her eyes closed, gently breathing.

Her breasts heaving

as her supple, nubile young body...

caresses the cool, limpid sheets.

Yes, Thames it is.

Near Southwark. Interesting, isn't it?

To say the least.

WATSON:
Why would common ruffians

be wearing imported shoes?

Not second-hand mind you but brand-new

Ooh!

Agh!

- What was that?

- What?

Oh, if it's not one thing...

Oh, I'm sorry.

I suppose I must be still rather nervous.

You may rest easy, miss.

No-one will disturb you tonight.

Isn't that so, Holmes?

Quite.

Good night.

Good night.

(Chimes)

(Clock chimes)

(Snoring)

(Door opens)

Mr. Holmes?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realise you were still asleep.

Asleep? Who can sleep

when there's work to be done?

Dr Watson seems to have gone out.

Really?

I wonder where.

Who knows? He has very little patience

with detective work.

Often becomes quite bored.

- Yes?

- Yes.

Your job must be very difficult.

One does get rather...tense.

Oh, I can imagine.

The hardest thing...

..is to find ways to relieve that tension.

So you play the violin?

Only if worst comes to worst.

Well, I really don't want

to add to that tension, so

- I think I'd better go and finish getting dressed.

- No, please. I assure you.

An occasional break is quite refreshing.

- My mind thrives on diversity.

- Mr. Holmes!

What? What? How many times

have I got to tell you to knock?

Have you no respect for people's privacy?

Right. You've gone quite far enough,

overstepping the bounds of propriety.

Come along, my dear. You'll be much safer

with me. We'll have tea downstairs.

- Now, there's a good idea.

- You have visitors.

MRS HUDSON:
Such carryings-on

and in the middle of the day

This is a respectable Presbyterian house,

I assure you.

Take no notice, sir. The woman drinks a bit.

Come in. Welcome. Good morning, inspector.

Holmes. I've informed Lord Smithwick

of the findings in Windermere.

Though the case did not turn out as we hoped,

Her Majesty did insist on rewarding you

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Gary Murphy

Gary Murphy (born 15 October 1972) is an Irish professional golfer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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